Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles With Power and Surrender (Paperback)

by Judith Viorst (Author) "It seems foolish to speak of control when so many forces, inner and outer, have the power to sweep away our plans and dreams, when..." (more)
Key Phrases: positive surrender, other quoted material, complying with authority, Morrie Schwartz, American Couples, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Whose life is not impacted, if not defined, by issues of control? Judith Viorst, author of bestselling Necessary Loses and the recipient of various awards for her journalism and psychological writings, cobbles an answer from a variety of sources--the works of biological and social scientists, psychoanalysts, philosophers, personal stories, and her own inimitably fresh point of view. Control--our lack of it, our desire to exercise it, our dread of it--is an omnipresent detail of humanity. Still, we cling to the belief in our freedom to get where we're going: our personal control. And what, in this age of it's in the genes, does control mean, exactly?

Citing adoption studies and twin research, Viorst asks--given all the factors that predispose individuals to certain behaviors--what can we reasonably expect to control? She scrutinizes control as it pertains to sex, marriage, parenthood, and workplace dynamics. In the engaging chapter "The Power of Sex," for example, she argues how control is drastically different for women than for men, debunking some powerful myths about male sexuality. The inquiry builds to that experience over which we possess the least amount of control: death. Viorst entreats us to regard our finitude consciously, particularly in relation to lives "heroically" prolonged in the final throes of terminal illness. She also addresses the issue of physician-assisted suicide, offering moving examples that bear witness to "the comfort of that control." Fascinating, funny, and insightful, Imperfect Control invites readers to seek the balance between power and surrender. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Viorst (Murdering Mr. Monti, LJ 12/93) suggests that we tend to exhibit "imperfect control" in our day-to-day existence. Taking an eclectic approach to her topic, she recognizes nature, nurture, and environment as all strongly influencing our struggles with control. Referring to the works of social scientists, psychologists, and philosophers as well as literary examples and personal experiences, Viorst shows how issues of power and surrender confront and affect us throughout our lives. With a new understanding of the possibilities and limits of our control, she ably demonstrates how we can better shape our lives through wiser choices and actions. Her book is very readable, with traces of the author's special brand of humor woven throughout. Highly recommended for psychology collections in all academic and public libraries and for all readers who wish to have a better understanding of the behavior of self and others.
-?Elizabeth Goeters, DeKalb Coll. Learning Resources Ctr., Dunwoody, Ga.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Free Press; 1st Fireside Ed edition (March 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684848147
• ISBN-13: 978-0684848143
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #265,859 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great book on an important and ever present aspect of the human condition...., February 2, 2007

By	Patrick D. Goonan "www.meaningful-life.us" (Pleasanton, CA) - See all my reviews (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

It's very difficult to imagine Judith Viorst writing a bad book. She is an excellent writer and gears her writing toward the existential crisis' of life, development, etc. As some reviewers suggest, she backs up what she say with a fair amount of references to psychological literature, but she is certainly credible and although the book doesn't read like a dime store novel, it's also very accessible to the average adult without any psychological training.

The dance between control and surrender is very difficult for most people and comes up in couples, the workplace and other areas of life. This is the main topic of the book and describes why this is so and how to work with it toward achieving peace of mind. Much of this work has to do with reframing the human condition and daily struggles we all face in a more realistic fashion. It's about finding the balance point between control and surrender moment-to-moment.

Some of the areas of particular interest to me were the chapters on taking possession of ourselves, who controls the couple, the power of sex, permanent parenthood and in control of death. This is all practical and serious stuff and often areas where people confront considerable pain. While this book or any book doesn't provide all of the answers on these difficult life questions in terms of surrender and control, it will give you powerful insights and more flexibility for dealing with them.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A lot of theory !, February 25, 2000

By	J. Hegerty "Ithreesons" (Worthington, Ohio USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles With Power And Surrender (Hardcover)

I saw Judith interviewed on Oprah and decided to read her book. I was finishing up my master's degree at that time and found it to have a lot of theories of control that went on and on. Her interview made the book seem more practical for info on control issues. If you are into theories and origination of how issues evolve, this is the book for you!

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a look, September 16, 2000

By	Ms Diva "cycworker" (Nanaimo, B.C. Canada) - See all my reviews

This book has very good summaries of psychological research on the issues of power and control. It would be a particularly helpful book for a student writing a paper in an undergraduate class. The book is not hard to read; I finished it in 2 days. I found her chapters on romantic relationships, parenting and work relationships helpful and gained insight into my own behaviour.