The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work (Paperback)

~ (Author) "SCENARIO ONE Marian Steiner watched open-mouthed as John Martin came barreling through the room almost at a run, his face beet-red, his expensive jacket slung..." (more)
Key Phrases: Gentle Art, Paul Nelson, Computer Mode (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“... a crash course on just how powerful the English language is—and how easily it can be misconstrued.” -- Copley News Service, September 24, 2000

“Her genius is in separating what is meant…from the words that are actually spoken.” -- Dallas Morning News, Januray 23, 2000

“She interweaves lessons agreeably with examples that read like fiction.” -- American Way, February 2000

Product Description

Powerful techniques for combating verbal abuse on the job from the renowned author of the "Gentle Art" series -- with total sales surpassing one million copies. Obscenities, ethnic and sexist epithets, cutting jokes, subtle put-downs -- whether shouted, said with a smile, or sent via e-mail -- are all verbal abuse. For many, it is the everyday language of doing business. Suzette Haden Elgin, nationally recognized linguistics expert and author, applies her acclaimed techniques for combating verbal violence to common on-the-job situations. Forceful yet non-threatening, her proven strategies will empower workers of every level to recognize verbal abuse, gently defuse it, and replace it with courteous and effective communication.

Citing examples grabbed from the headlines, Dr. Elgin reveals the cost of demeaning and destructive language to any business. Step by step, she shows how to identify and conquer the verbal toxins at the root of workplace hostility and tension. Readers will learn how to avoid "malpractice of the mouth" and sexual harassment; communicate sensitively and clearly with non-native English speakers; come across as strong, straightforward, and truthful; and take complete control of any verbal confrontation--calmly. "Workout sections" throughout the book provide plenty of opportunities for practice.

With a look at communication skills crucial for e-mail, voice mail, and the Internet, as well as the special challenges facing home-based and virtual businesses, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense At Work is the definitive guide to effective and humane communication on the job.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 340 pages
• Publisher: Prentice Hall Press; 2nd edition (January 19, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0735200890
• ISBN-13: 978-0735200890
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #82,579 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Elgin, October 23, 2003

By	Joseph S. Maresca "Dr. Joseph S. Maresca CPA,... (Bronxville, New York USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This work provides a good development for constructive
argument aimed at management of confrontal modes. The author
describes classic behaviors; such as, the placater, the blamer,
the distracter and the leveler. There is a good section on
voice management which describes unifying metaphors and balanced
speech. The work describes practically every confrontation
imaginable with appropriate voice responses and body language.
This book will help you manage almost any type of confrontation

constructively. For this reason, it is well worth the price.

40 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful and useful book, July 22, 2000

By	"argrath" (Texas) - See all my reviews

I was on a curriculum development program on the real world for graduate students and we ended up specifying this book as one of the essential parts of the program. I've since specified other Elgin books as textbooks for graduate students and have never been disappointed.

This book does have a second edition which was reviewed positively by _The Alternative_, a dispute resolution publication out of Seton Hall Law School. Extremely accessible (meaning that *real* people can read this book and use it), with insights and information that many professionals do not have.

While her best selling book is now a little dated, and is written for a very basic audience (and is a classic in psych circles), this book is written to a more educated audience, without losing its message in jargon or technical language.

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Clear, practical and helpful., November 21, 2005

By	Susan W. Edwards (Southern Pines, NC United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The book was clear, practical and interesting reading. The approach was structured and logical with good examples of the different ways people use words to communicate and/or manipulate. The information on how word choices affect/influence other people, and how you can respond/compensate when the effect is directed against you were helpful and effective. One review I read felt the suggested responses were flippant and provocative. I did not agree with that viewpoint after reading the book. The responses the reviewer was referring to were directed at someone who was not truly concerned with the content of what they had said, but in the reaction they were trying to provoke. Ms. Elgin said the responses (basically to respond as if the comment had been positive rather than negative) took the fun out of what was a game to them; and I have found that to be true.

The only thing I found difficult were the exercises she gave to allow you to see how intuitively you do understand these things. I understood them when she explained, and when I read her examples; but I found I couldn't effectively apply the understanding to the exercises with any certainty. I'd have loved some answer pages somewhere! Another specific exercise she gave that I found difficult had to do with the sensory modes people use in communication. I had no difficulty understanding or identifying what was being used, but when given an opportunity to take a comment using touch sensory analogies and convert them to sight or hearing . . . I found it extremely difficult. Maybe my brain works differently than hers and many who reviewed the book! The information was clear, the implications were helpful, but applying the information for purposes of shaping the emotional atmosphere intentionally was difficult for me to work out.

I've shared alot of the content with various people and have found them as interested in the concepts as I was. I would recommend the book--especially to those who may not have spent large amounts of time studying interpersonal communication.