Secrets Of A Gay Marine Porn Star (Paperback)

by Rich Merritt (Author)
Key Phrases: senator feinstein, gay military friends, porn past, Rich Merritt, Bob Jones, San Diego (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
During the height of Clinton's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, Merritt led two secret lives. Marines serving under him didn't realize their captain was a closeted gay man, and his small group of gay friends didn't know he made gay porn films while enlisted. In this hefty if meandering tell-all, Merritt charts his struggle to repress his sexuality while living amongst the members of his ultra-conservative family and attending "the Fortress of Fundamentalism": Bob Jones University. He'd never even masturbated prior to his first sexual experience in his mid-20s. That first encounter-with another man-ends with a knife being held to the throat of a woman who saw the two together. Being a Marine seems to appeal both to Merritt's narcissism and to his extreme low self-esteem. A self-avowed "adrenaline junkie" and drama queen with (undiagnosed) depression, he tries to feed his ego by becoming a stripper, a male escort (briefly) and, finally, a porn star. Just when the book seems headed for a happy ending with Merritt in a stable relationship and attending law school, he discovers circuit parties and starts mixing alcohol, recreational drugs and antidepressants, which sends him spiraling downward toward a suicide attempt. Merritt's tale is compelling, titillating and even moving. But at nearly 500 pages, many of which are padded with superfluous detail, it often lags, making it far less compelling than it might have been with some judicious editing.
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Review
"Rich Merritt's had an amazing ride, and his memoir rivetingly takes us along with it, tying together his disparate roles - good christian, porn star, military gay with saucy wisdom. You couldn't make this stuff up!"

Product Details

• Paperback: 480 pages
• Publisher: Kensington (June 7, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0758209681
• ISBN-13: 978-0758209689
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #151,183 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #25 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Pornography
  #25 in	Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs > Gay
  #33 in	Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Special Groups > Gay & Lesbian

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating memoir of life at the extremes, September 29, 2005

By	Michael J. Mazza (Pittsburgh, PA USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)

I imagine that "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star," by Rich Merritt, will either titillate or repulse potential readers with its sensationalistic title and cover design. I found the book to be a fascinating, illuminating, well-written, and surprisingly sober account of a most remarkable life journey. Merritt describes how he came from a fundamentalist Christian background, served in the United States Marine Corps, came to grips with his identity as a gay man, appeared in gay pornographic films, and descended into a nightmare of sexual promiscuity and illegal drug use.

Merritt offers windows into a variety of communities and subcultures. Particularly interesting is Merritt's account of his attendance at Bob Jones Elementary School, Bob Jones Academy, and Bob Jones University--all bastions of extreme Christian fundamentalism. The author's account of his journey through the gay porn industry gives an interesting view of some of the personalities and practical issues involved in the business. Also noteworthy is his account of his time at law school and the beginning of his post-Marine Corps legal career.

But it is Merritt's often gripping account of life as a closeted gay Marine that I found to be the most impactful aspect of this memoir. Merritt's USMC career spans from the mid-1980s to the latter 1990s, a time of significant challenge and change for America's military forces. Merritt gives insight into the realities of gay Marine life before and after codification of the controversial "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He writes about gay Marines' paranoia and survival tactics, as well as the presence of an underground gay military network. Merritt's career includes shipboard service in the Persian Gulf, command time, and a tour as a Marine general's aide; particularly interesting is his colorful portrait of the general for whom he worked. His account of his efforts to challenge the military's policy on gays through the media is also worthy of note.

Supplementing the text are numerous photographs covering the author's time at the Bob Jones schools, in the Marine Corps, in the gay porn business, and after leaving military service. Merritt's Bob Jones background and connections are persistent presences throughout the memoir. Overall, I found the book to be a consistently interesting account of bouncing back and forth between cultural extremes. It's also a story about the universal experiences of searching for love, happiness, belonging, and a sense of identity. Merritt's story raises interesting questions about the media's role in the gays-in-the-military issue, and about the search for gay military role models and icons. Overall, this is a compelling Marine memoir and, in particular, a serious addition to the growing body of books dealing with the gays-in-the-military issue.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very Honest - Compelling Story - I recommend!, February 23, 2006

By	E. Karas "Eric" (Chicago IL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Rich Merritt's book is an interesting tale of someone who is always trying to be a "good boy" and do the right thing but finds his fundamentalist upbringing clashing with his coming out as a gay man. It's interesting to hear his stories of being a "star" pupil in the fundamentalist community, then a "star" in the Military and then dabbling as a porn star. Just when you think he's going to finally stand on his own and get over his past he sinks into the drug culture of the gay circuit parties. There is a realization that all the accomplishments have always been about trying to make up for some sort of low self esteem. Rich has to eventually love himself by the end.

It thought this was very honest and not a "poor me" book. (Like Greg Louganis' book for example) It had juicy parts (he doesnt shy away from the sex) and he doesn't always cast himself in the best light.

I also like that this book was a story about the love of friendship between him and a male straight friend from the marines.

Like many Gay people Rich was rejected by family so made a family of his friends. Lots of gay people do this.

Overall it has everything - biography, juicy sexual read, honest storytelling and moving as well. I recommend.

29 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every Marine's Story..., June 1, 2005

By	John L. Hulsey "Living the great life..." (San Diego, CA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

While reading this book, I was surprised to find so many similiarities between myself and the author. They are far too numerous to list, but our common experiences were stunning. Later, I realized what was even more amazing. This Marine's story, like mine, is not unusual at all. (Granted, there are extremes in Capt Merritt's story.) But the loneliness, isolation, depression, fear, paranoia, and emotional highs and lows are truly common for gay Marines.

What Rich Merritt has done in this book is capture the experience of serving in the shadows while walking on the skyline. I, for one, am indebted to him for helping me find the words to explain to so many just what I have gone through. Friends and family will be receiving this book from me, with personal notes that will help explain how his experiences mirrored many of mine.

Thank you, Capt. Merritt. Semper Fi.