In the Garden of Desire: Women's Sexual Fantasies as a Gateway to Passion and Pleasure (Paperback)

~ (Author), Suzie Boss (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Popular books on women's sexual fantasies tend to deliver soft core thrills and tips for a more fulfilling sex life, but disappoint readers hoping for outrageous abandon. Though well-crafted and often erotically charged, In the Garden of Desire is no exception, although it does offer insight into how fantasies evolve and how our sexuality is shaped by early experiences, whether pleasurable, disapproving, or abusive. It reminds us, too, that sex is, like humor, a matter of personal taste. Elaborate scenarios that electrify some of us--from sex-play with a true-hearted, sure-handed lover to nipple clamps--leave others shrugging.

Sex therapist Wendy Maltz and journalist Suzie Boss commendably avoid reducing fantasies to typically simplistic categories, noting that this strips them of the very plot build-up and sensuality that turn many women on. The authors are sanguine about disturbing or violent desires, merely commenting that "fantasies work best for us when they feel optional." To that end, they suggest ways to rewrite unpleasantly obsessive or personally oppressive scripts without completely extinguishing their fire. --Francesca Coltrera

From Library Journal

Sexual fantasies; we all have them. What many people may not know is that the same fantasies that make our hearts go pitter-pat can also tap into the unconscious and help express deep-seated desires or conflicts. Both of these books encourage readers to explore and understand their erotic thoughts to gain valuable insights into themselves. Toward that end, both include numerous fantasies per chapter, many explicit in detail. These details are necessary since only then can the sexual thoughts be broken down and analyzed for significant themes, recurring imagery, and hidden meanings. Both books also speak of a new sexual age in the near future, when everyone will benefit from the demystification of sex and will be able to communicate effectively about the subject without fear. The books are nevertheless different. Berkowitz, host of the popular talk show Real Personal, focuses on men's fantasies, organizing them thematically by content and offering straightforward analysis. Sex therapist Maltz and journalist Boss focus on women's fantasies, grouping them according to the six most common roles, e.g., the pretty maiden, the victim. They also cover uncharted waters with a section on eliminating troublesome and unwanted sexual fantasies. If your library can afford only one, Maltz and Boss is the more analytical title, though both are recommended.?Marty Dean Evensvold, Magnolia Branch Lib., Tex.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Broadway (May 4, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767901614
• ISBN-13: 978-0767901611
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #913,290 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars praise from Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, October 27, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (Paperback)

Sex therapist and author Wendy Maltz and writer Suzie Boss have combined their talents in this new book about women's sexual fantasies. Together they explore the origins of women's most private thoughts, the most common fantasy roles for women, and how sexual fantasies may function to enhance one's sex life. Wendy Maltz's capacity as one of our country's leading experts with respect to healing from past sexual abuse is also reflected in this book. Chapters on how to recognize fantasy traps and heal or even change unwanted fantasies provide individuals with important insights and tools to alter disturbing fantasies. Finally, the authors offer advice on how to share fantasies with your lover and how to create new fantasies.
I found this book remarkable as it addresses an important issue in a very matter of fact way. Once again, it becomes clear how diverse women's sexualities are. The authors provide a logical framework for different fantasy styles by separating sexual fantasies into two broad categories, 1) scripted fantasies which may contain scripted plots and identifiable characters versus 2) unscripted fantasies with a primary focus on sensations rather that character roles. These two categories are by no means exclusive. In fact, many women draw from both in order to make up their personal fantasies.

Different women have different modes for getting sexually aroused, and while some prefer visual stimulation, others may find that auditory, tactile, olfactory, kinesthetic (related to body movement) or flavor stimuli are important ingredients to trigger sexual arousal. Maltz and Boss conclude: "…Sex therapists have recognized for years that fantasy can be an effective aid in helping women with sexual performance. They have frequently recommended the use of fantasies to boost sexual response, sort of like a vibrator of mind…The beauty of fantasy is that we can tap this wellspring of creativity at any time, in any place, with no one else privy to our thoughts…"

I very much agree that sexual fantasies are private thoughts, which do not necessarily have to be shared with others. For those who choose to share their fantasies with a partner for sexual enrichment, the authors offer sound advice on how to best accomplish this and they provide various guidelines for how to enact fantasies while honoring each other's limits.

In conclusion, I can highly recommend Private Thoughts to anyone, female or male, who wants to learn more about the power of women's sexual fantasies.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Real analysis based on legitimate research, June 26, 1998

By A Customer

For anyone suspicious that Nancy Friday's dated My Secret Garden lacked legitimate research and analysis, this new book is a welcome resource. It gives the reader more than just summaries of women's fantasies--although obviously you cannot write this book without describing them. But this book goes on to show how to use those fantasies.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good read about female fantasy, August 14, 2008

By	Christine Nicole Nelson "irongirlchris" (Belmont, CA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (Paperback)

I found this book to be a very informative and empowering read. The information is presented in an easy to understand and clear way by dividing fantasies into categories. Basically it examines the meaning of sexual fantasies in a woman's life somewhat like one could do with dreams. However, dreams are unconscious/subconscious whereas fantasies are more of a conscious process.