My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies (Mass Market Paperback)

by Nancy Friday (Author) "In my mind, as in our fucking, I am at the crucial point: . . ..." (more)
Key Phrases: lesbian fantasies, female sexual fantasies, being fucked, House of Fantasy, John Harrison, Women's Lib (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
This book caused quite a ruckus when it was released 25 years ago because it directly quotes the sexual fantasies of dozens of women, ranging from the "very common" rape fantasy to lesbian affairs to unusually explicit scenarios that are unmentionable here. While author Nancy Friday maintains that My Secret Garden served to free millions of women from sexual oppression, there's still a need today to get rid of the guilt that millions more still feel when it comes to fantasizing, having orgasms, and making one's sexual wishes be known. "How could it be, you might ask," she writes, "that women today, at the turn of the century, would still think they were the only Bad Girls with erotic thoughts? What kind of prison is this that that women impose on themselves?"

My Secret Garden has the prurient appeal that made it one of the most passed-around books in high school study halls (it boasts chapters titled "Insatiability" and "The Thrill of the Forbidden"), but its premise, underneath the tales of lusty longings, is a serious one. Friday, also author of My Mother, My Self and Women on Top, is appalled at how parents, especially mothers, instill in their children a deep fear of sexual pleasure, and she advises how to do away with this stultifying force. While Friday can get a little histrionic at times ("Women's lust ... could bring down not only individuals, but society itself"), that doesn't make this book any less enthralling. --Erica Jorgensen

From Library Journal
Published in 1973 during the sexual revolution, this volume brought women's hardcore sexual fantasies out of the realm of pornography and into the mainstream. Though it no doubt raised many an eyebrow at the time, it doesn't really contain anything that you won't find in an average issue of today's women's magazines. This 25th-anniversary edition contains a new introduction by the author and a few new fantasies. Though tame by 1990s standards, this will still "undoubtedly prove enjoyable to many readers" (LJ 6/1/73).
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 384 pages
• Publisher: Pocket Books; Revised edition (June 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671019872
• ISBN-13: 978-0671019877
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 4.2 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #95,266 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I believed that I never fantasized., January 26, 2001

By	R. Byrd "byrdie" (Seattle, WA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

For years, I used erotica books as surrogate fantasy material, believing that I was incapable of fantasizing during sex, that I had no fantasies of my own and had to use other people's. Reading "My Secret Garden" changed my perception of myself drastically. Those horrid, disturbing thoughts that floated into my brain, that I would shove down quickly as "sick," were indeed fantasies. The brave women who contributed their fantasies and feelings showed me that even if what I was drawn to was "sick," it certainly wasn't uncommon.

I am especially grateful to the women who commented on making the decision to share, or not share, their fantasies with their lovers. This was crucial for me. At a time when my thoughts were to be confessed on demand, I deprived my lover by depriving myself: those weren't fantasies, they were just random weird thoughts that made me uncomfortable. However, after getting out of a bad relationship and realizing that my mind was my own toy, I realized that I could explore those thoughts without fear of exposure to anyone but myself.

One I allowed myself my own secret garden, I found that I could share with myself and my current lovers in a way that previous ones had tried to coerce out of me. Living well is indeed the best revenge, and I thank Nancy Friday for her subversive assistence.

There are sections and chapters. Here's a listing of the section headings:

Introduction: Twenty-Five Years in the Garden

1. "Tell Me What You Are Thinking About," He Said

2. "Why Fantasize When You Have Me?"

3. The House of Fantasy

4. "Where Did A Nice Girl Like You Get An Idea Like That?"

5. Guilt and Fantasy, Or, "Why The Fig Leaf?"

6. Fantasy Accepted

7. Quickies

Afterword: "In Defense of Nancy Friday" by Martin Shepard, M.D., psychiatrist

Along with fantasies submitted via taped interview and by mail, Friday includes her own analysis of the history of women's erotic nature, the era at the time of initial publication and the fantasies themselves. There's no bibliography and no footnotes; she mostly refers to any sources in her text itself. She's a good writer, whether I agree with her at each chapter or not.

Written letters are kept in the style in which they were sent. Some of the women are amazingly articulate. Some of the letters are a painful read from a literary standpoint. But I think that enforces the idea that all of the submissions are genuine.

People who are interested in this book simply as another erotica compilation may well be disappointed. This is an academic study of women's fantasies, and not a "best of" compilation. If anything, it's a compilation of what Friday observed to be most representative of her times. And a quarter of a century after its initial publication, it changed my life.

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Rare Find for the Sexually Intelllectual, February 1, 2004

By	Alana Mitchell (Alberta, Canada) - See all my reviews

I first read this book on the shelves of my public library when I was still a teenager, and I'll NEVER forget that first rush. WOW - someone else actually has these ideas going through their head?!

Mind you, that was 10 years ago. I've re-purchased the book many times over, because I keep on losing it or giving it away. This book is a fantastic combination of the psychology behind women's sexual fantasies and the actual fantasies themselves. I'll be honest - I haven't masturbated to these fantasies in years.. although I did constantly when I was still a teen.

This book opened my eyes up to the 'taboo' of sexual fantasy, and helped me understand at a crucial time in my life that fantasy is healthy and a necessary part of anyone's life. I no longer have ANY sexual taboos.. and it's mostly because of this book.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Will Steam Glasses, March 4, 2005

By	carl womack (north carolina) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Nancy Friday asked women around the world, to send in their sexual fantasies and experiences. What she got even shocked her. Some of, if not THE most provocative fantasies and experiences ever published. I have owned(notice I said "have owned") a couple of copies of this extraordinary book. But each time I bought one, someone would want to "see it", and I would never get it back. Like Forbidden Flowers (a similar publication by Nancy Friday), anytime someone seen me reading a copy, they'd want to read a page. Only thing is, I never had anyone who could only read one page. They would be so captivated by its contents, they'd read more and more. I've had as many as 5 women at a time, come up to me and inquire as to what I was reading, then ask to let them "read a page". As they read, mouths dropped open, eyes would widen, faces would turn flush, and giggles galore would occur. It's amazing how a book can make women in their 20's 30's 40's and 50's act.
This is in no way like one of those "letters" books you've heard about in porno shops. Those letter books are not even in the same league!!! And its not a book with a bunch of 4 letter words in it to help sales, though there are a very few of them in it. No, it's what, and how it's said that makes this one risque' to say the least. Millions have been printed, and millions have sold. It's been a few years since I owned a copy of this book, and for various reasons. But I love to write reviews for Amazon, and since it is a book I've read several times through (grin), I felt I should write about it.
Getting back to the book, be prepared to be shocked. It is totally uncensored, and includes Nancy's own research into human relations. If you desire to find out if other people have had similar fantasies and experiences that you've had. If you seek to learn about research done on the topic of sexual fantasies, you'll want to read My Secret Garden, and Forbidden Flowers.