Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, Revised Edition (Paperback)

~ (Author) "As a stepmother, you are initially perceived, falsely or not as a rival to the most traditionally revered and respected biological force in the family-the..." (more)
Key Phrases: custodial stepmother, one stepmother, remarried partners, Clifford Sager, Thomas Seibt, Lillian Messinger (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The role of stepmother has long been maligned--just think of Cinderella's or Snow White's stepmothers. Since 1985 when Cheri Burns published this funny, helpful book, stepmothers have felt relieved and no longer so alone. Burns, a stepmother herself, wrote the book to help fellow travelers understand the dynamics and conflicts of their role and navigate the stormy waters of "Expectations," "Guilt," "The Wicked Ex-Wife," "Discipline," "Vacations," and more. Stepmotherhood remains a vital guide for any woman who is either contemplating stepmotherhood or who is already there. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Burns's aim is to ``reexamine and to shed new light on stepmothering and its modern dimensions.'' She bases her book on interviews with ``more than forty stepmothers'' and desires to assist the stepmother reader in putting ``herself and her experience into focus by understanding stepmothering's peculiar chemistry and inherent obstacles.'' Such topics as visits, holidays, family gatherings, financial obligations, and problem stepchildren are covered. Commonsense advice, informal tone, and touching anecdotes will make the book popular with its intended audience. For public libraries. Susan McBride, Northeast Texas Comm. Coll. LRC, Mt. Pleasant
Copyright 1985 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Revised edition (September 25, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0609807447
• ISBN-13: 978-0609807446
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #43,157 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #16 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families
  #86 in	Books > Nonfiction > Women's Studies > Motherhood

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

97 of 101 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not the best book in its category, December 2, 1999

By	"junebuglet" (Clemmons, NC USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked (Paperback)

I'm going to be moving in with my boyfriend and his young son in a few weeks, and I ordered "Stepmotherhood" and "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role" to give me a little preparation for what I should expect. I found that "The Enlightened Stepmother..." gave a much more thorough discussion on the difficulties of stepparenting as well as giving creative and helpful tips on getting through the hard times, whereas this book emphasized the negative aspects of the situation you might be facing. "Stepmotherhood" gave very few suggestions of how to deal with individual problems that might come up, and didn't seem to have been researched half as thoroughly as "The Enlightened Stepmother..." whose authors interviewed hundreds of stepmothers from all walks of life for help with their material, in addition to being stepmothers themselves. If you're looking for one book to both support you in the hard times and give you directions to the good times, I'd thoroughly recommend "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role," but I'm going to return this book.

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am normal!, February 24, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked (Paperback)

I read this 'self-help' book as something of a last resort. I am a stepmother of two young boys on an every other weekend basis and have been finding it unbelievably hard. The most helpful thing about this book is that it really is down to earth and honest - and refreshingly un-p.c. It explained a lot of the feelings I have been experiencing over the last year or so and by making me realise that I am not alone, and that my feelings, however negative or ugly, are 'normal' in that they are experienced by lots and lots of other women in my position, helped me immeasurably. A previous reviewer commented that it was too negative, but I think that it depends what stage you are at and how hard you are finding everything. I read another book straight afterwards which, while also helpful, was too upbeat for me, had too much emphasis on the children and on how I should be behaving, which only adds to the sense of guilt and failure that I have. 'Stepmotherhood' really uplifted me and made me feel a lot better about myself - now perhaps I can build on that and be ready for the do-gooders in a little while. I have persuaded my partner to read it too! Thankyou Cherie!

31 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Better books are out there, January 8, 2005

By	L. Shannon (Finland) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked (Paperback)

I bought this book at the same time as Sue Thoele's The Courage to be a Stepmom, and I would recommend Sue Thoele's book over this one by a long shot. While both books are honest and straightforward, "Stepmotherhood" falls into a pattern of listing horrible stepfamily situations (I mean, are ALL ex-wives really screaming lunatics? That hasn't been my experience), then revealing that a combination of realistic expectations and open communications can help address the situation. While this is true and undoubtedly useful to know, that's about as far as this book goes. A better subtitle for the book might be: "Stepmotherhood: Worst-Case Scenarios Galore". In contrast, Sue Thoele takes the need for open communication and low expectations as her starting point, then delves deeply into HOW to accomplish these difficult tasks, with a great deal of emotional realism and insight. I found myself turning to my partner and discussing points Sue Thoele had brought up on almost every other page, discussions that helped the two of us establish exactly the open communications that both authors recommend. Burns' book didn't inspire any such discussions between us. It all depends on what you're after, but if you want a real-world toolkit for how to swim in the waters of stepmotherhood without getting devoured by entirely avoidable sharks, I recommend popping Sue Thoele's name into your Amazon search engine.