Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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49 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
"Holding Time Is Absolutely *Not* Abusive., March 15, 1999
By A Customer
Occasionally I have heard or read comments about Holding Time that include false information, and would like to correct some of them and encourage everyone to read the book. It was *not* designed for autistic adults. I know this, because my family has worked with Dr. Welch in her offices in New York City and she told us how it developed, as she also does in the book itself. Holding Time was developed by Dr. Welch for autistic children, and has since been shown to be remarkably successful in helping all children, including those described as "normal". I believe anyone who finds Holding Time to be abusive either has not read the book, or is simply not applying the technique correctly. In this case, they should contact a therapist who is specially trained in attachment issues. Having worked with Dr. Welch and seen the truly remarkable results she's brought about with our two girls, I find myself telling all my friends about the technique and encouraging them to try it with their own children. So many of the problems associated with child rearing can be eliminated with Holding Time. Whereas "Time Out's" teach children that their emotions are not acceptable and that they must get out of the parent's sight, Holding teaches that *no* emotions, including anger, are unacceptable and that anger does not negate love. Through Holding, you can experience a degree of joy and love you would not have thought possible. I honestly believe that many of the problem kids in our society who are now problem adults would not be committing crimes or hurting anyone if they had been "held" as children. I'm reminded of the words of the great anthropologist Margaret Mead who said (and I paraphrase), "Is it possible for one person to change the world? Indeed, that's all that ever has." Please don't be afraid of Holding Time. Read the book, get help from an attachment specialist or call Dr. Welch if you need to, but try it. Best wishes to everyone.
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49 of 56 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Holding Time, January 17, 2000
I am an educational psychologist who was noticing some minor but persistent behavior and emotional concerns with my two children. My daughter was short-tempered and very sensitive to any criticsm. My son was somewhat distant and did not often like to be held or kissed. I was familiar with attachment theory but was looking for a way to use it myself. I found this book in a bookstore and used the Welch method in a modified way (I could never hold them against their will). The results were so gratifying-I still am amazed when I think of my children's response to being really listened to and connected with on this deep level. The theory helped me understand their behavior at other times too. My children are teenagers now and I am still reaping the benefits of the physical and emotional closeness that we were able to establish. It took lots of effort for me to implement this radical method, even in a modified way, but holding time with them was of great and lasting value for our family.
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
You Gotta Read It!, August 2, 2000
My sister introduced me to this book. She found it at the local library. It was an answer to our prayers! PLEASE read this book, and try it on your children! It has made an incredible difference in my life and the lives of my four children. This idea of "Holding Time" is so incredibly much better than the other forms of discipline out there--time out, spanking, etc. It is a great way to get "angries" out in a safe way. It not only helps the child learn to communicate their feelings, it helps moms learn patience and self discipline too. I love it and would VERY HIGHLY recommend it to you. I plan to buy a copy for myself for future reference, one for our church, and for several of my close friends. My little girl (age 3) is a totally different child after starting holding. She expresses her feelings much better (instead of screaming or throwing a tantrum) and has fantastic eye contact. She actually ASKS for Holding Time! My 7 year old son has also opened up verbally, and doesn't demand attention through bad behavior (stealing, lying, etc.)"Holding Time" is very much worth the $. I thank God for it, and also Martha G. Welch, M.D.!
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