The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever (Hardcover)

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Key Phrases: happily married men, marriage therapy, making marriage work, Tom Hanks, Psychological Profile, Valentine's Day

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Haltzman begins this marriage guide for men by emphasizing the biological differences between men and women, arguing that traditional approaches to marriage counseling can devalue men and ignore immutable male qualities. Evolutionary biology along with explanations of the limbic system governing emotions provide the foundation for Haltzman's argument that much psychological dogma is possibly wrong, buoying married men by suggesting that it might be healthy "to keep your feelings to yourself" or that getting in touch with feelings is not a panacea for a better marriage. Then Haltzman, a psychiatry professor at Brown and operator of a Web site devoted to the "secrets of married men," launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. Despite the author's unorthodox theoretical groundwork, the strategies are commonsensical—make marriage your job, learn to listen, know your wife, aim to please. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful "to do" lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage. (Jan.)
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Review

Haltzman begins this marriage guide for men by emphasizing the biological differences between men and women, arguing that traditional approaches to marriage counseling can devalue men and ignore immutable male qualities. Evolutionary biology along with explanations of the limbic system governing emotions provide the foundation for Haltzman's argument that much psychological dogma is possibly wrong, buoying married men by suggesting that it might be healthy "to keep your feelings to yourself" or that getting in touch with feelings is not a panacea for a better marriage. Then Haltzman, a psychiatry professor at Brown and operator of a Web site devoted to the "secrets of married men," launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. Despite the author's unorthodox theoretical groundwork, the strategies are commonsensical—make marriage your job, learn to listen, know your wife, aim to please. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful "to do" lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage. (Jan.) (Publishers Weekly, November 7, 2005)

Asserting that men have the power to fix their broken marriages because they are men, psychiatrist and marriage counselor Haltzman put together a guidebook that helps men give their wives exactly what they want and receive from them exactly what they hoped for the day they got married. Drawing on years of clinical experience and responses on his web site (secretsofmarriedmen.com), the author cites several "secrets" that differentiate the happily from the unhappily married men. Those who are satisfied have learned to listen to and know their wives; they aim to please and expect conflict and have learned to deal with it. Haltzman writes guy to guy, with anecdotes and humor. While it may be a challenge to get men to check out this book, it is highly recommended for all libraries. (Library Journal)

MANLY MEN REST assured: You can hope to become a better husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. Psychiatrist Haltzman doesn't ask men to change so much as to harness their best masculine strengths. Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by anecdotes from his online discussion forum for married men. The upshot: Men would do well to approach their marriages with the same commitment and sense of purpose that they bring to a job. (Psychology Today)

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (December 16, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787979597
• ISBN-13: 978-0787979591
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #94,990 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I had a duh moment!, January 26, 2007

By	Marc Wester (Santa Barbara, CA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I'll start by saying I never read self-help/relationship/marriage books. I mean never. I usually can't get past the first few pages without being bored. My wife bought this book on a whim(she loves this kind of reading) and casually handed it to me and said "I know you may not be that interested but here...". She had only skimmed through it a bit.

I love this book. It has stimulated several moving conversations with my wife and as I read it I can only think "wow, this is exactly what happens to me in my marriage". It's like the author is reading my mind.

I would recommend any man(married or not) to read this and just as importantly, any woman(married or not) to read this book.

Peace

29 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Blew me away, January 10, 2006

By	Matthew Aron (Hilton Head, S.C.) - See all my reviews

Did Dr. Haltman spy on my wife and me? I've been married for more than five years. I'm very competent at my work (sales) but my wife makes me feel like I'm incompetent at marriage because I don't do thing like she does. He describes my situation to a tee.
I bought this book because I liked the premise: that men have different abilities than women, but can use them to make marriage better. This is a great book! It made me feel better about myself, has reinforced things I felt about my contribution to the marriage.
Better yet, when I do some of the things the author suggests, it really works, especially when it comes to dealing with conflict (Chapter is called: Expect conflict and learn to deal with it). One example, I started to focus on what she was saying, rather than on what my response to her words. It cut back on the tension when we "debate" things. I think my wife likes that I am reading hte book. (She reads this stuff more than I do usually)
When I'm done re-reading the book, I'll give it to my wife to read. Then we'll all be "on the same page".
I highly recommend this book. Can I give it more than 5 stars?

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It Passed the Acid Test -- My Wife!, September 3, 2006

By	J. L. Jagers - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book accomplishes several things: (1) It takes the mystery out of the language of intimacy and romance. (2) It provides guidance in positive (non-critical) language. (3) After my wife and I spent an evening discussing the eight ways I can do better, she agreed that it would indeed win her heart forever. It passed the acid test!
-- Dr. Lee Jagers, Director of Counseling Services, Dallas Theological Seminary, Dallas, Texas