Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All (Paperback)

by Harlyn Aizley (Editor)
Key Phrases: lesbian dad, Aunt Emma, United States, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
More than 15 years into the lesbian baby boom, Aizley's collection of first-person accounts by nonbiological lesbian mothers is a long time coming. Nonlegalistic and (mostly) nonharrowing, these tales are only tangentially about powers of attorney, two-parent adoption, and custody battles, instead illumining what it is to be mom and not-mom at the same time. Some pieces explore the feelings of envy and loss of would-be but infertile mothers learning to accept their easily pregnant partners. Others examine the "lesbian daddy" role, as in Polly Pagenhart's exceptional "Confessions of a Lesbian Dad"; and the lesbian stepmom role, like CNN reporter Mary Cardaras's "Family of the Heart." The most moving essay, "And You Are?" by Hillary Goodridge, describes the peril of being the other mother who is a legal and familial cipher, unrecognizable as "real" family to either partner or child in the eyes of anyone but them. These essays explain what it is to be biologically estranged from your spouse and child(ren) and the daily struggle for approval and acceptance that these women face in society and sometimes even in their own homes and hearts. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
What of the "other" mother, the one who provides loving maternal care and some or all material support but hasn't gestated or given birth to the child? The contributors to this book of answers to that question don't shy away from "other" moms' jealousy for the "flesh-on-flesh, boundaryless nurturing" of the breastfeeding bond; the ambivalence of being 40-plus and hitherto "too busy healing my inner child to have my own kids"; or such wrenching experiences as a disharmonious split with a mentally ill partner who wouldn't allow visiting privileges, let alone partial custody ("even when it became clear my ex could no longer parent[,] . . . I didn't have a chance because I was a biological stranger in the eyes of the court"). Editor and biological mom Aizley's representative selection of the voices of those who, to the usual maternal trials and tribulations, add the difficult, revolutionary task of creating and defining unusual roles within and outside of their homes constitutes a valuable addition to the gay studies and women's issues shelves. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Paperback: 170 pages
• Publisher: Beacon Press (May 15, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0807079634
• ISBN-13: 978-0807079638
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #102,904 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #3 in	Books > Gay & Lesbian > Biographies & Memoirs > Lesbian
  #12 in	Books > Gay & Lesbian > Parenting & Families

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun fun fun!!, June 8, 2006

By	Jackiet "Jacks" (Somerville, MA) - See all my reviews

This book was really great. As a "other mother" myself, I was thrilled to hear about this book, and it is all it says it shouls be- funny, sad, cute. I loved reading it, and have telling friends to buy it!

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Much Need Voice, November 4, 2006

By	Sara "suburban lesbian housewife" (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book provides a much needed voice to the world of parenting essays and writing. The essays range from serious to hysterical, covering a wide range of experiences. I highly recommend the book for all parents, gay, straight, biological or non-biological. It's about being parents.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just For The Other Mother!, July 5, 2007

By	A. Beesley (Boise, ID) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

As the biological lesbian mom, reading this book; as our little boy still squirms around in my belly, has helped prepare me/us for some of the other issues or concerns we may face as a lesbian couple preparing to raise a child. It has been a wonderful tool for my partner and me to discuss topics and concerns that we hadn't yet thought of. It has also given me a new perspective and sensitivity to the issues she may be faced with as the other mother.

I especially enjoyed the variety in authors. Each chapter takes on a whole new personality, making it very diverse and quite entertaining. Each story is so well written and articulate, not to mention funny, heartbreaking, and touching.

A great read for anyone who is looking to be entertained and enlightened.