Amy's Answering Machine: Messages from Mom (Hardcover)

by Amy Borkowsky (Author) "A lot of people who are driven to the point of insanity report hearing voicesvoices commanding them to stalk, maim, or even kill..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York, Maury Povich, Mom Years (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Does your mother call you in a panic whenever there's a storm warning for your area? Does she act as though it's her duty to alert you to every health story on the news? Have you ever been briefly out of touch with your mother only to find she's phoned everyone short of the National Guard to track you down -- or, just maybe, are you that mother?

Take comfort in knowing you're not alone, as Amy Borkowsky shares more than a decade's worth of maddening phone messages from her hilariously overprotective mom. Based on the hit CD of the same name, Amy's Answering Machine features actual messages in which Amy's mom warns her not to wear a red bathrobe because a friend's grandson "said that red is a gang color"...advises her not to get a cat because "what if you finally found a nice guy and he was allergic?"...cautions her not to wear crepe-soled shoes because "they were just saying on the news that if you're ever in a plane crash, crepe is no good if you have to go down the slide."

Amy also reveals the stories behind the messages and shares calls not available on CD, each one brimming with the worry and annoying comments only a loving mother could dish out.

The same warnings and suggestions that had Amy cringing are sure to have you doubled over with laughter. But before you turn the page, take some advice from Amy's mom: Make sure you have plenty of reading light, because squinting causes crow's feet.

About the Author
Amy Borkowsky is a Manhattan-based comedian and has won numerous awards as an ad agency creative director. Residing almost 1,000 miles away from her mother, Amy enjoys sitting too close to the TV, talking to strangers, and leaving the house without a sweater.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 128 pages
• Publisher: Atria; First edition. edition (April 3, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743422287
• ISBN-13: 978-0743422284
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.8 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #637,726 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Calling all Moms (or Moms calling us), June 6, 2002

By	Kirstin G. Larson (Chicago, IL United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Amy Borkowsky recently was a guest on NPR Morning Edition, where she discussed the origins of this book and they played excerpts of some of Amy's Mom's wonderful words of wisdom. It was so funny I almost drove off the road because I was laughing so hard! I just had to have this book!
I looked high and low--checked all my local bookstores, but no one had it in stock. Finally, Amazon.com to the rescue, I got my hands on a copy.
It was a great read. Amy's commentary between the messages helps to convince the reader that Amy loves her mom, and adds a nice counterpoint and balance to the book.
This book (supposedly) is also available with an cd so you can actually HEAR the messages for yourself. Now, I wasn't able to find that edition of the book, but trust me, if you can find it, it is worth it! Since I had already heard Amy's mom on NPR, I read the book superimposing her voice in my head as I as I read the messages, which made it WAY funnier. I'm passing this book around to all my friends, it's a lot of fun!

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The book is good, the CD is better, April 8, 2001

By	Mary G. Longorio "Texasbookgirl" (Eagle Mountain, UT) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Anyone who has heard Amy Borowsky talk about her mother and her messages knows how funny those messages are. This is a very funny book, but something is lost in the transition to the written word. This book contains some of the funniest messages Amy's mom has left...but anyone who has heard the CD, or even snippets of the CD may be disappointed. The missing ingredient is her mother's voice, the tone and phrasing and concern in each message, the sincere and unselfconscious way Amy's mom imparts her advice and care.You can laugh yourself silly listening to that CD. The book is funny, the messages about the red bathrobe, the single Jewish guy in Alaska, underwire bras and metal detector at the airport, and the Jewish rye with suspicious origins. You can't help but laugh. There is a very witty dialogue in the book as Amy moves from catagory to catagory, "Why a mother is better than a guy", "If I still lived with my mother she would dress me", and "What's wrong with this bachelor?". It is funny and tender and insightful. A good book to give to a friend dealing with a mother giving regular ovary alerts. Better yet, buy the CD and give them both. (Amy's mom, I'm sorry I didn't give it five stars. Please don't call).

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My Daughter and I loved it, May 31, 2001

By A Customer

My daughter and I both read this book and were laughing so hard we had mascara running down our cheeks. We took turns reading the messages and, while my daughter claims they sound exactly like me, I really don?t think I?m that overprotective, but then we don?t always see ourselves objectively. The illustrations were really fun, my favorite being the one where Amy?s mother puts Amy?s picture on a milk carton after she?s ?missing? for an hour or so. My daughter especially got a kick out of Amy?s running commentary; for example, where Amy lists the reasons that a mother is better than a guy, the main one being that when a guy says he?s going to call, you never know if he?ll follow through, but with a mother, she?ll call come hell or high water. (I forget how Amy phrases it. I probably butchered her prose!) My only criticism, if there is one, is that unless you read the introduction that explains that ?Amila? is the mother?s nickname for ?Amy,? you might be confused as to whether her name is Amy or Amila. Okay, minor point, but I tend to be a stickler for details. All in all, though, this book is proof that truth is much funnier than fiction, and it makes great reading for yourself and would be a great gift for anyone who suffers through life with a mother whose love and good intentions can be somewhat suffocating yet, at least in this case, very entertaining.