Keeping The Love You Find: A Guide for Singles (Paperback)

by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix (Author) "For the first time in our cultural history, being single is considered by some to be a preferred life-style..." (more)
Key Phrases: basic fear, growth challenge, typical frustration, Lost Self, Making Love, Denied Self (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
A guide to holding onto love shows readers how to meet the challenges of a new relationship, avoid making the same mistakes, deal with emotional issues, and improve their odds. Reprint.

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Atria (February 1, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671734202
• ISBN-13: 978-0671734206
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #4,444 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #4 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality > Human
  #20 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > New Age > New Thought
  #22 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Gender Studies

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

114 of 120 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Really good, but needs to clarify his definition of "Marriag, May 2, 2002

By	Elmer Craven (Union City, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This is an exceptional book of its kind -- I usually loathe so called "Self-Help" books, but I find the author's "Imago" theory -- based on the belief that we subconciously seek out partners that resemble our parents because they trigger childhood wounds and/or parts of ourselves we have disowned, and the reason for this is that our subconcious has a deep yearning for those wounds to be healed, and for us to reclaim our shadow parts and become whole again. Is that long-winded enough ??? There's no magic answers here, but reading this book you may begin to understand why you repeat the same destructive behaviors in relationships, and begin to realize that far from being something that's beyond your control, it is in fact patterns that your subconcious is deliberately recreating, and will in fact continue to do so until you conciously decide to heal.

However, I find his assertion that complete healing is only possible within the context of a committed marriage to be a complete fallacy, and I base this assertion on experience, on individuals I know who have made incredible healing breakthroughs as single people. Yes, the guarantee of a committed lifelong partner and a commitment to each other's healing creates a stable and permanent environment for healing and growth to happen, but such healing and growth is possible outside the context of a marriage. It may involve more work and more commitment on the part of the individual, but believe me, its possible.

101 of 107 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Self-Help Book I've Ever Read, February 9, 2000

By A Customer

Over the past five years, I have reread KTLYF and redone all the exercises several times (I'm midway through the fourth now). Each time, I learn more about myself and my relationships. Each time, I am enlightened by some new insight or gratified to see my hypotheses validated. KTLYF applies real, complex psychology principles in a way that lay people can understand. It's not easy. You are asked to do exercises to uncover yourself. If you don't do the exercises, the book will be of little value. The fastest I've ever been through the process has been a month of working on it several hours a day. But every minute is worth the time and the effort. I can see why I've made the choices I've made; I can see that they actually make sense; I don't need to beat myself up for making them. I am aware. And that awareness is a giant step toward healing and finding the type of love I seek. This is the best self-help book I've ever read.

55 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Challenging Experience, January 10, 2000

By A Customer

This book is not handing out easy answers. The books main focus is helping you dig up your personal info. Such things as Upbringing, Dating History, Sexual History, Self-Opinion, Personality, Dreams, etc. When you understand more about yourself, you understand what you need.

A bit of warning though, Dr. Hendrix's book could leave you depressed at times. The exercises are very personal in nature and can reopen old wounds, traumas, etc. In the middle I asked myself "Is there any hope for me?" Hendrix answers with a firm, undeniable yes. And its true.

I would recommend it to anyone at any age who is willing to do some soul searching, emotional understanding, and self awareness.