The Grandmother Principles (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In our mobile, youth-obsessed culture, we have developed a grandmother problem, says Suzette Haden Elgin. "Women who become grandmothers don't know whether to rejoice or run for cover and grandmotherly role models and skills are disappearing." In The Grandmother Principles, Elgin, the bestselling author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense has created a commonsense guide for learning to "think like a grandmother."

Elgin organizes the book around 21 "Grandmother Principles"--short aphorisms that are a designed to bring more joy and serenity to the adventure of being a grandparent. A sample:

A grandmother is a safe haven; most arguments are about who is in charge; a grandmother is not a quarterback; there are secret stories that only a grandmother should know.

Each principle is explored by addressing hot topics for grandparents and detailed in sidebars, comics, and sample dialogues. Elgin's buoyant, supportive personality guides grandparents through a hefty list of how-to's including how to avoid being a martyr, deal with memory loss, cope with family disgrace, tell a family story, or write a family newsletter. In each chapter, smart sidebars add levity for example, "seven ways to end up helpless." An appendix details "granny crafts" from crocheting to creating doll clothes and making homemade play dough. Elgin, a grandmother of 10, offers abundant and reliable advice--often convincing us that Grandma knows best. --Barbara Mackoff --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From Publishers Weekly

According to the author, "Grandmother skills" are disappearing because in our highly mobile society, women may now remain in the workforce or live far from their grandchildren. Elgin (The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense), herself a grandmother to 10, attempts to fill this gap by providing grandmothers of all types and ages with this chatty and good-natured guide to successful grandmothering. Included among Elgin's 21 sensible principles are advice for mediating family disputes, tips for helping grandchildren with money problems while maintaining one's own financial solvency, as well as the importance of passing down family myths and stories to the next generation. Elgin also discusses family crises or illnesses when it may become necessary for a grandmother to take over the running of the household of one of her children (whom she coyly refers to as a "chadult"). Elgin firmly believes that once the emergency is over, a grandmother must return the household to the parents as soon as possible and gracefully return home. Elgin includes lots of nitty gritty advice but most of her book is aimed at reminding readers how to give families the advantage of their experience without giving in to the frailties of age. Editor, Jackie Decter; agent, Jeff McCartney. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 220 pages
• Publisher: Abbeville Press; First Edition. 1 in number line edition (September 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0789204312
• ISBN-13: 978-0789204318
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,434,903 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A most practical,endearing, & enduring book!, January 1, 1999

By	Sandra Gordon (Mountain View, CA USA) - See all my reviews

"Grandmother Principles," presents practical, useful, and easy-to-apply suggestions for making the Grandmother experience a VERY good one. Without taking herself too seriously (cartoons run rampant through the book), Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.(in Linguistics) tells in comforting detail how to be a Grandmother who is welcomed in any family. Grandmother as reliable (not overbearing) source, as clear communicator, as kinship connection - these ideas and more, author Elgin presents with warmth - and the understanding experience that having ten grandchildren herself has provided. MUST reading for Grandmothers & Grandmothers to be. A great gift idea also for parents of young children to give to their own parents. This book is a a what-to-do, what-not-to-do Godsend! -Sandy Gordon

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is a practical, useful book for grandmothers., August 29, 1998

By A Customer

THE GRANDMOTHER PRINCIPLES not only explains the ancient art of grandmothering but also gives very detailed techniques that can be used by a grandmother to enhance her relationship with her grandchildren. It is full of very good, very useful ideas.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical, Fun and Motivational, November 21, 2005

By	Susan W. Edwards (Southern Pines, NC United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Grandmother Principles (Paperback)

As a person who felt like they could have done a better job of intentional parenting, but for whom that time is past; the idea of being more conscious of how we relate toward grown children and grandchildren was very interesting. Ms. Elgin's ideas are always practical and realistic, and often very creative. I especially liked her suggested solution for a policy regarding loaning money to grown children and grandchildren.

She was clear and emphatic in expressing how a grandmother's contributions can create a core for a family that greatly aids stability and cohesiveness. She suggests things that can be very meaningful over an extended period, and then explains why those things are effective and meaningful. The why's of her book struck home for me, and the things I have shared with other people have been received with positive interest.

I highly recommend the book, and agree with her assertion that grandmothers can provide a badly needed haven for family members in a world that can be overwhelming, often confusing and sometimes actively cruel. I also appreciate that many of her ideas are about how to make life easier and more rewarding for yourself and those you spend time with. She even covers thoroughly how these things apply to long-distance grandmothers who have to do most of their grandmothering over the telephone or through the mail.