The Government Manual for New Wizards (Paperback)

~ Matthew David Brozik (Author), Jacob Sager Weinstein (Author) "Every young wizard goes through a trying but rewarding stage of life known as wizardolescence..." (more)
Key Phrases: Wizards Prison

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.

Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or "sneakers"), and other otherworldly accoutrements-it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority.

This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as:

" A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it-provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all.

" When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does.

The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.

About the Author

Jacob Sager Weinstein lives in a magical land across the waves, populated by strange creatures such as "bobbies" and "solicitors." His work has appeared in the Onion. He is a former staff writer for Dennis Miller Live and a current staff wielder for the forces of good.

Matthew David Brozik sports a scar on his forehead that is the result of an unenchanted childhood accident involving no black magic whatsoever. His short fiction has appeared in such publications as the Sycamore Review, Spout magazine, Sidewalks, Barbaric Yawp, and the Dogwood Journal. He lives in New York.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing (May 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0740757326
• ISBN-13: 978-0740757327
• Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #342,752 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Genius, September 17, 2006

By	Wizard Mofo "Mofo" (USA) - See all my reviews

The authors of this book have done it again...TGMFN Superheroes and Wizards are both very entertaining books, well written. I recommend BOTH books to any person interested in these topics. Especially those Harry Potter fans out there...if you like any topic related to Wizards you'll enjoy this book. The authors are obviously very creative and talented people.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazingly funny., June 2, 2006

By	princess Meep (Vermont, USA) - See all my reviews

I don't usually do comedy, it isn't usually my thing, and most "funny" books grow old after awhile - but not this one! I was smiling the whole time I was reading it, and by the end, I was laughing so hard I was crying - literally! I cannot recommend this book enough for any fantasy and/or humor fan.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Weinstein-Brozik duo are at it again!, September 13, 2006

By	Aaron M. Vehling "aaronvehling" (Minneapolis, MN, USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

If you loved "Superheroes" then you will be equally infatuated with "Wizards." What would take 7 years at Hogwarts will only take a few hours with the Wizards manual. You'll be casting spells and triggering mass-lynchings and protests from the Christian Right in no time!

Oh, and it's really really funny, too.