Check Your Pride at the Door: Learning to Live With inflammatory Bowel Disease (Paperback)

by Dr. Darryl D. Helems (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Check Your Pride at the Door and learn how to live with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). After you have read the research, experienced the medical procedures, changed your diet, or started taking the medication, the reality is that you still have to live each day with a chronic illness. In Check Your Pride at the Door, the author describes how he has lived with IBD for twenty years and provides recommendations for the development of life-management strategies that can assist in learning how to successfully live with IBD. The illness is real. The story is personal. The strategies work.

About the Author
Darryl D. Helems was diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) at the age of 17 and has lived with this disease for twenty years. He is employed full-time as a school psychologist in public schools and is an adjunct professor for Virginia Tech and Mary Baldwin College. He received his Ph.D. in counselor education from Virginia Tech and his Ed.S. in school psychology from James Madison University. Dr. Helems resides in Virginia with his wife and their two sons.

Product Details

• Paperback: 98 pages
• Publisher: Infinity Publishing (September 22, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0741435039
• ISBN-13: 978-0741435033
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,048,679 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book for Sufferers of IBD That Is Long Overdue, October 20, 2006

By	Bettie Corbin Tucker (PA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

As a long-time publisher, author, and book-reviewer, I found Check Your Pride at the Door to be particularly interesting and a valuable resource. Why? Because in addition to my above titles, I need to add, for the purpose of this review, "a person who suffers from inflammatory bowel disease." I have a rather rare form of this disease--it is called eosinophilic colitis, a type of colitis that has given me problems all of my life. I can relate to much of what the author discusses in this book as will the other 1.4 million Americans who are estimated to be suffering from IBD. According to Dr. Helems' research, approximately 30,000 new cases are diagnosed each year, with adolescents and young adults between the ages of 15 and 35 being the most susceptible.

I have done a large amount of research and purchased many books on IBD, trying to learn as much as possible so that I could be knowledgeable when talking with my physician. However, not long ago I was communicating online with another sufferer of IBD via instant messenger and stated that I wished someone would write a book that covered the emotional aspects of this disease--what it does to the person battling it as well as to family members. This is exactly what Darryl Helems has done in writing Check Your Pride at the Door because he recognized that even though there are extensive writings on the various medical descriptions, definitions, and treatment options in regard to IBD, the personal impact that this disease has upon individuals--both physically and emotionally--has not been properly addressed. This book is the story of his experiences with ulcerative colitis and, undoubtedly, will help those who are trying to cope with various forms of IBD; it is also a resource that the newly diagnosed will find to be invaluable.

One reason I can truly endorse this book is because it is written for the everyday person--in simplistic language that readers don't have to work at just to understand. When the author describes the intensity of his pain, his hospital stays, his surgeries, his flare-ups, and his times of remission, fellow sufferers will be able to relate...sometimes crying and other times applauding. But, in my opinion, it is the pride issue that will help others the most--especially those who are just starting on this journey. For twenty years the author had to deal with his pride as he went from high school to college, from college into the world of the employed, and from being single to becoming a husband and the father of two sons. Readers are able to see him mature as he goes from denying the severity of the disease to being more open and honest with others about his condition. He is blessed to have a Christian wife who supports him totally...putting to the test those marriage vows in which she said, "in sickness and in health." Sadly, I know of many individuals with IBD whose spouses have been unable to do this, and the marriage did not survive.

Admittedly, I found myself upset with the author--especially in his younger days--when he would be so insistent on living a normal life that he would not take care of himself as far as diet, medication, taking sitz baths, and trying to reduce his stress level. However, when you are young, athletic, and determined to keep up with your peers, it is understandable. Many times he learned the hard way that neglecting to do these things cost him dearly in terms of pain and hospitalizations. But I know from personal experience that when you are in remission, it is so great to feel normal that you want to act normal and, somehow, you often succeed in convincing yourself that you are cured--that there won't be any more flare-ups. But, as yet, there is no cure for IBD.

Individuals with this disease quickly learn to check their pride at the door after spending a short time in the hospital and having an untold number of nurses and doctors look at the private areas of their anatomy. The tests become routine; however, the fear of being out somewhere and not making it to the bathroom in time is always in the back of their minds. Dr. Helems--a psychologist--describes how dating was a problem for him, especially during a flare-up. He was afraid of intimacy and all of the unpleasant things that go with this disease such as nausea, horrible cramps, gurgling intestinal sounds, and uncontrollable bowel movements. The first thing I do when my husband and I go anywhere is find out where the bathroom is located. Only then can I be somewhat comfortable in my surroundings. But, in all honesty, I prefer staying home, especially when in the middle of a bad flare-up.

The author discusses the importance of having proper support. He mentions spouses, parents, siblings, the church, friends, physicians, and support groups. He also talks about how people with this disease can now connect via the Internet--one of my greatest resources for support. Dr. Helems also presents interesting advice on techniques and strategies that help sufferers cope with the increased stress during flare-ups of this chronic disease. This is one of my favorite chapters, and I plan to put the information to good use.

This book, though small, is very powerful and is a MUST READ, not only for those who have IBD, but also for the families and friends of these individuals. Remember that it isn't a book written by a professional for professionals; it is a book written by a fellow sufferer who knows the emotional and physical devastation of this disease and wants to reach out to others who are hurting.

An Independent Professional Book Reviewer

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Jewel For the Suffering!, October 14, 2006

By	Shirley Priscilla Johnson "Author/Reviewer -... (USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

When I was asked to review this work I was quite interested as I have several friends who are dealing with the medical problem that this book addresses, IBD-inflammatory bowel disease. Our author Darryl Helems takes you on the journey of his life bringing you to the point when he felt his first symptoms of this disorder to the present, and his battle with the same.
I have to tell you; I never realized how serious this condition could become, nor the torment that those suffering from it experience. Not only with the disease itself but often with the treatment. Our author does an outstanding job in touching the emotional side along with the medical of this condition allowing you to realize the life of an IBD person. I will tell you this; I definitely will have more compassion on those who are suffering from IBD and understand the courage it takes for them to face and live each day with an often embarrassing misunderstood condition.
If you, or someone you love is suffering with IBD this book will be a jewel for you and for them; and for those of you who are fortunate enough to never have had this touch your lives you would do well to read this work to understand just how fortunate you are. Hats off to Darryl D. Helems, who had the courage to discuss some hard phases of this disease and also offers some great tips to help you along the way. Good job!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful personal perspective about living with IBD that is honest and sincere, October 29, 2006

By	Jeffrey D. Roberts "Founder, Irritable Bowel ... (Toronto, ON CANADA) - See all my reviews

Darryl Helems's personal story about being diagnosed and treated for IBD is a gem. Darryl explains from the beginning that he is not going to delve into medical jargon or the latest treatments. He suggests surfing the internet for that. Rather he provides a very personal from the heart recount of the everyday emotional and practical implications of living with this disease. Check Your Pride at the Door refers to those potentially embarrassing moments such as when he was 17, now 37, and was helped when administering an enema. Moments of tenderness are spread throughout this short easy read book such that if you suffer from any type of GI illness you will easily relate to Darryl's story. I'll be recommending this book to the many young people who approach me for advice.