From Publishers Weekly
After discussing money "types" (hoarders, bingers, spenders, monks) and current cultural realities, psychotherapist Mellan offers a particularly balanced study of the often-hostile male-female relationships in private money matters. Reassuringly objective, she sees hope for improvement "if men and women will begin to understand each other's 'culture' and not take the differences between them so personally." Mellan pinpoints frequently divergent views on investments, philanthropy, banking arrangements and intra-couple communication which must be mutually approached, she stresses, "with curiosity and compassion" and eventually "depolarized" to a middle ground through "love letters," structured "moneytalk" and negotiation. Case histories are offered to illustrate the process. First serial to Brides and Your New Home magazine; Fortune Book Club and QPB selections; author tour.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
A thoughtful, thorough workbook designed by a psychotherapist who has been leading seminars on the subject since 1982. The book starts with a ``money personality'' quiz to determine the individual's relationship with money. Readers can find out whether they are hoarders, spenders, money monks (who feel guilty about having money), or avoiders (who can't face practicalities such as budgets and financial planning). Mellan then advises a family history to help trace the subconscious factors that underlie those attitudes and behavior. Mellan debunks common myths that equate money with love, happiness, power, freedom, self-worth, and security, then she adapts an old gestalt technique to formulate a ``money dialogue'' in which the subject ``talks'' with a personified ``Money'' to reveal the emotional foundation for financial woes. Mellan then moves on to address the polarization of money types within a relationship, giving attention to gender differences. Working in a similar vein to Deborah Tannen (You Just Don't Understand, 1990), Mellan says that the genders are socialized differently about money, leading to miscommunications on the subject. Men, she says, use money in a competitive way, to assert themselves or improve their status. Women, on the other hand, see money as a cooperative tool. In charitable giving, for example, men measure power by the size of their contributions; women care more about the nature of the organization and their connection to it. The last few chapters are devoted to specific techniques for effective communication, resolving money conflicts, and achieving money harmony. Despite sometimes simplistic or redundant prose and occasional lapses in clarity and consistency (new money types not covered in the original quiz keep cropping up), this should be a useful aid for both individuals and couples to resolve their money conflicts. --
Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.