NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life (Paperback)

~ Monica Ramirez Basco (Author) "Susan had been working frantically for the last month trying to get her end-of-the-year books in order, keep the business running, and plan a New..." (more)
Key Phrases: Cognitive Continuum Exercise Number, Schema Exercise Number, Beating Oversimplification (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

* Do you feel that no matter how hard you try it is never good enough?
* Do you spend too much time trying to get things exactly right in order to avoid criticism?
* Does it seem that at any minute people will find out that you are not really what you seem to be?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with perfectionistic tendencies. They can serve a positive purpose in your life. But having extremely high standards for yourself and others can leave you feeling let down -- over and over again -- when these expectations aren't met. As psychologist and researcher Monica Ramirez Basco explains, uncontrolled perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, and broken marriages and friendships.

In Never Good Enough Dr. Basco helps you understand why you feel driven to get things "just right" and shows you how to make the best of your perfectionism. Filled with practical advice, encouragement, and strategies for self-discovery, this invaluable guide includes Dr. Basco's own thirty-question self-test that will help you recognize and manage the negative side of your perfectionism. You will learn how to stop the struggle with yourself and others, how to evaluate your worth and performance in life, and how to replace the pursuit of perfection with peace of mind.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Free Press; Touchstone ed edition (March 2, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 068486293X
• ISBN-13: 978-0684862934
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #92,721 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not as impressed as other reviewers, January 9, 2005

By	Paul L (California, USA) - See all my reviews

While it might have a catchy title, I don't think this book is intended for those who already know themselves to be perfectionists. Basco spends most of the text examining scenarios faced by four fictitious perfectionists. I didn't find this to be of any value because I know what perfectionists do and I'm perfectly (ha!) aware of the problems they face every day - I am one and that's why I bought the book in the first place!

Basco's overly-simplistic approach on how to deal with the problems this personality trait creates is clearly from someone who doesn't have a serious problem with the issue herself. It is surprising to me that she has 'treated' as many perfectionists as she claims. It surprises me because she merely scrapes the surface of the problems that perfectionism brings about, and to be quite frank she doesn't show herself to have as good of a handle on this topic as someone writing a book about it should. Did Basco do any real research on this prior to writing the book? Where's the bibliography? While sources are readily available, this book seems to be based on the author's conclusions alone.

If you don't know whether or not you're a perfectionist and you want to find out, then this might be the book for you. And if you're a student of psychology and you want to be able to identify perfectionism when you see it, this book might be of some value. I gave the book three stars because I think it might be somewhat useful under either of those two circumstances. However, if you already know you have a serious problem with perfectionism (as I do) and you're looking for real-world solutions, I think you will probably come away very disappointed with this book. Had I been judging this book for the latter quality alone I would have granted it a single star.

The same day I picked this book up I was fortunate to happen upon a book titled "Overcoming Procrastination" by Neil A. Fiore (ISBN 1-56731-556-9). You may find it under the title "The Now Habit", the name it went by prior to reprinting. Those suffering from serious problems with perfectionism also typically confront issues with procrastination. "Overcoming Procrastination" also deals with perfectionism directly and proposes a workable approach towards getting an upper-hand on it. While the last two or three chapters border on silly, the tools the rest of the book provides makes it very much worth reading. I have used them myself and they have helped me considerably.

In summary, to the true perfectionist I highly recommend passing over "Never Good Enough" and heading straight for "Overcoming Procrastination". Good luck!

33 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Making friends with your own perfectionism!, August 2, 2001

By	Ta-Wei Wang (Taiwan) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

There are dozens of books on perfectionism, but I think this one is the best. Research psychologists Hewitt & Flett (1991) have shown that perfectionism is not always liked with neurotism, instead there are three different types: self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed perfectionism. Dr. Basco catches up this latest trend and translates it into the readable language for lay persons, without losing scientific facts. The first chapter offers a wonderful self-diagnosing test. The second chapter compares the advantages and disadvantages of perfectionism. I think this is especially valuable. Traditional books on this topics use very strong words like ¡§Beat your perfectionism,¡¨ or ¡§Fight your perfectionism¡¨¡Ketc. Sometimes it feels even more depressed to learn that the part of yourself is so bad. Dr. Basco uses a more peaceful way to help you make friends with this part of yourself. Perfectionists are no longer blamed for themselves! The remaining chapters are some step-by-step guidelines to change the inner thoughts that lead to maladjusting perfectionism, which are mainly based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). At the professional level, being a mental health counselor, I wish I could find more about the etiology and origins of perfectionism, and the psychodynamic approach to treat this issue in this book. (Am I too perfectionistic??) But at the personal level, I gain a lot of insight about my own perfectionism and its effect on my work and relationships. That's why I give this book five stars!!

34 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Useful, September 23, 2001

By	Ms Diva "cycworker" (Nanaimo, B.C. Canada) - See all my reviews

I love this book. It helps the reader determine if they are a perfectionist, how this impacts their lives negatively, in what areas perfectionism is a problem, and gives ways to cope with perfectionism. The techniques to manage perfectionism are based on sound psychological theory. The author has a clear writing style and she uses alot of good quality illustrative examples. She makes the more theoretical material come alive and simplifies it without insulting the intelligence of the reader.

Some of the activities can be time consuming, but they are well worth it. In fact, the book will really not be as valuable if the reader is not willing to put the time and effort in to doing at least some of these activities. The book also contains ideas to help people who do not consider themselves perfectionists cope with the people in their lives who are perfectionistic. Well worth reading!!