Being Single in a Couple's World: How to Be Happily Single While Looking for Love (Paperback)

by Xavier Amador (Author), Judith Kiersky (Author) "All my friend are getting married..." (more)
Key Phrases: marriage script, single loved one, alienation stage, Aunt Jody, Joel Rifkin (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Sometimes when you look around, it seems as if the entire world is coupled up. Family, friends, that cute twosome holding hands walking down the street, everyone is either married or in a serious, committed relationship. If you're not one of those people, the world can seem a lonely place. But why is that? Why can't a person be both single and happy?

Xavier Amador, coauthor of When Someone You Love Is Depressed, and Judith Kiersky attack this question in this clear and wonderfully written book. Using case studies and drawing on years of clinical work as psychologists and professors, the authors investigate the basis of both men and women's dissatisfaction as singles. Tracing the roots of the stigma of aloneness, they examine the obstacles that prevent singles from being content--everything from family and friends to fear and ambivalence. They then describe the four stages of being single, and finally, they give you the tools that will enable you to "be single in the present." Unlike other self-help books dealing with singledom, the goal of this book is not to get you married; it's to figure out why you're single and to help you gain balance and happiness as you are.

Whether you've never married or are divorced or widowed, whether you wish to remain single or to eventually have a meaningful relationship, this book will guide you in bypassing the "cultural scripts" that demand you need a mate to be fulfilled. The authors show that life can be great on your own. --Jenny Brown --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review
Terrence Real author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression Xavier Amador and Judith Kiersky have written a splendid and overdue book. Clear, direct, full of both penetrating analysis and useful advice, Being Single in a Couples' World reads like a road map to the soul of both marriage and singlehood. -- Review

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Free Press (April 20, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684852357
• ISBN-13: 978-0684852355
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #659,959 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Misnomer!, October 11, 1999

By A Customer

The title and subtitle of this book are misnomers; there is not alot about being "happily single" and alot (very repititiously) about changing your "internal script" to become more amenable to partnering. Not a bad hypothesis in itself, of course. If you are single and not happy about it then, by all means, read this book; it contains some valuable information about gaining insight on your situation. If you are, however, seeking support and guidance for finding joy and fulfillment as a single person look elsewhere.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Finally, a book that eliminates the guilt of singlehood, November 23, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Being Single in a Couples World: How to Be Happily Single While Looking for Love (Hardcover)

Pretty good book. Helps you get over the feeling that if you're single you're a freak. Gives guidance on how to get comfortable with singlehood, how to resist well-meaning but demeaning comments from parents and others who think the whole world should be married, and how to make decisions involving your status. Some of the case studies border on being a little tedious, but with hindsight, I see the purpose they fill. I'd recommend this book to any single adult.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Some good information but hard to get through...., February 21, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Being Single in a Couples World: How to Be Happily Single While Looking for Love (Hardcover)

I found this book difficult to read but it had some very good information that makes you stop and think. The most important point to me that was brought to light was in regards to blaming. The authors point out how singles blame...themselves, parents, men, women, etc...for their single status. Explaining how subtle and insidious this cycle of blame can be was very informative and helpful. Some of the replies that the authors tell you to use against some of the hurtful comments that singles get, were ridiculous to me. I sort of lost faith around that point in the book, but luckily that was toward the end. All in all, there are some valid points in this book and it is definately worth a look.