The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have: The Hyde School Program for Character-Based Education and Parenting (Paperback)

~ (Author), Malcolm Gauld (Author), Marc Brown (Introduction)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In this results-driven era of over-zealous soccer parents and SAT boot camps for kids, The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have offers parents and teachers a fresh and compelling message: a child's character is more important than his or her achievements. The authors are a teacher at and the CEO of the Hyde Schools, a group of private schools dedicated to character development and family growth. The Gaulds leverage their experiences to create a wise and workable manual for balancing character, achievement, and purpose in family life.

The book sharply contrasts "achievement culture" with "character culture" by providing 10 priorities for the development of a child's moral fiber. These include valuing "truth over harmony," "attitude over aptitude," and "principles over rules." Each priority is explored via crisp commentary, vivid stories from Hyde parents and students, family exercises, activities, and journaling assignments. One chapter describes ways for parents to explore their attraction to the achievement bias of our culture. This is a practical and persuasive book--one that will convince readers of the authors' credo: "Character is inspired, it is not imparted." --Barbara Mackoff --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

The formation of character is an elusive thing; despite concerned parenting, good schools and all the best intentions, parents worry about everything from insubordination and bad grades to hard drugs. According to the Gaulds (authors, teachers and alternative education proponents), the "biggest job we'll ever have" is developing positive habits of mind and behavior in our young. According to these authors, it is hard, it is doable and it is never too late to achieve "exceptional parenting." This how-to book offers 10 commonsense principles of character education, enlivening them with anecdotes gathered from thousands of parents and children, as well as with their own family stories. The authors accompany each rule with family exercises and activities, some of which seem contrived (e.g., writing down strengths and weaknesses; keeping a log of "mandatory fun activities"). The authors are relentlessly upbeat all the stories here are triumphs, implying that if parents simply apply the Gaulds' formula, they will achieve "personal and family excellence." This book falls into the camp that claims that the problems of society are with individuals, mostly due to flawed parenting. Hence, solutions lie in "fixing" the individuals and their families. What's missing from this perspective (and from this book) is an analysis of the social, economic and cultural factors that may cause the alienation, boredom, underachievement and family dysfunction that constitute "poor character." Scholars and educators hoping for an in-depth understanding of the complex dimensions of character education will not find it here, although families seeking a self-help boost and some informed coaching may find useful tips.

Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Scribner (July 22, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 074321059X
• ISBN-13: 978-0743210591
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #341,682 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Practical character first based parenting, April 21, 2002

By	Roy Gordon (Berkeley, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have: The Hyde School Program for Character-Based Education and Parenting (Hardcover)

First, let me say right off that my younger son attends the Hyde School in Bath, ME. Second, let me state that I could not be more satisfied with the school: how it has helped him and how it has helped me and the other members of my family. I hoped for and expected the former; the latter came as a complete surprise and I am still somewhat amazed (and bemused). But it is part and parcel of the Hyde philosphy and approach. My experience is certainly not unique.

The book was much better than I had expected. It describes the basics of a 'character first' approach to bringing up kids. It is the philosophy used in Hyde's character first approach to education.

The basic philosophy: build character, expect excellence, and the rest will follow. And, the entire family is the unit involved. (Please remember, this is a true nutshell description.)

Academic achievement (or lack thereof) is NOT a criterion of admission to the Hyde schools. Yet, an astounding 97 or 98% of the graduating seniors receive four year college acceptance!

And, from personal experience I can tell you that they walk the walk at Hyde. I've seen it. More than once. So, this is not a book of academic, head-in-the-clouds theorizing about what "should" be done. It is a book grounded in many, many years of actual practice and experience, not only to the students but to the staffs' own children.

The "reader from California" who stated "this school is for kids with substance abuse issues": Well, my son did not and does not have such issues, and a school whose main purpose was to serve such a population would NOT have been appropriate for him. At all. Similarly for most of the students at Hyde. The drug/substance program at Hyde is run independently of the school and is an additional expense payable to that program and not to Hyde. It is only chosen by a minority of parents. Hyde is not, in general, (in my opinion) the proper option for students requiring significant drug intervention such as a 24x7 environment.

In addition, a surprising number of parents send their younger children to Hyde after seeing the success of their older child at the school. I also wonder on what that reviewer based their statement that the Hyde approach can cause "more harm than good" with 'normal' kids.

As for the _Publishers Weekly_ reviewer who criticized the book for not providing an analysis of the "social, economic, and cultural factors that cause the alienation, boredom, underachievement, and family dysfunction", this is pretty ludicrous. I mean, why didn't they also criticize the authors for not solving the problem of world peace?

This is a book on practical parenting. Parents must parent now. Parents can't wait for the Correct Analysis of All the Ills of Society and How It Affects Our Children to issue forth. As if it ever could or will.

I would also recommend _Character First: The Hyde School Difference_ by Joe Gauld, founder of the Hyde schools. I prefer it even more, partly because of its description of his own personal journey of feeling compelled to leave his highly successful career in private schools to begin a 'character first' base school. It's out of print but available used at Amazon. However, its emphasis is not as much into the nuts and bolts.

4 stars but that's saying a lot for me as most other parenting and self-help books get consigned to my "gag me with a spoon" pile. This book is definitely for real and high on my scale. As I said, they walk the walk.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Book Review, not School Review, August 23, 2006

By	Jeffrey I. Gordon "Negotiator" (Raleigh, NC) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

My disclaimer is that I'm a former Hyde Student, one who was not happy while being there but also one who has the benefit of 20 years' hindsight.

I purchased the book a few days ago as I was interested to learn more of the philosophy behind the teaching I experienced first hand. I was curious to understand why I did not like my Hyde experience and what has happened in the intervening years to make me come to understand that I needed character education in my life at that time (and now, too).

While I don't have children of my own, I read the book with fervor and interest as I saw MY childhood and MY parents mirrored in its pages. Flashbacks to various interactions was common - and I had a series of intense emotional responses at times while I read things that hit so close to home I would've sworn that they were writing about my life. The book very clearly lays out the priorities which would've made my childhood more productive (in my humble opinion) and I look forward to being able to put these priorities into practice with my children.

As the title of this review states, I think it's very important to remember that this is a book on parenting. It's a spurious argument to say that if Hyde doesn't practice what they preach 24/7, that the book is inaccurate or that the authors are disingenuous. Living up to these priorities is hard work - and no one is going to be perfect at it, not even Hyde. In fact, the authors clearly detail their DAILY struggle with living up to these priorities in their own personal lives, not to mention helping others do it, too.

Regardless of whether this book is used to market the Hyde programs, whether Hyde is appropriate for you, and whether you've had a good Hyde School experience, the message of the book remains true. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in having a relationship with another human being, not just with their children/parents.

18 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Biggest Job Well Ever Have by Laura and Malcolm Gauld, March 3, 2002

By	Richard Stern, MD (Berkeley, CA, United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have: The Hyde School Program for Character-Based Education and Parenting (Hardcover)

This is a fantastic book that focuses on the importance of character development in our children, and it provides an outline of how to achieve it. The book is well written and easy to understand. Suggestions for "homework" at the end of many chapters are highly effective and provide a mechanism to start using the tools that are introduced in the book. Not only has Hyde provided our son the tools to work toward his unique potential; as parents of a Hyde student, the lives of my wife and myself, our relationship, and our relationship with our other children, have been enriched by our efforts to follow these guidelines. In a society where cheating, dishonesty, and self-destructive behavior are all too common, this book is a must read for all educators, all teachers, all parents, and even couples without children! Having read the book, I am now buying copies for all of my friends.