From Publishers Weekly
This book is a treasure for religious leaders and ordinary people who face the challenges of grief and mourning. Without offering pat answers, religious dogma or platitudes of any kind, the author, a Unitarian-Universalist minister who has served congregations for 18 years, provides heartfelt stories and wise words to guide the reader through the many kinds of issues that surface when a loved one has died. She speaks eloquently of the need to give authentic expression to grief and offers practical guidelines for planning a memorial service that involves the mourners and suits the unique context and person whose life is being remembered. Her chapter on the difficulty of making decisions in the face of death equips the reader to help others make hard choices when they feel most overwhelmed and vulnerable. Her discussion of "family ties and family lies" is refreshingly realistic, yet compassionate. York also reminds readers to acknowledge the need for rituals for the first year and beyond, rather than submitting to our culture's pressure to quickly return to life as usual. She provides a broad spectrum of resources, including poetry, suggestions for ritual and wisdom from various religious traditions. This valuable guide will prove particularly helpful for those who do not identify with any one religious tradition, yet are looking for a spiritually vital way of coping with their grief. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
No one dies opportunely, nor are the bereaved, no matter how much a death is anticipated, ever truly prepared. Thus memorial services are usually created at a time of stress and loss. When religion provides safe harbor, it is possible to simply defer to tradition. But increasingly, families want something more than a canned service with a minister mouthing conventional reassurances. They want something that expresses the uniqueness of the deceased. In addition, a large number of Americans find no comfort in traditional religion. For them, a standard religious service is deeply inappropriate. York offers sage advice for both types of mourner. A Unitarian Universalist minister, she addresses life's ending in a direct and moving way. Emphasizing that memorial services are a necessary part of the grieving process, she leads the reader through questions both practical, such as whether to inter or scatter ashes, and emotional, such as how to acknowledge violence and anger. Dozens of stories of individual rituals serve as inspiring examples of how a uniquely fitting memorial--one that will bond and sustain those left behind--may be crafted.
Patricia MonaghanCopyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
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