Perfect Parenting (Paperback)

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Pantley, the author/publisher of the newsletter Parent Tips, presents an alphabetical "dictionary" of over 200 issues ("Hitting," "Nose-Picking," "Baby-Sitters," "Spitting") using questions and answers. This is a nice idea for a book, but it doesn't quite deliver on its promise. The questions are not age-specific?some of the tips deal with age, but certain problems should have different solutions for children of different ages. There is too much repetition: "Forgetfulness," "Carelessness," and "Procrastination" deal with pretty much the same issues. On the positive side, Pantley does see things clearly from a child's viewpoint and uses the "when/then" approach effectively. Moreover, she's big on consistent parenting without endless yammering. Some of the advice is clever (for cabin fever, front-seat fighting, diaper-changing diversions), but it falls short elsewhere (dealing with moving, name-calling, chores). Not essential.?Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

"Perfect Parenting will give you the tools you need to feel confident as you raise your children. This handy reference book may become an indispensable part of your family's life." -- from the foreword by William Sears, MD Perfect parenting is parenting with a plan. It is based on:

• action, not reaction
• thoughtfulness, not anger
• knowledge, not chance
• common sense, not nonsense

This book is a practical dictionary of ideas. It is meant to inspire you to find the right answers for the many discipline and behavior issues you face every day. It presents you with many options and methods that can help you be thoughtful in your approach to raising your children. What you'll find here, in a handy A-Z format, are practical, commonsense solutions that will make your life easier. You'll learn what to do about back talk, dawdling, interrupting, stubbornness, whining. You'll find ways to get your kids to do the chores, stop ignoring you, and clean up their own messes. You'll even learn what to do about other people's children! Elizabeth Pantley designed a questionnaire addressing discipline problems and sent it to hundreds of parents. Their answers shaped this book to make it the most useful, practical book on discipline available today. Elizabeth Pantley is a frequent lecturer to parenting groups around the country. She is the author of one previous book, Kid Cooperation. Her informative newsletter, Parent Tips, is distributed through schools nationwide. She lives with her husband and their three children in Washington State, where she serves on an education advisory council and is the school PTA president.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (November 11, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0809228475
• ISBN-13: 978-0809228478
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #102,863 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

100 of 102 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Parenting book for those of us who dislike Parenting Books, December 1, 1999

By A Customer

I offered to review this book, as I love to read new material but didn't think it would be something that I would recommend. Although a mom in my 30's I am not into this generation's "granola parenting". I don't believe in parenting by the book or running to a book every time that a problem arises with my children. The book arrived two days before Christmas and it was set aside in the bustle of the season. When life returned to normal I sat down, book and coffee in hand, and began to read.

From the first page it was obvious that I had judged this book wrong. Out of this book jumped a new, wonderful, and inventive idea in parenting books. It is not cut-and-dry: "you did this wrong, you must do this to fix it." No, something much more creative and helpful treated me that day. A book chock full of ideas...good ideas. And not just one, but a few different ideas to resolve a problem as the same problem does not always have the same root.

As the mom of an Eight Year Old bed-wetter, I jumped right to the "B's" (this book is arranged alphabetically, what a simplistic but wonderful idea!) and looked to see what wisdom awaited me. This, like all topics, is broken down into sections: Situation, Think About It, and Solutions.

"SITUATION My child is out of diapers but continues to wet the bed. THINK ABOUT IT Bed-wetting has come out of the closet and is now recoginized as a common childhood problem. Twenty percent of five-year-olds and 10 percent of six-year-olds routinely wet their beds...."

Perfect Parenting, Pages 32 & 33

This particular topic then had not one, but five different solutions depending on age and situation. Most of the ideas we have tried but there were a few new ones that we are working on. Yes, I admit it; I am following an 'advice book'.

This book is not only helpful, but also interesting to read. The broad range of topics amazed me and it was interesting to see problems in print that you thought only your family had. One of my favourites was "Bathroom Jokes". As the mother of a six-year-old son, we have to deal with this quite often!

Other unique topics include:

* Bicycle, care of *Bicycle, won't wear helmet *Car, fighting in back seat *Day Care, cries when left at *Gifts, rude response to *Manners, at meal time *Read, doesn't want to *Telephone Interruptions *Vegetables, won't eat them *Video Games, excessive use of

If you want a book that is not only helpful and insightful but a good entertaining read, this is a wonderful book for you. Elizabeth Pantley has done a wonderful job and changed my mind about Parenting Books.

66 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical, realistic and amazingly helpful, October 20, 2003

By	Mother of the zoo - See all my reviews

With 3 kids very close in age I find this book a very handy resource. Written by a parent educator who is also a mother it's filled with practical solutions.

Under each topic there are multiple creative options that go beyond the typical advice like time out - and they work very well!

A few examples:
Under Siblings, fighting (physcial):
Have the aggressor do a chore for the injured sibling, such as make his bed or take out the trash. (How they love this!)

Under Vegetables, won't eat them:
Sneak vegetables into other foods, such as chopped spinach in meat loaf, peas in tuna salad, grated zucchini in hamburgers or Start calling green vegetables Brain Food and let them know it will make them smarter and stronger.

Under Parents Anger:
If your anger causes you to strike your child you can control your outbursts...channel your physical reaction into a burst of applause. When you feel yourself about to strike, clap your hands, good and hard and fast while you express your feelings of anger. (It sends a very clear message to your child.)

This is a very helpful book and I would highly recommend it.

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent---Find your parenting problem, pick your solution!, August 13, 1999

By A Customer

"Perfect Parenting" is a very handy parenting guide. The book is unique in that it covers each parenting dilemma with not one, but several (and sometimes many), possible solutions. This enables parents to gear solutions to their own parenting style. I found this to be an extremely useful and clever feature.

The book is written in dictionary-style. It's most useful as a resource guide sitting on the shelf patiently awaiting the next parenting conundrum.

I like this format because I hate sitting down and just reading a parenting book. By the time an actual problem arises I've forgotten everything I've read. I would rather use parenting books on an as-needed basis rather than reading them from cover-to-cover. "Perfect Parenting" fits this bill "perfectly."

I gave the book the acid test and used it immediately on some of my own parenting situations. We had the little matter of siblings disrespecting each other on a daily--hourly?--basis and I found some helpful hints under "Siblings, hateful emotions" (no, I'm not making this category up--kinda scary, but it fit my situation).

This little exercise did, however, point out one of the book's shortcomings regarding basic organization. The book has no index (one of my personal literary pet peeves) which makes it more difficult to find information. The book does have a comprehensive index-like table of contents, but in my opinion it does not replace the need for a true index.

But don't let this small quibble discourage you from this book. Overall, the book is excellent and I have turned to it many times.

BOTTOM LINE: It's a buy. Keep it handy for all those challenging parenting moments when your brain can't work fast enough!