MotherStyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths (Paperback)

~ Janet Penley (Author), Diane Eble (Author) "THINK BACK TO A TIME, A MOMENT, AN INCIDENT, WHEN YOU FELT YOU WERE really on top of this mothering game..." (more)
Key Phrases: judging mom, judging mother, middle two letters, Family Affair (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to Penley, who self-published The M.O.M.S. Handbook, the key to making mothering easy and enjoyable is to become aware of ways of interacting in the world (e.g., being extroverted or introverted, sensing things based on facts or feeling them intuitively) and balance personal needs with external demands. Penley developed her "Mothers of Many Styles" (M.O.M.S.) program to free women of the image of the "perfect" mother and help them identify their strengths and weaknesses first as mothers, and then in all relationships. Based on the Myers-Briggs personality inventory, Penley's questionnaires and evaluations may aid some readers, but others may find the system—it involves 16 personality types and 16 corresponding mothering styles—complicated and time-consuming. Perhaps the most valuable aspect of Penley's program is her focus on self-care and her recognition of the unique gifts that each woman has to offer her children. However, trying to work with Penley's system on a daily basis could, ironically, add more stress and yet another layer to the image of perfection: the thoroughly self-aware mother who can respond appropriately to her child in all situations. (May 1)
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Review

"A genuinely new and creative way to look at how you are likely to react and behave as a parent." -- InfoDad.com, 05/25/06

"Fabulous...I highly recommend it!" -- Solutions for Busy Moms, 03/16/2006

"It may be the best book written on this subject and it could help your relationship with your daughter." -- Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 8/23/06

"Show[s] where your strengths--and, sure, weaknesses--lie. Their point is that there are all kinds of good moms." -- Chicago Tribune, 05/14/06

"Useful [and] recommended." -- Library Journal 4/25/06

"[A] practical, example-filled book…Affirming." -- Seattle Times, 6/3/06

Â"May be the best book written on this subject.Â" -- Washington Post, 8/18/06

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (April 3, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738210455
• ISBN-13: 978-0738210452
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 7.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #211,821 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every mother should have this book!, October 10, 2006

By	Sherill Hatch (Shutesbury, MA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Ever since before I conceived my daughter, I have devoured parenting books by the score. Only a few have passed the "purchase test." (I borrow everything I read from the library, then decide whether I'll reread it enough times to want to own it.) Motherstyles is different from anything else I've come across. After reading ONE PAGE I purchased it on the spot. A few more pages and I was already laughing and crying, feeling deeply affirmed as a mother and energized by the powerful truths this book contains. Since first reading it cover-to-cover in a couple of days, I have referred to it several times a week for my own parenting and to share its insights with friends.

Ms. Penley has used her deep understanding of personality type to show every mother why she shines in certain areas and struggles in others. Motherstyles solves an amazing number of mysteries about why different mothers, kids, and people in general operate differently, as well as shedding light on family dynamics. The book "justified" for me certain strong needs I have as a mother--such as why I need daily solitude for my very sanity, while for many of my mother friends, a little time alone is simply a luxury that they can postpone if need be. So I'm meeting my needs more consistently--without guilt. I have stopped comparing myself to other mothers, instead embracing my personal style as a gift to my child. And everyone in my family is happier!

Mothers in our society are in an strange bind: At our fingertips is an unprecedented amount of theoretical knowledge about all that children need in order to thrive. Yet on the practical level, ONE person, with her very human strengths and limitations, is expected to provide it all . . . while socially isolated, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by the rest of life's demands. It would be funny if it weren't so serious. This book goes farther than any other to lighten the load of that impossible burden, empowering mothers to claim their own uniqueness as a vital part of their children's thriving.

Motherstyles has changed my world. Since reading it, I've been imagining a world in which every mother had a copy of it. It would be a world in which every mother was doing her very best parenting, her unique kind of parenting--while having fun and feeling plenty of ease and joy! A world in which every mother approached her children, her partner, other mothers, and herself with warm and deep understanding. A world in which every mother felt free to be fully herself. And THAT would give children what they truly need. I urge mothers, their partners, educators, and everyone who works with mothers to buy Motherstyles and help change the world!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book!, December 8, 2006

By	H. Pulver (Wisconsin) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book was very helpful to me in understanding WHY I do things the way I do (for example, how I relate to my children). It also helped me to understand why my mom did/does things.

I was able to make a guess a my children's personality types (there is info in the book in how to do that) and found out that my daughter and I only share 1 letter out of 4 - no wonder I have a hard time understanding her! Taking our personality styles into account, I am better able to provide her with the emotional and physical attention that she wants and needs. I also try to focus on the strength we have in common and have been able to bond more easily.

I have loaned this book out three times already and have another person waiting - but I want to read it again first. I highly recommend it!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Tips for Applying Types to Parenting!, June 28, 2006

By	Elaine Lo - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I rarely bother to write reviews but this book deserved 5 stars! I have used the MBTI personality types effectively at work and there are great books on that for the workplace. That said, I have not found a better overall summary of conflict resolution for type differences than in this book. And of course its application of MBTI to mothering is unique. I found the recommendations helpful, concise and best of all not guilt-inducing! It was a refreshing and thoughtful read. I highly recommend it.