It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success (Paperback)

~ Richard Lavoie (Author), Michele Reiner (Preface), Rob Reiner (Preface), Mel Levine (Foreword)
Key Phrases: hidden curriculum, keeping friends, appropriate social skills, New York, Attention Deficit Disorder, Language Difficulties (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"Life without friends is a lonely and barren existence," but that's a common fate for children who fail to develop proper social skills, writes veteran special education teacher Lavoie in his insightful guidebook to helping children with learning disabilities overcome social skill deficits. Eschewing sink-or-swim and carrot-and-stick approaches, Lavoie stresses communication and patience for parents looking to guide their children through the maze of social interactions encountered daily, from arranging successful play dates and navigating the hidden curriculum of school, to language difficulties, social anxieties and family issues. Lavoie, who has taught and worked in the special education field for over 30 years, shows how to detect learning disabilities, discusses their impact on a child's social development and provides strategies (most notably his "Social Skill Autopsy") for implementing behavior change. Organized by the different types of social skills-those commonly used at home, at school and in the community-Lavoie's text is refreshingly free of jargon and is suitable for both spot- and cover-to-cover reading. Though aimed at parents of learning disabled children, this comprehensive guide will be handy for any parent whose child has trouble socializing at school or home.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Some learning challenged students are gifted socially, while others painfully struggle. Rick Lavoie's new book is a wonderful resource for parents and professionals alike who seek to guide those in need through their social and emotional hurdles."

-- Barbara Wilson, M.S. Ed., director, Wilson Language Training --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone (October 3, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743254651
• ISBN-13: 978-0743254656
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #96,974 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #31 in	Books > Nonfiction > Education > Special Education > Socially Handicapped
  #37 in	Books > Nonfiction > Education > Special Education > Behavioral Disorders
  #63 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Special Needs > Disabilities

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely Useful, November 28, 2005

By	Valerie L. Mcenroe "mcenroe1" (Mason, OH United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success (Hardcover)

My son is not ADHD or LD, but he does have problems with social situations, organizational skills, short attention span, etc. This book addresses a lot of those things. A good portion of the book does not apply to my son because academically he is ahead of his peers and this book assumes that kids with social deficiencies also suffer academically. There are several chapters devoted to specific LDs which I skipped. This book helped me to be more understanding of children with attention problems because there are neurological reasons that make it very difficult for them to make socially acceptable decisions and remain focused on tasks. In the beginning there is a long list of behaviors that these children have and so many of them described my son.

One part that I found very useful was the part in the introduction that explains why punishment does not correct poor behavior patterns. It will stop it for that episode, but not have lasting results. Also you should not say, for example, "If you behave in the restaurant then you can get dessert." Not getting dessert would be punishment. The child will be resentful and probably act the same way at the next restaurant. You should explain the expectation beforehand and then if the child behaves you would say, "You have been so good that I think you deserve some dessert." The child will feel a since of accomplishment which leads to them wanting to behave better.

Also in the introduction is a 5 step approach of how to analyze with your child a social problem he encountered to help him figure out on his own what he did wrong and what he should have done.

Another part that was extremely useful was the chapter on having friends over for visits and house "rules" you get your child in the habit of following so your child becomes a good host.

All in all this is one of the best books I have read on helping children cope with attention and social problems.

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book!, June 18, 2006

By	zhivago (Nashua, NH USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success (Hardcover)

Writing as someone who has lived with learning disabilities for nearly 50 years now, I cannot say strongly enough that I sincerely wish all of my teachers and parents had read this book. I will go a little further than that---I wish the pastoral counselor, psychologist, and psychiatrists that I have dealt with as an adult would read this book.

This book brought back memory after memory of times that I have been misunderstood (and rejected) by those around me, and also times that I have greatly misunderstood social and job-related incidents (and acted inappropriately as a result). Some of the long-lasting psychological damage that I have had as a result could have been alieviated if only those around me had been aware of the difficulties that I was having (and continue to have).

Notice that I did not say that the misunderstandings and social errors I make would have stopped. I don't think they would have.
The book does not offer any cure-alls. Its biggest contribution is to increase the understanding of the social ramifications of learning disabilities. I have found that very few normal people have any understanding of this at all; and their response can be quite damaging.

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fills a huge void! , September 25, 2005

By	L. Litzinger (Austin, TX USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success (Hardcover)

Although there is often a social gap between children with disabilities and their peers, Lavoie thankfully gives parents the necessary skills to remedy this.

This book is also important to parents of children with physical disabilities, parents who are wrestling with the importance of teaching eye contact, body language, modulated voice volume, and cleaner eating habits to their non-LD, but spastic child. Lavoie provides such a kind way of encouraging success!

Fantastic book!