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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Books like these give erotica a bad name ...., April 23, 2001
When I read the title 'The Best... 'of I usually become apprehensive, but, I decided to take the plunge and kick out the bucks to buy this book. What a disappointment!! On reading the 30 short stories (can't believe I got through them all) many of them entail stories that must have been taken from 'The Best Gay Erotica' since it deals with boys doing what they do when they are alone. Matter of fact, sadly enough, the ONLY stories that were to any extent even slightly erotic were the 'boys will be boys' stories ... In the first story 'Innocence in Extremis' we get 3 pages of a 28 year old virgin describing her frustrations with any relationship except her fingers. The second story 'Space Girls are Easy' a young man is kidnapped by good looking green women with antenna that use manuals like 'The Whole Earth Catalogue' which also came with abduct-o-matic, and bind-a-bean tape and fasteners to hold down the earthlings they want to have sex with. 'The Maltese Dildo' is a story about a private detective finding a dildo that had a jewelled handle... it's a boy boy story that was aaahhhhemmmm penetratiing to say the least .. 'Triple X' is a story of a young girl in the South going to X rated theaters because it's the only place she could find AC. 'A hand rests on a swollen breast, thighs open like a bible' is about as erotic as this stupid story gets....LOL 'Sophies Smoke' is a hoot. This is a story about Sophie and a young man in a humidor closet doing things with cigars that would make Clinton proud. 'Calcutta' story of two boys in a steam room, nuf said OK ... 'S&M'A two page story of a girl wanting to be taken by the back door and be spanked. The story can't have more than 125 words for goodness sakes, I'm sure it was first written on a cocktail napkin!. 'Somewhere I have Never Travelled' is a story of a young girl in Japan being trained in the martial arts. She has the hots for her master and the only erotic sex that takes place her is that one drop of sewat hits her from his face, and after she breaks her leg in sparring, he kisses the instep of her good foot. Can't say it makes me tingle.... OK thats only the first 8 stories and not a hetero sexual erotic story in the bunch .. from here it goes down hill till, oh ya gotta love this one, we get to 'Rebecca' which is a story about Siamese twins joined at the head and one of them wants to, you know diddle the boyfriend Remus. I won't even get into their discussion at the hairdressers while they decide how to cut and trim their hair .... OK so if any of these stories turn you on and you find joined siamese twin, cigar munching, alien sex, with heavy emphasis on homesexual couplings as erotic, and exciting, then this book is for you .... otherwise save your money .... Finally, as if that ain't enuf, there isn't a mainstream published American erotic writer in the bunch of them ... UGGHHHHH
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