The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "My first daughter was supposed to be going to sleep in her crib..." (more)
Key Phrases: positive opposite behavior, household chaos, defiant child, Parenting the Defiant Child, The Kadin Method, Everything You Need (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Kazdin, director of the Yale Parenting Center and Conduct Clinic as well as president of the American Psychological Association, claims his method works with no pills, no therapy and no contest of wills. Instead, Kazdin uses a practical, science-based method of dealing with behavioral problems in children that relies on positive reinforcement and a reward system. Kazdin doesn't dwell on the scientific research (it seems the reader must trust him on this), though he claims his method works about 80% of the time with serious problems and therefore should have even greater success with everyday behavior glitches. He outlines a plan to help parents focus on the positive opposite (in other words, what they want the child to do) and then takes them step-by-step through a process of praise and reward. Though Kazdin's approach seems complicated at first, his easygoing and often humorous tone gently guides readers through an array of problem scenarios, including bedtime, tantrums, grocery shopping with a younger child, getting ready for the school day and homework. The author promises long-lasting results for a temporary investment in his practical, positive method; parents may be well rewarded if they give it a try. (Jan.)
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Product Description

A lifesaving handbook for parents of children who
are occasionally, or too often, "out of control"
Includes a bound-in twenty-minute DVD featuring
Dr. Kazdin and his staff illustrating key concepts of
the Kazdin Method
Most child-behavior books are filled with advice that
sounds reasonable, fits with what parents already
believe about child-rearing, and is—as Dr. Kazdin proves—
guaranteed to fail. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the
Defiant Child makes available to parents for the first time
Dr. Kazdin's proven program—one backed up by some of
the most long-term and respected research devoted to any
therapy for children.
Kazdin shatters decades' worth of accumulated myths
about tantrums, time-outs, punishments fitting the crime,
and much more.With the practicality of Ferber and the warmth
of Brazelton, Kazdin leads parents through every step of the
Kazdin Method in action—how to use tone of voice, when and
how to touch, how to lead your child in a "practice" session,
how to adjust your approach for different-age children, how to
involve siblings, and more.The program is temporary, but the
results are permanent—for very young children, adolescents,
and even beyond.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin; 1 edition (January 8, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0618773673
• ISBN-13: 978-0618773671
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 5.9 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #13,582 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #29 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Parenting > Discipline
  #95 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Parenting > Babies & Toddlers > Child Development

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Revolutionary book for me, February 2, 2008

By	A. Summerfelt - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book has changed the lives of me and my children permanently. I only wish Alan Kazdin hadn't taken so long to write it! He was very busy doing good work, though, and obviously taking good notes so that he could pass it on to all of us.

We have been using Kazdin's Method for 2 weeks now and I am amazed by the results. Our morning routine of getting ready for school and out the door needed a serious overhaul. We hit rockbottom one morning that ended in a lot of yelling and I knew I needed to do something drastically different. My 2 boys(6 and 9) are now out of bed right when their alarm goes off at 6:30 am, dressed and downstairs for breakfast even before I can get it ready. They then get up promptly from the table, brush teeth and hair and have their backpacks ready to go for the carpool a full 15 mins. before they need to be. My 6-yr. old came down one morning and said, "You know Mommy, now we have so much extra time that I think we should make our beds before we go too." I was nearly too stunned to talk! They do all of this so that they can get points and bonus points to go to the library, stay up an extra 15 mins., get a small gift certificate ($5) for a store, etc. Kazdin makes sure you get the all important details right, however, before you implement such a program. You have to get it all right or it won't work! But it isn't hard and I really enjoy using the program and helping the kids cash in their rewards.

This book can help with some serious defiance/behavior issues, but I wish that it was aimed more at just general parenting too. I think all parents can use ideas when the going gets tough. I know that's when I'm at my worst. Now I feel prepared. It is important to note that Kazdin mentions what to do in situations where the behavior is severe but doesn't happen very often (low-rate behavior). I have tried his method for that also with absolute success. I'm so impressed and wish that he could find a way to implement this in a school setting for "problem kids" with behaviors that need to change.

I can't say enough good things about this book and Alan Kazdin. He will change the way children are raised and disciplined and all with very positive results.

44 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice balance to "get them a prescription or have them pop a pill" approach to disciplining children, January 21, 2008

By	K. Corn "reviewer" (Indianapolis,, IN United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

Just before writing this interview, I read that drug company Eli Lilly was facing some challenges with the drug Strattera, possibly because of the backlash to reaching for prescription pads every time a child hits a bump in the behavioral road. This book ties in with that news because it is touted as being an alternative to pills.

Don't get me wrong. I had at least one child (now an adult) who had what I truly believe is ADD....but we didn't rush to judgment on that diagnosis and it took a long round of observations, trial and error and other changes before we turned to medications. So I'm not ANTI-medication. I am ANTI "jumping to conclusions". We waited a good year or longer before we came to any conclusions.

One thing that struck me, even before reading the book was a fact found on the author's website, information about how the children he sees at his clinic are "younger than before" and are being asked to function in ways not necessarily appropriate for small children (or, as the author puts it, "asked to function well...in daycare" in ways they might not have to behave at home, in ways no small child can behave all day. Children are children and they get tired and whiny and have tantrums and don't often behave well in structured settings.

Now to the book - I loved it. There is a focus on being mindful about how to discipline children and to move away from techniques that don't work and often escalate to shouting matches, threats and harsh punishments. Instead, Mr. Kazdin focuses on proven (emphasis on PROVEN) techniques to handle the type of common - and not so common - challenges that parents face. I haven't read anything like this and I've read quite a few parenting books. I'm suggesting it to young mothers I know and who seem open to such suggestions. I might even leave a copy in a local daycare center or school. The information might keep some child from being put on drugs for simply going through a normal developmental milestone.

Again, I believe that ADD is real. I also believe that over-medication is real. Read this book and figure out if this is the answer for your defiant or otherwise difficult child or if you need something more. The extra information won't hurt.

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally!, February 18, 2008

By	a shopper - See all my reviews

My first child is an "easy" child, but my second child MORE than makes up for it. I have struggled for years to try to "tame" her somehow. I've read dozens of parenting books and even tried the "supernanny" methods, and NOTHING has worked on my child. Timeouts, losing priveleges, even taking everything out of her room, yelling, spanking, you name it we've tried it, nothing has had any effect on her behavior at all. I am so relieved to finally find a parenting book that explains why none of those methods, and why punishment in general do not work to change behavior (except temporarily). This book explains what does work, and he lays it all out in excruciating detail so you basically can't go wrong. When I got this book in the mail, I sat down and read it in one evening - it is a very easy read and has lots of good example stories. I had to go back to some sections when I actually began to implement the method to look up certain details, but the book is very well organized so it was easy to find what I was looking for. The main thing about his method is positive reinforcement - yes everybody knows that - but this book explains how to do positive reinforcement correctly so that it actually works! I wish I had read this book years ago because it has made me and my family so much happier. I highly, highly recommend this book.