His Secret Life (Paperback)

by Bob Berkowitz (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal
Sexual fantasies; we all have them. What many people may not know is that the same fantasies that make our hearts go pitter-pat can also tap into the unconscious and help express deep-seated desires or conflicts. Both of these books encourage readers to explore and understand their erotic thoughts to gain valuable insights into themselves. Toward that end, both include numerous fantasies per chapter, many explicit in detail. These details are necessary since only then can the sexual thoughts be broken down and analyzed for significant themes, recurring imagery, and hidden meanings. Both books also speak of a new sexual age in the near future, when everyone will benefit from the demystification of sex and will be able to communicate effectively about the subject without fear. The books are nevertheless different. Berkowitz, host of the popular talk show Real Personal, focuses on men's fantasies, organizing them thematically by content and offering straightforward analysis. Sex therapist Maltz and journalist Boss focus on women's fantasies, grouping them according to the six most common roles, e.g., the pretty maiden, the victim. They also cover uncharted waters with a section on eliminating troublesome and unwanted sexual fantasies. If your library can afford only one, Maltz and Boss is the more analytical title, though both are recommended.?Marty Dean Evensvold, Magnolia Branch Lib., Tex.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews
Imagine a diverse group of men candidly sharing their sexual fantasies, with TV personality Berkowitz moderating and commenting with wit and sincerity on our nation's sexual habits. The result is His Secret Life. Berkowitz (What Men Won't Tell You but Women Need to Know, 1989) gives a new twist to his old theme: the secret desires and needs that men are reluctant to talk about. Since they won't tell women directly, he argues, women need to read their secret fantasies in their ``sign'' language: ``The fantasy is like a postcard a man sends to himself. It says, `Wish you were here.' '' Based on surveys and correspondence, this volume offers a collection of men's fantasies with the author's running commentary. Although the largely unedited contributions represent a wide range of literary skills and cultural references, they all reflect the domination of mass media--advertising, in particular--on the male imagination; many fantasies resemble TV commercials or films. The book is divided into four parts. ``Control'' covers fantasies involving the sexually confident woman. Power sharing, Berkowitz asserts, is the name of the game, although some will question the control allowed women in some of these fantasies. ``Taboo Breaking'' indicates that the classic m‚nage … trois ranks as men's favorite fantasy. Group sex fantasies amusingly reveal egotism, as in this comment: ``I am the star, and they all want me.'' But such ego reinforcement, according to Berkowitz, is not purchased at someone else's expense and acts as a comfort in this ``harsh and unforgiving'' world. ``Beyond Ground Zero'' addresses oral sex and male masturbation, which, as many will suspect, is how fantasies often end. Berkowitz casts aside his tone of detachment for one of caution and responsibility in the final section, ``Other Options,'' on S&M and cybersex. As he admits, some of these fantasies are disturbing. ``Disney World for adults,'' says our host glibly. As with the Magic Kingdom, some will be tantalized, others turned off. (For a look at women's sexual fantasies, see Wendy Maltz and Suzie Boss, In the Garden of Desire, p. 529.) -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Pocket (October 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671026089
• ISBN-13: 978-0671026080
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #707,293 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Nothing new in here...my mother could have written this book, March 8, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: His Secret Life: Male Sexual Fantasies (Hardcover)

I am always on the lookout for new material to enhance my sex life, and this book looked like it would hold new and previously unknown secrets. Unfortunately, there is nothing new or even remotely secret revealed here; the text consists mostly of the same boring vanilla fantasies most women already know that men have, like the classic menage a trois or sex with a stranger--big deal! No new ground is broken here, I am sad to say. The author ought to take some pointers from Nancy Friday and dig a lot deeper before touting these frat-style encounter tales as "secrets".

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every woman should read this book, May 16, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: His Secret Life: Male Sexual Fantasies (Hardcover)

I selected this book because my husband is a very private person and the title His Secret Life sounded like it might tell me something about him. What an eye-opener. And a conversation-starter, too. Once we began talking about what I read, my husband started to open up and share his own secret fantasies. We are not youngsters. We've been married 28 years! This is the first time we've been able to talk to each other honestly about sex. Both of us agree that since I read this book we feel like we are on our second honeymoon. Our friends and family even notice the change. Our daughter gets married this year. Know what I'm getting her for a wedding present? His Secret Life! Every woman should read this book. (My husband agrees!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Worth borrowing from the library, but not worth buying, November 26, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: His Secret Life: Male Sexual Fantasies (Hardcover)

This book, while nothing new, seemed to me to be a half-hearted nancy friday clone. Save your money and buy "Men In Love"