Violence in Families: What Every Christian Needs to Know (Paperback)

by Al Miles (Author) "Picture the following three women attending the same church where you worship: Rose, a fifty-eight-year-old homemaker, is the most dedicated person in her congregation-the individual..." (more)
Key Phrases: adult intimate partner abuse, teen relationship violence, warm mahalo, African American, Jesus Christ, Christian Scriptures (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"This book has the information every lay and clergy leader needs for understanding and action."

Product Description
Domestic violence is an often glossed-over danger in families today, and Christian families are not immune. The warning signs can be hidden or disregarded. Reverend Al Miles confronts the issues surrounding family violence, its causes, and possible solutions. He also discusses how all people are affected and can help address the issue. With an honest and down-to-earth tone, this book provides guidance and information for lay people as well as for individuals experienced with the complex nature of domestic violence.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 184 pages
• Publisher: AUGSBURG BOOKS; illustrated edition edition (September 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0806642645
• ISBN-13: 978-0806642642
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #706,746 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Can I Hit Back?, November 6, 2002

By	John Castle "John P Castle RN PA-C MPAS" (Woodbridge, VA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Within two short years Reverend Miles has given the Christian world two revolutionary books. Hes taken his experience and expertise in domestic violence and abuse and opened Christian eyes to the dirty, hidden truth thats ignored by most Biblical believers. Were blind to the domestic terrorism that lives in every one of our churches  even next door or in the parsonage. We choose not to see, either due to our theology, or due to our past, painful, private, and personal experience with the family violence we each try to forget.
There is an Evangelical theology of marriage that forgets the Scriptural teaching that each of us is responsible for our own sins. We cant blame another for violence by responding, If you had cooked a better meal I wouldnt have had to smash your face into the refrigerator. No level of perfection on the part of the victim is sufficient to prevent the cyclical, but relentless onslaught of brutality. The issue is not about the victims maturity. The core question is about the ongoing attempt by the abuser to establish complete and uncompromising power and control over his spouse and family.

Reverend Miles, in his first textbook, Domestic Violence; What Every Pastor Needs to Know (Augsburg Fortress, 2000), demonstrates his grasp of the evil among us by introducing clergy to the horror which more than a fourth of church families experience behind closed doors. Subsequently, he broadens his audience by appealing to the Church in general by sharing this compassionate treatment of the subject in his follow-up study, Violence in Families; What Every Christian Needs to Know (Augsburg Fortress 2002).

Fact  Christians batter their spouses and children

Fact  Most Biblical believers dont think Christians are capable of brutality

Fact  Most clergy are in denial about abuse in their own congregations

Fact  The theology of female submission and male dominance contributes to the evil

Fact  More than a fourth of women in our pews are victims

Fact  Clergy of all stripes are ill prepared to deal with domestic violence and abuse, and in many cases they revictimize their parishioners with a counsel that is neither compassionate nor Biblical

Al Miles introduces us to another hermeneutic that is both Biblical and scientifically accurate. In his texts were introduced to a study from the social sciences that refuses to depart from the solid foundation of Biblical inerrancy. The truth of recent scientific studies is presented to us with Scriptural corroboration: men are beating their wives; the Churchs teaching of female submission to their husbands is contributing to the terror; and the Church is ignoring an evil thats universally prevalent without regard to race, economic status, or denomination.

Seminary courses in pastoral theology shirk the responsibility to prepare clergy to respond compassionately and competently to an evil that affects more than a fourth of female congregants, as well as untold numbers of males and children. Al Miles in his detailed and unusual study of one hundred fifty-eight clergy, male and female, confirms that few victims will find safety in their pastors office. More than one victim has been sent back into the snake pit with the instruction to be more submissive and loving to their batterer.

The secular bookshelves are full of books, texts, and studies of domestic violence and abuse. The world has known about domestic terrorism for many years, but the Church still has its head in the sand. Christian bookstores are loaded with Dobson, et al, world renowned experts who are giving us outstanding teachings on how to fine tune already acceptable or solid marriages. But the Churchs teachers of repute are ignoring the dangerous dysfunctions of verbal, physical, financial, and sexual abuse on their own doorsteps. Reverend Miles rises head and shoulders above the Church masses and courageously opens doors that many of our leaders would rather leave locked.

I own these two books. As a domestic violence and abuse consultant, on a recurring basis I furnish these writings to clergy, elders, and victims. I can think of few other textbooks for the faith community that can assist the involved parties with a trustworthy, Biblical paradigm of the evil of family violence. Its time to open Christian eyes to the disease, and to provide a treatment for both victims and perpetrators. Thank you Al Miles for your resolute handling of a sensitive subject. I pray that the desperation of more than a few victims sitting with us on Sunday morning will find Godly compassion due to your dedication.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A recommended account of a very real problem, November 5, 2002

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

Violence in Families: What Every Christian Needs to Know by Reverend Al Miles (Pacific Health Ministry Coordinator of the Hospital Ministry Department at The Queen's Medical Center, Honolulu, Hawaii) is a powerfully charged survey and analysis of emotional, sexual, verbal, and physical abuse among marriages and dating couples. Particularly denouncing those Christians who misuse scripture to justify abuse or even murder, Violence in Families is a sobering and soberly recommended account of a very real problem within the Christian community and our secular society, -- and what is to be done about it in terms of both prevention and intervention.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book for every Christian, March 9, 2007

By	Soul Reader "Pneuma" (Midwestern USA) - See all my reviews

Rev. Al Miles makes domestic violence accessible and discussable. He presents the information in a way that respects and honors faith while naming the reality that is prevalent in too many families, even Christian families, even every church. As a local church minister, I recommend that this book be placed in every church library, campus ministry resource center, denominational resource center, and every minister's library. It is that vital to the health of the church.