If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life [Hardcover]

Cherie Carter-Scott Ph.D. (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The definition of success (at least in America) is outward accomplishment, whether it's amassing a fortune or leaving a legacy of influence. But a personal sense of well-being or fulfillment--finding love and time with family--is often the inward measurement of success. The two need not be mutually exclusive, says Chérie Carter-Scott, an internationally recognized motivational speaker and management consultant who's written several other "rule" books, such as If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules. She says that success is achieved only "when your own sense of well being and the extended symbols of accomplishment converge," a feat she says can be met by following her 10 basic guidelines about self-acceptance and self-motivation.

Fortunately, her rules are easy to follow--no misty metaphors or perplexing parables. Each chapter is neatly devoted to a specific rule, such as "your actions affect your outcomes," or "success is a process that never ends." Real-life stories illustrate each rule, making the advice feel personal and applicable. When addressing rule 2, "wanting success is the first step in attaining it," Carter-Scott helps readers handle sabotaging loved ones who may feel threatened or jealous by your success, such as the mother who didn't want her son to apply to medical school because he might not be able to handle the rejection, or the so-called "best friend" who always insulted her friend's new clothing business.

In the chapter on rule 3, "self-trust is essential," we meet Paul, the miserable banker who yearned to be an art dealer but wore the "golden handcuffs" of his big salary. A few years after analyzing his life and deciding to make a change, "Paul has become a successful art dealer, making close to the same salary he was making before," writes Carter-Scott. "Only now it brings him joy rather than binding him to his life." Although some of the examples may feel predictable, Carter-Scott's warm, folksy style should appeal to many readers, helping them to identify goals and follow through on them. --Gail Hudson

From Publishers Weekly

In another winner from the author of the bestselling If Life Is a Game/If Love Is a Game series, Carter-Scott gently expresses her wisdomDeven if she doesn't break any new ground in the inspirational field. Careful not to define success as financial prosperity, Carter-Scott eloquently encourages readers to realize their own goals and dreams, not society's vision for them. To that end, she offers simple, profound suggestions for identifying and attaining personally defined success. Her approach is more philosophical and less dogmatic, and her voice is more engaging, than those in many self-help books covering the same territory. Respectful of her readersDshe addresses them as intelligent adults capable of introspection, analysis and changeDCarter-Scott suggests challenging exercises for self-discovery (such as writing one's life story and identifying role models) as well as for finding one's gifts, overcoming limiting beliefs and "stay[ing] positive." Her comments on time management and working cooperatively with others are similarly valuable gems. Agent, Debra Goldstein at the Creative Culture. Simultaneous BDD Audio. (Dec..-- positive." Her comments on time management and working cooperatively with others are similarly valuable gems. Agent, Debra Goldstein at the Creative Culture. Simultaneous BDD Audio. (Dec.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; 1 edition (December 26, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767904265
• ISBN-13: 978-0767904261
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #596,849 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Enjoy the Journey", December 30, 2000

By	Professor Donald Mitchell "Jesus Makes Me a P... (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 97,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)

This review is from: If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life (Hardcover)

I found it very difficult to grade this book. It is clearly a five-star implementation of its promise: To give you the rules for achieving success in career and life. That's what my rating above stands for.

On the other hand, I think the book's premise as described in the title is an incomplete one. Let me give you an analogy. We know chess is a game. I can teach you the rules, and that will do you little good unless you develop skill or only play unskilled opponents. Then I can give you the rules of how to succeed at chess, but if you do not develop enough skill, you still will not win at chess unless the opponents are less skillful. Many of the rules in this book are the equivalent of telling a new chess player to think 8 moves ahead before picking the next move. Easily said, but hard to do.

My point is that this book usually gives you very correct information, but at a level of generalization that will only get you started in the direction of where you need to go . . . not give you the skill to get there.

By comparison, I have attended many excellent seminars that emphasized similar material. In those circumstances, working on exercises with a new "buddy" met at the seminar and writing in a journal provided the focus, discipline, and feedback to start making progress. This book also has exercises, but doesn't give you enough direction for how to work on them to make the kind of progress you could be making.

Having said that, this book will be great for people who are already very focused on success and just have a need for a little better direction in how to pursue it. If you are just getting stuck a little now and then, you will probably do very well with this book.

On the other hand, if you cannot seem to make headway at all, this book may not be enough to get you started. I suggest that you do enlist a "buddy" to help you (ideally one who wants you to help her or him, as well), which should enhance your progress.

Let me briefly paraphrase the ten rules for you:

1. The meaning of success does and should differ from person to person.

2. You have to be emotionally committed to progress to get started and sustain the effort.

3. Believe that you can trust yourself to become successful.

4. You need goals to focus your attention.

5. Pick the actions that link you toward your goals.

6. Keep your eyes open for new opportunities that fit your goals.

7. Setbacks provide learning that will help you make better future progress. Keep persevering!

8. Time, relationships, and finances should be carefully developed and employed to give you the best boost.

9. Keep an open mind about what is required next as you make progress, because new challeges present the need for changed directions and methods by you.

10. Success is all about becoming, not arriving, so keep going with new goals!

What I liked least about the book was the definition of success that said: "Clearly, no one definition of success is better than another." That is true if each definition is equally true for the individual who espouses it.

What I liked most about the book was focusing on personal fulfillment: "The true essence of success . . . lies in your own personal sense of satisfaction and fulfillment."

In the latter regard, I wish the book had focused more on its message of "enjoy the journey" because that is what a successful pursuit of any goal should be about.

The book is filled with many wonderful examples, questions to answer, and advice for avoiding pitfalls (especially "stalled" thinking).

I hope the author will come out with a very detailed workbook to complement this book, and help readers to develop more skill in applying its messages. Until that time, I suggest that Life Strategies and The Life Strategies Workbook will probably be more helpful to many readers than this book alone.

Feel free to use the three together though. My suggestion would be to read this book first, then Life Strategies, then the Life Strategies Workbook.

I also suggest that you reread this book at least once every two years, just to keep its messages abour rules fresh in your mind.

May your life be filled with great joy and meaning . . . for you!

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, January 8, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life (Hardcover)

One of the best books on success of all time is Think and Grow Rich. Yet as good as it is, that book and others tend to pull their punches. People want to believe there is some secret to being successful that doesn't involve rolling up your sleeves and working. Many success books and schemes pander to that and end up helping no one. The only person that succeeds is the huckster selling the hype to people being told what they want to hear.

What makes this book great is accuracy. It is a clear description of what goes into being successful. Instead of feeding into people's illusions it clearly describes what you really must do to be successful.

It just amazes me how people exist in denial. They blame others instead of simply seeing that they create all aspects of their lives. They want luck to play a major role in their achievements, friendships, love and career success, when really you make your own life.

This book will set you straight. The author is intelligent and a good writer. The bio says she's done seminars with individual coaching for 20 years. I believe it. She's obviously taken the time to learn what works and has written a quality book that made a significant difference for me. If you're ready to bring some effective new ways of thinking, relating and working into your life, things that will make a difference, this book is one of the best you'll find to help you learn how to do that for yourself.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book that will help you discover success, July 27, 2002

By	Blaine Greenfield "eclectic reader" (Belle Meade, NJ) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life (Hardcover)

Read IF SUCCESS IS A GAME, THESE ARE THE RULES
by Cherie Scott-Cater . . . this is a wonderful self-help book,
but don't be put of by that description if you're not typically
a fan of such material.

Scott-Carter will make you a convert as she helps you discover
what determine what success means to you . . . and that is
perhaps the key benefit you'll gain from reading her book;
i.e., it enables you to come up with you own definition and
then achieve it via ten simple rules.

I liked her use of examples, as well as probing
questions . . . methinks you will, too, and you'll be surprised
about how inspired you will be to achieve your various goals.

There were many memorable passages; among them:
I notice that many people put off doing this exercise [writing one's ideal obituary] because it confronts them with the reality of their mortality. I have found, conversely, that when you really examine your life head-on, you can be painfully honest about what you want to accomplish throughout your life. It is a bit uncomfortable writing down big dreams because they may sound highly ambitious or self-aggrandized, but unless you allow yourself to imagine your ideal life, you can never begin to make it happen. Imagining yourself at the end of your life looking back is a helpful tool to articulate what it is that you hope to accomplish during your lifetime.

The formula to find your path to fulfillment is astonishingly simple: Follow your preferences, and they will lead you to your path. Find what brings you joy and satisfaction, and trust that it will also bring you prosperity. Find what makes your blood boil, and trust that it will also fuel your existence. Discover what makes your heart sing, and trust that it will create music in your life. In other words, find what matters to you, and trust that it is the signpost you have been looking for.

One of the things that my clients and friends both love and hate me for is the fact that upon hearing them express a vision, I immediately ask, "When would you like to do that?" I do this because I am eager to see them have what they want. I know the only way this happens is through commitment.