Come Here: A Man Overcomes the Tragic Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Having suppressed for 40 years incidents of childhood incest on the part of his psychotic mother, Berendzen, a noted astronomer, devoted family man and former president of American University in Washington, D.C., suffered a recurrence of subconscious trauma which triggered compulsive phone calls to strangers about child abuse practices. The calls were eventually traced to his office, forcing his resignation from the university in a flurry of publicity. With coauthor Palmer ( Shrapnel in the Heart ), Berendzen delivers a remarkably objective account of his treatment under Johns Hopkins Hospital's psychiatric program for sexual disorders, and of his eventual healing, that should not only prove inspiring to other child abuse victims, but also presents a portrait of an exceptional man who transformed a horror story into this moving human document. It concludes with the resumption of his teaching career at AU and his dedication to the cause of abused children. Photos not seen by PW .
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

A scandal broke out a few years ago when American University president Berendzen was caught making sexually oriented phone calls to strangers. Here, Berendzen (Is My Armor Straight?, 1985) and Palmer (Shrapnel in the Heart, 1987) team up to tell the harrowing story of the academician's childhood sexual abuse--abuse that festered until its tragic eruption during middle age. Berendzen's mother first seduced the author when he was eight and continued until he was eleven, stopping for reasons as unspoken as her motivations for the abuse in the first place. Berendzen blocked the episodes from his consciousness and lost himself in work, becoming an astronomer, a professor at Harvard, and, finally, president of AU. Workaholism had destroyed his first marriage, but his second was happy and stable, as wife Gail worked with him to upgrade AU's image and put it on the road to financial prosperity; together, they became prominent on the Washington social scene. But, gradually, disturbing compulsions began to intrude upon Berendzen's carefully controlled life. He found himself making furtive phone calls to day-care providers who had advertised in Washington newspapers. He would quiz them about sexual activities with children and lead them on with confessions of his own invented exploits. The author never linked the calls to what he'd suffered, and, he says, never got sexual pleasure from them: He was trying to find out, in a confused way, what makes adults use children for such sick purposes. One woman decided to trap Berendzen and taped his calls: Exposed and forced to resign his position, he entered the John Hopkins clinic for sexual disorders and began to face his past. Berendzen's story of his recovery, his wife and daughter's steadfastness, his efforts on behalf of other abuse survivors, and his final forgiveness of his parents is told with honesty, eloquence and humility. An inspiring and compelling work. (Photographs--not seen) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 301 pages
• Publisher: Villard; 1st edition (August 24, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 067941777X
• ISBN-13: 978-0679417774
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,042,669 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Reflections and a helping hand, February 22, 2003

By	Andrea Pauls - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have read some books about (sexual) misuse. Some of them are well written ("I don`t want to talk about it" from Terrence Real) , but this book touches my heart like no one did. I know, I`m not the only one with this experiences. If you know someone who had survive, or if you are a survivor, read this book!

The right time to reflect the own childhood will never come. But Mr. Berendzen shows how to manage it, if you have to face the facts: Reflect, take care of your hidden soul, speak about it, stand up and let friends be there for you. YOU CAN FIND A HELPING HAND !!

I want to thank Mr. Berenzden for his enormous courage to face his monsters of his past and I'm thankful that he was able to write and speak about it. This is something very special.
I also want to thank his wife and his children, they are the living furnish proof of the helping hand.

It wasn`t easy for me to concentrate on normal life. But this book helps me calming down and carry on.

Thank`s

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring, April 8, 2002

By A Customer

I am currently enrolled in Professor Berendzen's astronomy class at AU. Even before the beginning of the semester, I knew his reputation as the best teacher AU has to offer. I have respected him as a wonderful teacher ever since his class begun. Only upon reading "Come Here" did I realize how much I respect him as a person. I read "Come Here" in one afternoon. It was well written, lucid, and informative. The horrors of Professor Berendzen's childhood should never have to be faced by children, or anyone else for that matter. The fact that he has gone on to be a major intellect in astronomy and in education, as well as the most successful president in the history of my university, is a testament to his drive and his ability to overcome the awful adversity of his early life. Professor Berendzen's coming to terms with the abuse he faced was one of the most painful experiences I can ever imagine. I don't know how he survived it, much less wrote about it to try to help others. His dedication to assisting other people to recover from childhood sexual abuse, and his continued excellence in teaching make me admire him a great deal. If you need hope for recovering from abuse, read this book. If you want to look inside a brilliant mind from a troubled background, read this book. It is an inspiring recovery story from a truly great man.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hope and Light for Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, May 6, 2002

By A Customer

Why haven't more books like this been written in the last decade?
(If they have and I missed them, would somebody please let me know?) That was my first thought almost from the moment I started reading this book.

If I didn't know better, I'd think the author knew my story and was writing about me. The more I read, the more I learned or remembered about my own very similar experiences.

Actually, in a sense, he knows my story very well. Reading about the horrible sexual and emotional incest, along with the other abuses that Richard Berendzen went through at the hands of his own mother, is still helping me find & place pieces of the puzzle that is my life. Thanks, Doc!

I hope soon to contact Dr. Berendzen. Having already gotten to know him so well by reading his story, it would be my pleasure and privilege to hear from him, and especially to meet him face to face.

If you even think you might be a male victim of child sexual abuse, especially incest by your mother, PLEASE read this book. There are stll very few volumes and fewer true stories written about these tragic topics, especially by someone as prominent as Dr. Bernedzen. You will get to know Richard Berendzen; most importantly, you will no doubt get to know yourself better.

Actually, this book is a great source of courage & encouragement for anyone who has suffered any kind of abuse and the resulting trauma, as well as those close to them who suffer with them.

Ultimately, however, the story of Dr. Richard Berendzen is a story of self-discovery & growth, of struggle & victory, of love & life. It gives me hope that I can overcome the abuse I like Dr. Berendzen am just beginning to remember in my middle age. It is a light helping to show me the way through the darkness of this abuse that has for years overshadowed everything that I do and that I am. Richard Berendzen inspires me to follow in his footsteps to go beyond my abuse and even to help the many other victims, many unknown, out there in my world.

Truly this book contains "hope and light for male survivors of child sexual abuse."