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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Fitting the garden hose to your car's exhaust could be tough, December 20, 2000
YOU ARE WORTHLESS is one of those bathroom readers that one gives or receives as a gag gift. That's how I got my copy ... from an ex-boss. (Hmmm... at least I think it was a gag gift.)The book's hypothesis, made with one-liners and short observations, is that you and your life are essentially worthless and meaningless from the points of view of your friends, co-workers, boss, lovers, children, pets, and God. I guess one would have to be careful to whom to give this volume as a present. If the recipient was already suicidal, or maybe just enduring a 50th birthday, it might be enough to push him or her over the edge ... literally. Some of the passages are particularly warm and fuzzy: "Killing yourself would be a good idea. The only problem is that you don't have the guts" "The bus driver would just as soon slit your throat as give you a ride." "Next time you have sex, fixate on just how horribly unattractive your body is." "You hate your job. And it's safe to say that no one at your job is particularly fond of you either." "When you pray, no one is listening. Furthermore, you look ridiculous." And my personal favorite, because I have a pet cat, Trouble, that I regard as my good buddy: "That special bond you think you have with your pet is imaginary. As long as it has food and water, you could get hit by a train tomorrow, and your pet wouldn't think anything of it." I'm enormously lucky in that I have a healthy level of self-esteem. Otherwise, I think I might close this book and go looking for a garden hose to attach to my car's exhaust pipe.
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