In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want (Paperback)

by Iyanla Vanzant (Author) "she was not looking for him..." (more)
Key Phrases: meantime experience, spiritual cleanser, love counselor, Beacon Street (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Many listeners will recognize relationship fairy-godmother Iyanla Vanzant's positively charged style from her frequent appearances on Oprah®. She infuses this reading of her own book with the cadences of a revival preacher on a Sunday morning. (It's no surprise, then, to find "ordained minister" listed in her biography.) Using housecleaning as her central analogy, she urges listeners to clean out their heads and souls if they want to be prepared for real love. Using anecdotes from her own life and those of others, she outlines how personal responsibility and respect for oneself can clean the attic, clearing the way for long, healthy relationships. (Running time: 2 hours, 2 cassettes) --Kimberly Heinrichs --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. For self-help collections in public libraries.ANann Blaine Hilyard, Lake Villa Dist. Lib., IL
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 326 pages
• Publisher: Fireside; First edition (September 28, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684848066
• ISBN-13: 978-0684848068
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (192 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #44,394 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Opportunity to Heal Ourselves, February 21, 2005

By	Mile High (Denver) - See all my reviews

Reading this book was the best thing I've done for myself in years. As a man reeling from ANOTHER extremely painful breakup, I was desperate for anything to sooth the pain. Having read LOTS of self-help books, I can say with some justification that this is the most spiritual, calming, healing guide to relationships that I've ever encountered. Like a cold compress on a fevered brow, I could always find relief and peace by reading this book, even at 3:00 in the morning.

Recommended to me by a spiritually advanced friend, I found it to be the only thing that calmed me down, stopped my heart from racing, eliminated the panic attacks, and made me feel whole again. It provides a loving, gentle nudge in the direction of individual wholeness, completeness, and understanding of what we've all done wrong in relationships. More importantly, it shows us what we can do to PREVENT these disasters in the future. The key, of course, is self-love. Like a gentle mother guiding her unruly offspring, Ayanla lovingly puts us back on the right path without making us feel stupid, unworthy, or hopelessly inept at love. Her most powerful contribution is the concept that no matter how bad our partner and the relationship, it is ALWAYS ONLY ABOUT US!

This book provides a roadmap to relationship success, if only we make the time for ourselves to uncover our own issues and work to correct them. I've read the book three times in a row, including highlighting, underlining, and dog-earring the pages. This is like a User's Guide to love. Don't get caught without it. Please savor this book. Race through it the first time, if you must, but read it slowly again to really understand what she is trying to teach us. Vanzant should get the Nobel Prize for this one.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for understanding life, December 27, 1999

By	"jessica_maia" (Cincinnati,OH) - See all my reviews

Excellent book for anyone who has not become their "ideal self" yet. This book reads like an old friend and earnestly works toward achieving what you truly want in life.... a better sense of self worth. It teaches that loving yourself comes first. Although this premise is not new, the book shows common occurances that we do not recognize immediately as disrespectful ourselves. This book does not talk down to the reader nor is it flooded with psychobabble.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Pretending that everything is just fine!, February 7, 2000

By	[e-mail] (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: IN THE MEANTIME : Finding Yourself and the Love You Want (Hardcover)

Iyanla's book was painfully true and exact! It wasn't until I stopped denying that I had accepted things in my life - unsatisfying career, dead end relationships, negative relationships - that were taking me away from the "true self", that I came to appreciate that I needed to hear the truth from someone who didn't care if my feelings were hurt. From someone who was not judgemental and insensitive. I beleive as people, we are in denial about alot of things in our lives. And maybe we are too proud to admit this to others, but always be true to yourself. That is the only way a change can come about for the better. At the end of the day, when there are no more eyes to look into and fake smile, when you are weary of saying "I'm doing great!", when actually, you are so unsure about yourself and how you feel, you really have no clue about how you really feel! This book isn't scholarly! You don't need your doctorate degree to relate. It's conversational! It's down to earth! It's like listening on the other end of the phone, while your Aunt's talk! It's a must read.