Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children (Paperback)

~ Joan Friedman (Author)
Key Phrases: twin mystique, time with each baby, two separate babies, Emotionally Healthy Twins, The Preschool Years, Two Young Adults (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"[A] wonderful resource.”—Staten Island Advance

“For anyone expecting or raising multiples, this book needs to be on their recommended reading list!...An important addition to the reading resources for anyone raising their multiples.”—MultipleBirthsFamilies.com

“[Friedman’s] tone is both authoritative and kind. This book is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand the complex psychological issues that twins and their parents face Armed with excellent strategies, Friedman shares her experience and knowledge to help parents combat their misguided impulses. This book gives me hope that life will be easier for the next generation of twins.”—California Society for Clinical Social Work’s “Clinical Update” newsletter

“Full of information and very handy and practical tips It is richly flavored with tips and tricks that are certainly very practical for the busy parents of twins...Friedman’s book makes a valuable and novel contribution to the twin parenting literature and is one that I will recommend to other parents of twin and indeed to parents of multiple singletons.”—Twin Research and Human Genetics

“Offers advice to frazzled parents.”—Brooklyn Daily Eagle

“A wonderfully enlightening book that brings raising twins into the 21st Century.”—Mad about Multiples blog

“Well worth a read…Thought-provoking.”—Twins, Triplets, and More, 8/08

“An excellent book.” —TwinsTalk.com, 8/27/08

“Will become the standard reference for parenting twins.”—TWINS, October 2008

“Will become the standard reference for parenting twins.”—Twins, July 2009
 

Product Description

A new parenting twins philosophy outlining the seven simple concepts to raising emotionally healthy individuals even while encouraging them to cherish their special sibling relationship.

Most parents try to treat their twins as individuals, but most unwittingly undermine their best intentions because they lack a practical set of guidelines for raising emotionally healthy multiples.

Drawing on her unique experience as a twin, the mother of twins, and as a psychotherapist, Dr. Joan A. Friedman outlines the seven key concepts for helping twins develop into self-realized, unique individuals and offers parents specific strategies for each stage in their children's growth. From how to set up the nursery to handling playdates and extracurricular activities, from deciding on same or separate classroom education to encouraging grandparents and other family members to think beyond the pair to see individuals, Emotionally Healthy Twins will become the standard reference for parenting twins.

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Product Details Paperback: 256 pages Publisher: Da Capo Press (February 11, 2008) Language: English ISBN-10: 0738210870 ISBN-13: 978-0738210872 Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches Shipping Weight: 8 ounces Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews) Amazon.com Sales Rank: #124,350 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books) Popular in these categories: (What's this?) #19 in  Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Twins & Multiples #51 in  Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Siblings

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More About the Author

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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

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Inside This Book (learn more)

Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
twin mystique, time with each baby, two separate babies, separate birthday parties, healthy twins, single stroller, parenting twins, two new babies, twin relationship

Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Emotionally Healthy Twins, The Preschool Years, Two Young Adults, Elementary School Kids, Parents-of-Twins Journal, Hello Kitty, New York Times, Two Unique Children

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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!

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What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

	75% buy the item featured on this page: Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children 4.8 out of 5 stars (21)
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Customer Reviews

21 Reviews 5 star:  (18) 4 star:  (2) 3 star:    (0) 2 star:  (1) 1 star:    (0)           Average Customer Review 4.8 out of 5 stars (21 customer reviews)		Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews 10 of 10 people found the following review helpful: 4.0 out of 5 stars informative but a little much at times, April 22, 2008 By  Twinmama (Mississippi) - See all my reviews I like, and agree with, a lot of what the author says, especially the individual identities approach. Although my twin boys are fraternal and don't look at all alike, we have still worked hard to keep them from thinking of themselves as "the twins" rather than each boy as his own person. So she had me at hello, in a way. I think hers is the best, most well-reasoned out argument for putting twins in separate classrooms that I've come across. I'm intrigued by the suggestion of giving each twin his own birthday party (although I am thinking, for budget reasons, in our house maybe we'll just start out with each twin getting his own birthday cake). That said, I can't get completely behind this approach. I can understand wanting the twins to be their own identities beyond "the twins," but at the same time, the twin thing is a very special connection and I really am reluctant to do anything to break that connection. I'm certainly not going to stop buying them matching (or slightly different -- same shirt in different colors) clothing to underline their individual identities. Believe me, if my children didn't want to wear matching clothes, they wouldn't! But they enjoy dressing alike...for now, anyway. When they're not so into it as they grow up, I'll stop buying them matching clothes. But in the meantime, I really don't see how it hurts them. 4 of 4 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Friedman Brings Raising Twins into the 21st Century, May 1, 2008 By  Cheryl M. Wenzel "http://newmomcentral.blogsp... (San Jose, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)    Ms. Friedman has written a wonderfully enlightening book that brings raising twins into the 21st Century. She is an identical twin herself, as well as a mother of twins. In addition, she specializes in the treatment of twin-related issues in her practice as a psychotherapist. These experiences have given her a unique perspective on the needs of twins that she has developed into what she calls a new "parenting of twins philosophy." According to Friedman, a lack of psychological boundaries between twins can lead to confused roles and cause problems once they attend school and begin to make friends. She encourages a new perspective of twins, one that views them as two individuals who happen to have been conceived and born at the same time. Along this theme, she advocates the separation of twins as a way to help them develop their own unique identities. As a mother of 3-year-old twins, I am all too aware of the debate and controversy surrounding the issue of when, or even if, to separate twins from each other, whether it's putting them in different cribs, different rooms, or different classes at school. Ms. Friedman provides a depth of understanding of this issue that brings it to a whole new level and introduces many new ideas that had me re-thinking how I both parent and perceive my twins. I thank Ms. Friedman for her valuable insight and experience into the psychological world of twins and will take her suggestions to heart as I try to navigate the sometimes complex world of twins. 3 of 3 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Meeting the Challenges of Twins, June 1, 2008 By  Miriam Harris "psychologist - Ph.D." (Santa Monica, California) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)    "Raising Emotionally Healthy Twins" fills the space earlier reserved exclusively for Dr. Spock, except that it defines the understanding necessary to cope with the thrills, worries and trials attached to a 'two fer.' Dr. Friedman has written what I deem to be the ultimate guide to the healthy development of twins - one that speaks from the heart as well as the mind. This is a book which needs to be read by every twin parent. Miriam Harris, Ph.D.		Ad feedback   Most Recent Customer Reviews 5.0 out of 5 stars A Unique Book about Unique People One of the best ways to describe this book is to describe what it is not - this is not a medical book, a "what to expect" book, nor a tips-and-trips book. Read more Published 1 month ago by Amjra 5.0 out of 5 stars This book totally changed my thinking for the better! I only wish I'd found this book sooner -- it's the one book that's had the greatest positive impact on how I think about raising my identical twin toddler boys. Dr. Read more Published 4 months ago by flowered-up 5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent- a must have for parenting twins!! All the information is really useful about parenting twins. My twins are now 19 months old, and I just wish we were aware of this book before. Read more Published 8 months ago by P. Silva 2.0 out of 5 stars Let Me Tell you How Great I Am I did not like this book at all. It is basically a mother telling you how healthy her multiples are and what she did to result in this. I wonder if I can live up to her standards! Published 8 months ago by Sally Roman 5.0 out of 5 stars On Raising Twins This is a wonderful book for any parent of twins! Great resource and full of great parenting advice. Emotionally Healthy Twins can teach a parent of a singleton some stuff too! Published 9 months ago by J. Lavanish 5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutley loved by Tonia Tomlin, Author of Chaos 2 Calm Wow, this book has been so helpful raising my twin girls. Each has a completely different personality with only a few similarities. Read more Published 10 months ago by Sorted Out 4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting ideas, more for identical twin families. Gives good food for thought on raising twins. I think it's more for identical twin pairs and how to make them feel like individuals. Published 14 months ago by H. Lewis 5.0 out of 5 stars Addresses the Unique Challenges Faced by Parents of Twins In my book, "It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence," I stress the importance of promoting individuality in twin children. Read more Published 14 months ago by Susan M. Heim 5.0 out of 5 stars A very readable, useful book on relating to twins. Dr. Joan Friedman's book on relating to Emotionally Healthy Twins is a winner. She lays out her book in an easy to read style and an easy to reference style. Read more Published 17 months ago by Michele E. Scott 5.0 out of 5 stars A diamond in the rough Joan Friedman's book is very intelligent and insightful. She writes from a perspective that has not yet been explored. Read more Published 17 months ago by Hank Wyler Search Customer Reviews Only search this product's reviews

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Customer Discussions

This product's forum Discussion Replies Latest Post Too much emphasis on individuality with mulitples. 0 January 2008 › See all discussions...   [Start the discussion] Start a new discussion Topic: First post: Receive e-mail when new posts are made Prompts for sign-in   Guidelines Active discussions in related forums Discussion Replies Latest Post health How the Swine Flu Vaccine Will Become Mandatory and Why Most Citizens Will Take It. 298 44 minutes ago parenting Spanking your children should be ILLEGAL. 719 50 minutes ago health Why do cyclists more often go through red lights, and break numerous other road rules? 43 57 minutes ago health Male circumcision. 4627 1 hour ago parenting Threatening To Leave Children In Public Places 34 2 hours ago parenting Breastfeeding... in public! 304 3 hours ago twins Looking for the best double stroller... 3 4 days ago child development MY 3 YEAR OLD IS HUMMING NON-STOP WHY?!?!? 4 17 days ago Search Customer Discussions Only search this product's forum

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (February 11, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738210870
• ISBN-13: 978-0738210872
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #124,350 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #19 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Twins & Multiples
  #51 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Siblings

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars informative but a little much at times, April 22, 2008

By	Twinmama (Mississippi) - See all my reviews

I like, and agree with, a lot of what the author says, especially the individual identities approach. Although my twin boys are fraternal and don't look at all alike, we have still worked hard to keep them from thinking of themselves as "the twins" rather than each boy as his own person. So she had me at hello, in a way.

I think hers is the best, most well-reasoned out argument for putting twins in separate classrooms that I've come across. I'm intrigued by the suggestion of giving each twin his own birthday party (although I am thinking, for budget reasons, in our house maybe we'll just start out with each twin getting his own birthday cake).

That said, I can't get completely behind this approach. I can understand wanting the twins to be their own identities beyond "the twins," but at the same time, the twin thing is a very special connection and I really am reluctant to do anything to break that connection. I'm certainly not going to stop buying them matching (or slightly different -- same shirt in different colors) clothing to underline their individual identities. Believe me, if my children didn't want to wear matching clothes, they wouldn't! But they enjoy dressing alike...for now, anyway. When they're not so into it as they grow up, I'll stop buying them matching clothes. But in the meantime, I really don't see how it hurts them.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Friedman Brings Raising Twins into the 21st Century, May 1, 2008

By	Cheryl M. Wenzel "http://newmomcentral.blogsp... (San Jose, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Ms. Friedman has written a wonderfully enlightening book that brings raising twins into the 21st Century. She is an identical twin herself, as well as a mother of twins. In addition, she specializes in the treatment of twin-related issues in her practice as a psychotherapist. These experiences have given her a unique perspective on the needs of twins that she has developed into what she calls a new "parenting of twins philosophy."

According to Friedman, a lack of psychological boundaries between twins can lead to confused roles and cause problems once they attend school and begin to make friends. She encourages a new perspective of twins, one that views them as two individuals who happen to have been conceived and born at the same time. Along this theme, she advocates the separation of twins as a way to help them develop their own unique identities.

As a mother of 3-year-old twins, I am all too aware of the debate and controversy surrounding the issue of when, or even if, to separate twins from each other, whether it's putting them in different cribs, different rooms, or different classes at school. Ms. Friedman provides a depth of understanding of this issue that brings it to a whole new level and introduces many new ideas that had me re-thinking how I both parent and perceive my twins.

I thank Ms. Friedman for her valuable insight and experience into the psychological world of twins and will take her suggestions to heart as I try to navigate the sometimes complex world of twins.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Meeting the Challenges of Twins, June 1, 2008

By	Miriam Harris "psychologist - Ph.D." (Santa Monica, California) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

"Raising Emotionally Healthy Twins" fills the space earlier reserved exclusively for Dr. Spock, except that
it defines the understanding necessary to cope with the thrills, worries and trials attached to a 'two fer.'
Dr. Friedman has written what I deem to be the ultimate guide to the healthy development of twins - one that speaks from the heart as well as the mind. This is a book which needs to be read by every twin parent.

Miriam Harris, Ph.D.