Into the Tangle of Friendship : A Memoir of the Things That Matter (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "THIS IS THE MEMORY of a blonde girl on the sidewalk of a new street..." (more)
Key Phrases: old best friend, Mary Anne, Camac Street, Mary Beth (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"Friendship is a benefaction and a weight. It is an instruction and a tool, a risk, a therapeutic, a happenstance, a philosophy," writes Kephart (author of A Slant of Sun: One Child's Courage, a National Book Award finalist) in her intimate and expansive meditation about friendship, a topic she explores not only for herself but also in the hope of finding wisdom and guidance that she can impart to her almost-teenage son. As she learns through her own experiences and observations as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, co-worker and friendDand through the reflections of other authors (including Willa Cather, Truman Capote, William Maxwell)Dfriendship is essential to our being, but never perfect: it's both fragile and safe, alternately yields succor and despair, and is at times heavy with responsibilities and expectations. There can be friendships between virtual strangers, as Kephart finds in meeting Bambi, who welcomes the author into her church and web of friends. There is also that deep friendship, reinforced with trust, that is "the size of marriage." And there are friendships that require reciprocity, as Kephart discovers with Andr e, who was among the first to believe in Kephart's writing and now, as Andr e's husband lies dying on the other side of the world, needs Kephart's empathy. Most importantly, Kephart recognizes, after reuniting with her former best friend, Joanne, and while watching her young son play with his closest comrade, "you can't make old friends, ...you can only lose them, [and] in losing them, you lose part of yourself." Kephart's writing is luminous, filled with phrases so precise that they are worth committing to memory. Like Annie Dillard, Kephart is destined to attract a loyal and thoughtful following. Agent, Amy Rennert. First serial to Reader's Digest. 3-city author tour. (Sept. 14) [Originally intended to run in advance of publication, this review appears late due to a scheduling error.]
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Kephart, a National Book Award finalist for A Slant of Sun, meditates on circumstances that promote and encourage friends to find each other, stay together, or drift apart, beginning with observation of her son interacting on a playgound: "Friendship is a benefaction and a weight?an instruction and a tool, a risk, a therapeutic, a happenstance, a philosophy. I must find the words to teach my son." Inspired by memories of childhood friends who opened her up to experiences beyond her family and neighborhood, she renews old bonds amuses no their meaning. As she relates details of her own intercultural romance and marriage, Kephart discusses friendships across cultural, ethnic, and language barriers. Remembering a former neighbor's encouragement early in her writing career, Kephart, painfully aware that she can never fully reciprocate this past kindness, offers support when this woman's husband is dying overseas. Unlike Ellen Goodman and Patricia O'Brien's I Know Just What You Mean (LJ 5/1/00), in which women share stories of friendship, Kephart in a single voice, lyrically and poignantly explores the dimensions of friendship. Recommended for public libraries. Kephart, a National Book Award finalist for A Slant of Sun, meditates on circumstances that promote and encourage friends to find each other, stay together, or drift apart, beginning with observation of her son interacting on a playgound: "Friendship is a benefaction and a weight?an instruction and a tool, a risk, a therapeutic, a happenstance, a philosophy. I must find the words to teach my son." Inspired by memories of childhood friends who opened her up to experiences beyond her family and neighborhood, she renews old bonds amuses no their meaning. As she relates details of her own intercultural romance and marriage, Kephart discusses friendships across cultural, ethnic, and language barriers. Remembering a former neighbor's encouragement early in her writing career, Kephart, painfully aware that she can never fully reciprocate this past kindness, offers support when this woman's husband is dying overseas. Unlike Ellen Goodman and Patricia O'Brien's I Know Just What You Mean (LJ 5/1/00), in which women share stories of friendship, Kephart in a single voice, lyrically and poignantly explores the dimensions of friendship. Recommended for public libraries.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (September 14, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0618033874
• ISBN-13: 978-0618033874
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #265,336 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A provocative meditation on the meaning of friendship, September 25, 2000

By A Customer

This beautifully written book inspired me to look back over a lifetime's worth of friendships, and to finally see all of these relationships in a whole new light. Beth Kephart is amazingly honest about the joys and pains of frienship, especially between women--the ways we support each other, and the ways we sometimes let one another down. When I finished this courageous, deeply felt memoir, I felt compelled to take the time to really reach out to those people who have proven themselves to be my own true friends. It is so easy to take our friends for granted, to let friendship turn into quick phone calls, or two-line emails. But our friends are so much more important, and they deserve more from us, as Beth Kephart reminds us in this richly woven tapestry of friendships of many colors and textures. She has not just been lucky in friendship, she has given deeply of herself, and she has been blessed in return with soulmates who have stood by her through thick and thin. This is a book for friends to give, to share, to read together; it's the beginning of an important conversation; a reminder to pay attention to the people who really matter in our lives.

44 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a book for the head and heart, October 19, 2000

By A Customer

I was astonished by the beauty of this book. The prose is luminous, and the subject matter is certainly universal, but Beth Kephart takes such a refreshing and unorthodox approach to the topic of friendship that I was startled in the best sense of the word. I'd never really thought about how strange, how oddly buoyant, friendships are. I've given this book to several friends (close and not so close) and the response has been electric. We have all succeeded and failed at friendship. Now that I've read Kephart's book, I will, I hope, never again be timid in the face of a difficult relationship. I will carry Kephart's wisdom and generosity with me always.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Friendship, the words we don't have, April 14, 2001

By	Carol Lieto (Granite Springs, New York United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Beth Kephart's book, _Into the Tangle of Friendship_, is a wonderful book that should be given to every friend we have in our own unique circles. It is not a suspense novel, and not a book to be taken lightly. Kephart gives words to the emotions we all have and feel about our friends. She manages to do the impossible, give voice to our emotions. Friendship is an indefinable part of our lives, and each friend provides, as Kephart says, a unique thread towards the fabric of the quilt that defines our lives. This is more a sociological treatise than a novel, and readers who buy this book must realize that fact. It is a wonderful book that can be read whenever, chapter by chapter. Each chapter can be read independently, though together the book follows a logical sequence. Thank you, Beth, for giving us the words that do not flow easily from our hearts. The poetic language and the allusions to literature are just one added bonus to the gift of words given to the reader by this author.