An EMPTY LAP: One Couple's Journey to Parenthood (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

How do you become a parent? In journalist Jill Smolowe's An Empty Lap, the journey to parenthood joins the "coming of age" book as a meaningful description of the passage from one stage of life to another. In her late 30s, Smolowe wanted a baby. Her husband Joe was, at best, ambivalent. An Empty Lap is about physical and emotional journeys: the Smolowes travel through doubts and resistance, fertility treatments, desperation, and depression; from doctor's office to doctor's office, vials of sperm in hand, to adoption agencies; and finally, from New York to China to full parenthood. An Empty Lap is well written and moving, but never sappy. And even though we know the positive outcome from the beginning, the process is both what fascinates and what is important. An Empty Lap is a journey deep into one couple's relationship. That Smolowe shares their innermost processes with us feels like a gift.

Review

... the overstuffed narrative remains unsettling. Among memoirs of the travails of the affluent, the sparest are the best.... An Empty Lap is eminently readable, but the book rarely transcends the focus on personal history. The moral complexity of international adoption is passed over lightly. The marriage remains enigmatic. -- The New York Times Book Review, Peter D. Kramer

Her unromanticized understanding of what it takes for two highly opinionated adults to work through some of couplehood's most stressful challenges is what gives this book its appeal. In her unlabored ability to discuss just about anything--sex, squabbles, the late-30s-and-what's-it-all-about blues of sophisticated '90s women--Smolowe makes compelling general-interest reading out of a special-interest subject. -- Entertainment Weekly

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Atria (November 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671004360
• ISBN-13: 978-0671004361
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,000,471 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Exquisitely Powerful Story of Adoption and Parenthood, March 8, 2002

By A Customer

Jill Smolowe's book, "An Empty Lap,' was one of the most powerful books I have read in a decade. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in learning about the adoption process and the challenges of fertility. It details the author's personal quest to have a child. 'An Empty Lap' is extremely well written and easy to read. The story is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. It recounts the travails of the available medical interventions explored to counter the couples' fertility problems. I personally found this section most informative. When the author and her husband finally began to research the adoption process, some of the roadblocks and setbacks they faced were devastating. I have since met numerous people who faced similar experiences in the adoption process. It is painful to know that there are so many wonderful children needing adoption and that the actual process of adoption can be so arduous. Their personal experiences while adopting a Chinese child were informative, encouraging and a great starting point for anyone interested in exploring the possibilities of adopting abroad. Jill is an award-winning journalist and rarely agrees to do television interviews. When they ran her story in People Magazine, she agreed to do a number of television interviews because the topic was so personal and powerful for her. This book is a treasure and would be a welcomed addition to your own personal library. After reading it, you will want to recommend it to anyone considering adoption. Reader's Digest felt so highly about the book that they featured it worldwide in a range of languages in condensed versions. I think it is worth reading the original book cover to cover. You would not want to miss any detail of this bittersweet story. It will certainly touch you forever. I feel very comfortable giving 'An Empty Lap' a five-star rating.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Courageous book, March 8, 2002

By A Customer

Anyone dealing with infertility or considering adoption will be well served by reading this book. The author does not sugar coat. She is honest and open, which is as refreshing as it is painful -- and leaves you feeling much less alone. Nor is she afraid to speak about the way these issues threaten to tear up the very bases of a marriage. This is not an easy book to read -- but you come out the other end much wiser about the true nature of the issues.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Aid and Comfort, March 8, 2002

By A Customer

This book should be of great comfort to anyone who is going through infertility or is thinking about adoption. The author's honesty and openness is as refreshing as it is painful. While I myself have not been through this particular ordeal, parts of her struggles with her husband rang a familiar note, as I expect they might with any couple that has an honest and equal-footed relationship. Her descriptions of her experience also helped me better understand what some of my friends went (or are going) through. I recommend it both to anyone who is dealing with infertility and/or adoption, and to anyone who has a loved one currently caught up in those emotion-fraught issues.