The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (3rd edition) (Paperback)

~ (Author), Ph.D., David Elkind (Author) "The concept of childhood..." (more)
Key Phrases: hurried children, school burnout, hurrying children, United States, Mental Age, Harry Potter (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

These two books offer excellent perspectives on children, parents, and culture. Psychologist Apter (The Confident Child) argues that we've been hanging on to an idea that's all wrong that when children finish high school or college and land a job, they instantly become autonomous, responsible adults. This "myth of maturity," insists Apter, is harming our kids. These "thresholders" (ages 18-24) appear to function as adults (whether in a job or in school), but in reality they are often in turmoil, depressed, and overwhelmed by life. Apter claims that though parents have been taught that they should end support (emotional, financial, and practical) so that their children can be independent and self-reliant, this is the wrong approach. Each chapter addresses a theme (job stress, finances, college, emotions) with stories of thresholders Apter has interviewed followed by her advice to both parents and thresholders on how to deal with the situation. Myth shatters many common notions we've held for several decades, e.g., it links eating disorders to separation anxiety and lays to rest the idea that the l8-24s are confident, happy, and sexually active beings. Like Elkind, Apter knows that kids grow up fast (that is, they leave childhood) but that they aren't "grown up" at all. Elkind's classic The Hurried Child dates from 1981 and was revised in 1988; now it appears in a third edition. The basic premise remains the same: parents have pushed their children emotionally and intellectually too far, too fast. Today's parents think of their kids as Superkids, so competent and so mature that they need adults very little. Why? Because parents, who are building careers, blending families, or struggling as single parents, have no time for child rearing. Having a competent Superkid relieves these parents of guilt, but it places too much stress on the children themselves. This new edition is fully revised, with new sections on peer-group parent pressure, i.e., the pressure parents feel to go along with the Superkid image out of fear that their own children will lag behind, and on organized sports, the Internet, and software for infants. Like Apter's title, this powerful book is essential reading. Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"[A] landmark book." -- Chicago Sun-Times, 04/19/06

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Product Details

• Paperback: 244 pages
• Publisher: Perseus Publishing; 3rd edition (April 10, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738204412
• ISBN-13: 978-0738204413
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #78,814 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

148 of 150 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative, April 15, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon (Revised edition) (Paperback)

"The Hurried Child"by David Elkind gives concrete examples of some of the emotional,intellectual and social consequences of hurrying a child's development by both parent and teachers. Children today are under an enormous amount of pressure to act, dress and assume adult roles and responsibilities. This hurrying causes stress in very young children as well as adolescents. I think the book addresses a lot of issues that have negative impact on all children. I learned a great deal about what constitutes hurrying in young children. The author brings forth the fact that hurrying takes place in both the home and school settings. Children are pushed to read earlier than they are developmentally ready; do math and behave in ways that most theorists like Erikson and Piaget have shown to be in direct conflict with children's cognitive and emotional development. The book was excellent in demonstrating the impact of outside influences such as T.V, movies,records and the media on children's development. The achievements and limitations of the major stages of development were long recognised by Piaget on cognitive development and by Erikson on emotional development. The book emphasized that when children's needs become subordinate to parental needs their emotional as well as cognitive growth is affected. I recommend that anyone who gets a chance to read this book does so, especially parents and educators of young children.

Agnes.

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good book; a little too easy on us parents!, April 9, 2003

By	Joan "joan2742" (Edgewater, MD USA) - See all my reviews

In The Hurried Child, Dr. Elkind does a competent job of describing a seriously problematic trend- the increasing inability and even unwillingness to appropriately "cushion" children from the modern world. The message is simple and eloquent: millions of children are simply not experiencing a proper childhood for a multitude of reasons. For some, it may be overcompetitive sports; for others, early sexuality or economic exploitation (children wielding more money and being strongly pursued as a consumer group). But regardless of form, hurrying leaves children trying to deal with adult concerns. While such kids may seem sophisticated, the deeper reality is that they are still children. This false maturation interferes with real maturation, and leads to problems in adolescence and adulthood.

Dr. Elkind gives this book more popular appeal by making his case gently- there are no "Dr. Laura" type challenges here. But if the reader will think through the implications of this book, it is clear that children are being "hurried" because parents aren't making the kinds of choices necessary for a fulfilling and protective family life. Instead, they pursue personal, material and status-oriented goods, very often to the detriment of the family. This is not because they don't care for their kids, but because our culture is so steeped in radical individualism and materialism that the very idea of what a family is supposed to be is lost. It is no surprise that the children suffer as a result, in terms of both emotional and character development.

I would propose a more profound solution than the "moderation" one to be found in this book. The cult of the individual needs to be overthrown. Parents should never make family-altering choices based solely on personal desires; the good of the children and the family unit as a whole should strongly influence what each member does. In addition, the excessive emphasis on "achieving independence" in childhood should be balanced with a recognition that all children need to be nurtured according to their stage of development. Children are not ready to be "individuals" in the adult sense of the term, which is why they are so easily influenced by peers, advertisers and celebrities. A strong, loving and non-hurrying family is a far more healthy source of influence than such factors. The more parents recognize and act upon these realities, the less kids will be "hurried", and the more they will be "trained up in the way they should go."

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Hurried Child by Elkind, February 4, 2004

By	Joseph S. Maresca "Dr. Joseph S. Maresca CPA,... (Bronxville, New York USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

The author cautions against rushing life for young people
and placing too many artificial pressures on them. These
pressures come in the form of standardized tests, overscheduling
and excessive concentration on child competence issues instead
of allowing young people to mature. Children are in essence
miniature adults. In addition, the author cautions against
assembly-line learning. Type A competitive children grow into
adults with more cholesterol in the blood than normal.
On international comparison tests, American students tend to
achieve lower scores despite all the pressure to do well.
Only 1/5 of 17 year olds can write a persuasive essay.
Clearly, the author has some important points to make.
The readers should heed this advice and apply it accordingly.
There is a need for balance in life. In this respect, the author
has some important points to teach college administrators and
parents. A wide constituency of educators needs to read this
book dispassionately and apply it for the benefit of students.