The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World (Paperback)

by Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D. (Author) "Remember when we were kids and compared belly buttons?..." (more)
Key Phrases: personal pacing, many introverts, extroverted children, Hap Hits, Throttle-Down System, Full-Throttle System (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"Filled with Aha! moments of recognition, Dr. Laney's book will help millions of introverts . . ." -- Paul D. Tieger, co-author of Do What You Are

"Its clear, step-by-step advice will help introverts recognize and capitalize on their unique strengths." -- Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci, author of Shyness: A Bold New Approach

Product Description
Do you "zone out" if too much is going on? Are you energized by spending time alone? In meetings, do you need to be asked for your opinions and ideas? Do you tend to notice details that other people miss? Is your ideal celebration a small get-together, rather than a big party? Do you often feel like a tortoise surrounded by hares?

The good news is, you're an introvert. The better new is that by celebrating the inner strengths and uniqueness of being an "innie," The Introvert Advantage shows introverts, and the extroverts who love them, how to work with instead of against their temperament to enjoy a well-lived life. Covering relationships, parenting -- including parenting the introverted child -- socializing, and the workplace, here are coping strategies, tactics for managing energy, and hundreds of valuable tips for not only surviving but truly thriving in an extrovert world.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 330 pages
• Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; 1 edition (February 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0761123695
• ISBN-13: 978-0761123699
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars See all reviews (115 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #5,040 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

356 of 366 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Quiet Reflection on a Noisy Planet, September 4, 2003

By	Rebecca Johnson "SeasonedwithLove.com" (Washington State) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)

"Introverts are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. Extroverts are like solar panels that need the sun to recharge. Extroverts need to be out and about to refuel." ~Marti Olsen Laney

Imagine feeling alone in a crowd, preferring a quiet corner to the limelight and feeling overwhelmed by phones, parties and office meetings. Do people often think you are shy, aloof or antisocial? If you are an introvert, you are going to completely relate to a variety of comments that are like fireworks going off in recognition of truth. Introverts can hide their talents and only show them in certain situations.

Through reading this wonderful and often humorous book, you will be assured that nothing is wrong with you. In fact, there is a connection between Introversion and Intelligence.

What is fascinating is how Marti Olsen Laney explains how introverts create energy in the opposite way extroverts do. I'm often drained of all energy after being with people for extended periods of time, but being with a book can set me on fire with creativity and energy. I can handle small groups and connecting with familiar faces can actually energize me, but after three hours, I want to find a more peaceful setting.

This book helped me understand why I have deeper thoughts when I'm by myself than in a group setting. People seem to not know who I am in the "real-world," but online, I have found a place to show my true self. This is apparently because introverts are more comfortable with writing than speaking in public.

Are You an Introvert?

Are you detail oriented yet details in public spaces overwhelm you?
Do you prefer small parties with intimate friends?
Do you avoid crowds?
Would you rather be reading books in bed in your pajamas?
Do you get tired when you are around people, but energized when alone?
Do you feel guilty about having to "limit" your social experiences so you can survive?

Does your mind sometimes go blank in group situations?
Do you dislike being interrupted in the middle of a project?

The author has divided her comments into three main sections. First you find out if you really are an introvert, then you discover how to navigate the extrovert world. The last section explains how you can create the perfect life by "extroverting." This is just another way of saying that an introvert can also shine their light out into the world.

After reading the list of famous introverts, you will see similarities in their personalities. The author also gives a list of movies to add to your "must-see" list. Marti also spends time seeking the in-depth answers to brain chemistry. You will also find out if you are a Right or Left-Brained Introvert.

Then onward to "dating." The "Relationships: Face the Music and Dance" chapter shows how personality types collide, how to meet the challenge and then how to appreciate the differences. Even by reading the chapter on Parenting, I started to understand extroverts in a new way. I find extroverts to be fascinating, yet at times they overwhelm my cozy-sit-in-the-corner cat nature with their tiger tactics. Extroverts just seem so aggressive at times. The world can look a little threatening and a party can be overwhelming.

I love the author's ideas about how to be a sea anemone at a party. I've survived many parties with this tactic. If you are worried about what to say at a party, Marti gives plenty of solutions in the form of openers, sustainers, transitions and closers. Then she dives into the hazards from 9 to 5. This chapter will also shed some light on your personal relationships. Ok, by the time I read "Pack Your Survival Kit" this book had been more than helpful. These tips alone will encourage you to create a more peaceful planet.

"The Introvert Advantage" is an encouraging book for anyone who has felt the pain of being an introvert in an extrovert world. Marti Olsen Laney also shows how it can be equally painful and unfulfilling to remain in a state of seclusion. Through reading thoughtful segments on a daily basis, you can finally start to find balance in your daily existence.

This is a must-read book for all Introverts and the people who love them. The author has a comfortable writing style and you will feel "at home" and find yourself "completely" relating to her experiences. It is rare to find a book where you just fall in love with an author's personality. She is cute, witty and intellectual too. Finally someone out there understands! The author has really done her research.

Highly recommended. Add this book to your Top Ten must-read books this year. After all, it will help you understand 25% of the population.

~The Rebecca Review

A Right-brained "mostly" Introvert (INFP) and proud of it.

58 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars YES, But then on to which type of Introvert are you ?, November 2, 2004

By	Bosse de Nage (New England) - See all my reviews

I like this book. It is an excellent place to start exploring life as an Introvert, or for an Extravert to start trying to understand Introverts. Author Marti Laney sees Introversion as a personality type -- a particular collection or pattern of personality traits. Her 30-question quiz scores you on a continuum from Introverted to Extraverted. Yet a limitation shows up here, in that the Introvert prototype in this book is based on the exact combination of traits that the author says she herself possesses as an Introvert, which is actually just one subtype of Introversion. For example, Jungian personality type approaches talk about 8 subtypes of Introverts -- see David Keirsey's book Please Understand Me II for details. Below I will suggest step 2 in the quest for understanding Introversion, for follow up after reading The Introvert Advantage, by mentioning some books that focus on one or another subtype of Introverts:
Thoughtful--introspective: Solitude by A. Storr
Shy--socially anxious: The Gift of Shyness by A. Avila
Artistic--creative: The Highly Sensitive Person by E. Aron
Worried: The Positive Power of Negative Thinking by J. Norem
Lonely--isolated: Just Your Type by P. Tieger
Loner--alone by preference: Party of One by A. Rufus
Low Energy: High Energy Living by R. Cooper
Literary--observer: Jane Austen, The Complete Novels
Different books for different introverts. As Carl Jung said, each individual is ultimately a unique crystal, but type theories can be helpful for navigating social life.

59 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Fun, Quick Read - But Needs More Substance, October 23, 2003

By	Molly - See all my reviews

Pros: The book neatly covers issues important to introverts - dating, parenting, socializing, work. Each introvert might find a few useful tips. Most fascinating to me was the chapter on biology and genetic causes of introversion and extroversion. It reassures that you're not alone - there are other introverts out there!

Cons: Though called "Introvert ADVANTAGE", it's more coping than celebrating. It dwells on introvert inadequacy, guilt, shame and paralyzing fear. The author seems biased towards her personal experience - right-brained, probably an F (feeling), and married to an extrovert. The book is confusing from a Meyers-Briggs/Keirsey (INTP, ESFJ, etc) standpoint since she divides almost ALL personality traits as introvert or extrovert.

There are style issues as well: The font is large. Many chapters feel introductory at best. Frequent long, rambling stories about the author's family and patients. Hard statistics and clinical/medical studies are sporadic. A lot of "conflict resolution" tips are touchy-feely self-help rather than introvert or extrovert related.

Overall: The book is a quick and easy read, and fun to flip through. The best chapter is personality brain chemistry. While the book could improve from further editing and more research study citations, it is still a fun way to spend an afternoon.