After the Darkest Hour: How Suffering Begins the Journey to Wisdom (Hardcover)

~ Kathleen A. Brehony Ph.D. (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Brehony (Awakening at Midlife; Ordinary Grace) believes that psychology and self-help have focused almost exclusively on dysfunction, rather than on healing and "resilience." Revealing her lack of familiarity with the recovery and inspiration genre, this dubious notion propels her into a lecture on how "suffering builds character." Part One offers a theoretical take on the subject, with many religious and philosophical references. To explain why some people withstand emotional losses better than others, Brehony draws a parallel with the tale of the little pigs, with houses made of straw and brick: a traumatic or abusive childhood builds a house of straw, easily toppled by the vicissitudes of adult life. Unfortunately, Brehony offers little help to those who are "less equal than others," and implies that because some people with bad childhoods become healthy, competent adults, there's no excuse for others who still feel overwhelmed. In the context of her own idyllic childhood, followed by the death of her mother (from cancer) and a car accident involving her father and stepmother (they survived), she encourages those whose houses are already made of brick to roll with life's punches and grow from suffering. Part Two provides a compendium of excellent "strategies" for turning suffering into wisdom and personal growth. However, Brehony's counsel to "count your blessings," "express your feelings," "help others," "pray and meditate," "find courageous role models" and "keep a sense of humor" have all been offered by many others, often with greater clarity and compassion. (Sept.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Psychotherapist Brehony has written a thoughtful, upbeat book that stresses that we will all suffer, that we can't avoid it, and that to do so well will ultimately enrich our lives. With many anecdotes from her practice, family, and friends, she weaves together touching stories of suffering and redemption. The first half of the book describes the nature of suffering, its transformative power, how different people react to suffering, and choices to be made. The second section deals with 12 concrete ways to encounter suffering and grow through it. Making references to Judeo-Christian, Eastern, and Native American religions as well as philosophers and psychologists (footnotes are included), she underscores the universality of suffering throughout recorded time. This empowering book will allow readers to affirm their own strength in the face of suffering that will surely present itself. Highly recommended for public libraries' self-help collections.DMargaret Cardwell, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Clarkston
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.; 1st edition (September 11, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0805064354
• ISBN-13: 978-0805064353
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,379,563 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Its alright to cry!, August 28, 2000

By	Charley from Nevada (Reno, Nevado) - See all my reviews

After the Darkest Hour by Kathleen Brehony taught me it's alright to cry over the loss of a loved one but that we should take something of value from that episode in our life's journey. I am more at peace with myself after six months of substantial grieving over the loss of my wife of 27 years. The book convinced me that I can continue to have a deep relationship with her even though it is in my soul and heart. The book taught me to understand the life cycles and know my place in that cycle and be further strengthened by the tough and sad experience. Hats off to this author for helping me find my real self once again. I plan on giving this book to every friend of mine who has a similar experience in life. God Bless! Grateful from Nevada

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Being Human is a Guest House, October 28, 2000

By	Bruce Newmann (Dallas,TX) - See all my reviews

The Arthor's quote from Rumi at the end of the book says the whole thing. It's what the book is all about. It is a lesson is dealing with adversity, here is an excerpt from that Quote! "This being human is a guest house, Every Morning a New Arrival! Welcome and entertain them all. Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight!. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and INVITE THEM IN. Be grateful for whomever comes, beacause each has been sent as aguide from beyond!"

Brehony concludes this remarkable treatise by saying, "Say yes to all of your life. Choose to live joyfully even in your pain. Love yourself and everyone else. Be present always, alive to every moment. Grieve when you should, fight when you can, accept when you must. But above all say YES!.

Get this book and never put it aside, keep it handy for reference. When a friend is in sorrow, look closely again through "After the Darkest Hour" and you will find a comforting thought to share with your friend and the both of you will be the better for the sharing. It worked for me.

BN

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most helpful books during grieving, January 22, 2002

By	Pswrite "pswrite" (cambridge, ma United States) - See all my reviews

I read several books, all of which were helpful to me recently when I lost someone I loved. This book, however, stayed with me. I couldn't put it down and read it all within two nights, actually three, because I saved the last few pages until the third night (didn't want it to end). I had taken it out at the library, but after reading it decided to buy it from Amazon. Brehony incorporates all types of religious themes/spiritual themes into this book and really gave me a wonderful introduction to Budhism - which I have begun to practice after reading some of the stories and quotes in her book. She does not push any of the religions or spiritual teachings she uses, however, but she presents them in such a way that the reader is helped. I am still grieving and I plan on re-reading her book once I get it from Amazon. I have realized that nothing can truly take away the pain I have from my loss, but Kathleen's book has helped me to see that the best thing I can do is to feel how I feel, instead of figuring out how to run away from it. I recommend this book highly and if you are very open, you might try reading Walking in the Garden of Souls, by George Anderson, which also helped comfort me during this time (although some people may not be open to some of his ideas). At the very least, read Kathleen's book, I felt as if she was sitting next to me helping me through this difficult period of time. It helps because grieving can feel very lonely at times.