Raising Resilient Children : Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child (Paperback)

by Robert Brooks (Author), Sam Goldstein (Author) "As we watch, wonder, and worry about our children and ourselves, most parents agree that our children require a healthy dose of resilience but are..." (more)
Key Phrases: resilient mindset, changing negative scripts, praise deficit, Principle One, Principle Three, Obstacle One (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Child psychologists Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein are too humble to promise a "sure bet" method for fostering resilience in all children, but their book Raising Resilient Children certainly does an impressive job of upping the ante. The authors open their comprehensive study with two bold questions: Why do many parents insist on pointing out their child's weaknesses and try--in vain--to mend these, when harnessing the child's strengths bolsters self-esteem? And how can parents change their erring ways to help these kids become thoughtful, confident adults? Their answer is a wisely crafted set of 10 essential parenting behaviors ("guideposts")--a prescription of sorts, for nurturing resilience in kids. Ironically, it's the parents who may reap the greatest rewards from putting these guideposts to work.

Drawing heavily from 50 years of combined clinical practice, Brooks and Goldstein conclude that a child's resilience grows its deepest roots in the home, nurtured by parents who incorporate healthy doses of empathy, practical optimism, respect, unconditional love, keen listening skills, and the patience to administer these values every day. Sounds logical, but the gap between knowledge and action is deceptively wide. The authors knowingly share a caseload of tales from their own clients' histories--familiar scenarios of well-meaning parents who say and do counterproductive things. But they also present a treasury of suggestions for righting the wrongs, including detailed steps for rewriting negative parenting scripts, teaching and modeling empathy, and creating opportunities for kids to act responsibly and compassionately. This timely, insightful book will prove an effective tool for parents who are willing to scrutinize--and improve upon--their own resilience. --Liane Thomas --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly
In this practical handbook for parents, clinical psychologists Brooks and Goldstein draw on their considerable experience working with children and families to demonstrate that parents' core goal should be to instill in their children a sense of inner recourse. "A resilient child is an emotionally healthy child, equipped to successfully confront challenges and bounce back from setbacks," they contend, and to this end they provide 10 parenting "guideposts" for nurturing the kind of resilience that helps children thrive. From being empathic, to teaching problem-solving, to identifying "islands of competence" in order to help a child experience success, to editing and eliminating what the authors call "negative scripts" (what parents hear themselves saying and doing repeatedly, "with negligible beneficial results"), the guideposts are clearly delineated, first outlined in the introductory chapter and then expanded in individual chapters. In "Accepting Our Children for Who They Are," for instance, the authors discuss important abstractions--mapping out different personality types in children, addressing parental fears of being "mismatched" with their children--and then pack a practical punch with "Four Steps to Developing an Accepting Mindset with Your Child." An abundance of real-life examples encountered in the authors' own practices further helps to unite principle and theory with action, and while the subject-specific chapters encourage browsing, the down-to-earth strategies ensure that this title will be used as well as read. Though the book's straightforward, collaborative "we" yields a slightly lackluster voice, ultimately it doesn't impede the transmission of this truly valuable material.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (August 28, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0809297655
• ISBN-13: 978-0809297658
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #29,608 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Sensible Guidance towards Positive Change, April 4, 2005

By	LaurieLove - See all my reviews

I just had the pleasure of hearing author, Robert Brooks speak at our school about nurturing sef-esteem and resilience in our children. I found his parent friendly book to have the same warm tone that he conveys in person. His lessons and opinions are documented with true case studies and anecdotes from his professional career and peppered with a welcome sense of humor. I am learning to be a more authoritative parent with the specific, practical guidance offered in this book and I see a definite positive change in the way we as parents are communicating with our children. This book has been the key tool in helping us empower our grade school children (10 and 12) with a better attitude towards adversity. If you have toddlers or preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's), we also highly recommend "The Pocket Parent" as a very compatible guide to "Raising Resilient Children". Both books view "Discipline" and "Punishment" as very different procedures and both offer many positive strategies to communicate and discipline (teach children right from wrong) WITHOUT yelling, bribing, nagging, threatening, criticising and punishing. The authors of both books feel we often spend too much time remediating the weaknesses of our children and not enough time identifiying their strengths and seeing that they have ample opportunities to succeed in what they are passionate about and good at. Both authors believe that it is not only important what you need to say to your children, but HOW you choose to say it that can make the difference. We recommend both "RAISING RESILIENT CHILDREN" and "THE POCKET PARENT" for home and school libraries for parents.

23 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars "Good parenting" from a cognitive-behavioral viewpoint, June 18, 2003

By	Stephen Armstrong (Hadley, Ma USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The authors, both clinical psychologists and professors, state ten principles which they believe lead to "resilience" in children. Resilience is defined as "the ability of a child to deal more effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity, and trauma, to set clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to relate comfortably with others, and to treat oneself and others with respect" (p. 1)

These ten principles are "idealized" child "mindsets," which parental behavior supports. The authors do not criticize parents for not supporting their children all the time. Instead, they give numerous suggestions and examples of what a parent can do to improve their communication with their children.

The tone of this book is "talky" and easy to read. Perhaps 2/3rds of the examples are about children; the rest, adolescents. Almost all examples come from the authors' extensive psychotherapy and family therapy practices.

I have some quibbles with the logic of some of their conclusions, but, in general, parents will find this an easy and helpful read. Although the topic of "resilience" is a part of the newly emerging field of "social-emotional learning" (SEL), educators will find this book harder to use. The children in the examples attend schools, but there is no description of how to implement a resilience curriculum.

The authors also publish a workbook, "Raising resilient children: A curriculum to foster strength, hope, and optimism in children." This workbook is tied to a video that the authors have produced (but which is not sold with the workbook; the video must be ordered from the publisher and I have not seen it on Amazon.com). This workbook provides exercises with which they can build the competence to support their children. This workbook also gives the gist of their argument, and teaches parents directly how to implement the skills to support their child.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive and Helpful, July 12, 2002

By	Rondalyn V. Whitney (Santa Clara, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Raising Resilient Children : Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child (Hardcover)

As an occupational therapist and mom of a child with a unique learning style, this book has helped me articulate abstract thoughts that help children, in real time, with real issues, succeed. Parents find the book's ideas profound but the tone simple enough to easily implement. As a therapist, I find ideas to integrate into treatment and to help me explain to parents their role in supporting their child's ultimate success or failure. I think families would be so much more successful if this were required reading before they brought their bundles home from the hospitals.