The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex (Paperback)

by Joshua Piven (Author), David Borgenicht (Author), Jennifer Worick (Author) "Watch for the following: A Caucasian male in hid twenties or thirties..." (more)
Key Phrases: bedroom survival skills, scenario survival handbook

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
In The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (1999), Piven, Borgenicht and Worick taught readers how to escape from quicksand and jump from bridges. It's relatively simple to calculate a shark's actions, they say, but human nature is much less predictable. Here, they tell single listeners how to get away from "Mr. or Ms. Wrong." Punctuated with cheesy synthesizer music akin to a demo on a Casio keyboard, Hamilton first gives a disclaimer "breaking a heart is one thing; breaking the law is another" then, in a matter-of-fact style, she tells how to deal with the hazards of romance from bars and bedrooms to airplane lavatories. As if reading from a driving manual, she tells listeners how to remove difficult articles of clothing, fake an orgasm, deal with a drunken date, handle a bad kisser and deliver a pick-up line. Wondering if your date is an axe murderer? Find out if he was sexually abused as a child and has an obsession with matches. Not sure of the gender of your date? Look at his or her hand and be suspicious of baggy clothing. Need to sober up fast? Avoid aspirin and drink lots of water. Although much of this advice sounds silly, the authors' suggestions are completely serious, and Hamilton delivers them that way, e.g., straightforwardly explaining how to spot breast implants by checking out www.implantinfo.com.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.

From Library Journal
Expertly read by Laura Hamilton, this amusing and, at times, scary book follows the general outline of the other "worst-case" titles. Experts offer insights on many common and uncommon disasters that can occur when people date and enter into, or fall out of, relationships. This tape is definitely geared toward consenting adults (how to have sex in small spaces), yet it also offers practical information for someone just entering or reentering the dating scene (how to deal with a bad kisser; what to do if your credit card is declined). Ethics sometimes takes a back seat to practical considerations: for instance, searching your lover's belongings to determine if he/she is married. While certainly the tone of the book makes for humorous listening, a lot of the advice is very sensible and covers issues not easily found in other resources. One won't be able to create a healthy relationship using this audio; one will gain insight on how to slide out of a bad one. Recommended for public libraries where the series is popular. - Kathleen A. Sullivan, Phoenix P.L.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Chronicle Books (October 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0811832414
• ISBN-13: 978-0811832410
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #170,907 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

• This item is part of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Series.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Take Your Ax and Body Odor Elsewhere . . . Whoever You Are!, December 1, 2001

By	Professor Donald Mitchell "Jesus Makes Me a P... (Boston) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)

"Warning . . . Breaking a heart is one thing -- breaking the law is another." In the spirit of fun, this book does describe all sorts of illegal activities that you should not indulge in (being an ax murderer, escaping restaurants without paying, and making whoopee in an airplane lavatory). But you will probably enjoy the fantasy of escaping from these circumstances while reading the book!

The book's key point is that you will "find out how to survive dozens of physically and emotionally threatening situations in bars, restaurants, bedrooms, or airplane lavatories." This is important because "human nature is much less predictable than Mother Nature."

Like the other two worst-case survival handbooks, this one comes with many helpful illustrations to help you follow the advice.

Here are some of my favorite sections: How to determine the gender of your date (without removing any clothing); how to tell if you date is married; what to do if you run into an obsessive ex on a date; how to fake an intense sexual experience; how to find out the name of the person you are in bed with when you've forgotten their name; how to stop a wedding of someone you want to marry; a section of useful excuses; pick up lines not to use; and fending off unwanted admirers in a bar (which includes many ways to spill drinks on them).

More than the other two handbooks, this book is filled with advice that you may actually want to use some day (like how to stop someone from snoring, getting rid of excess gas, dealing with a declined credit card when you have no cash with you, and breaking up with someone in a considerate way).

I only found one area where I thought the advice was wrong. There's a section on how to tell if another person is a con artist. There is advice drawn from neuro-linguistic programming that suggests that people who look to the left are lying. Actually, in most right handed people, looking left or up to the left usually means that they are remembering a visual image, or something that they have heard. If a right handed person looks right or up to the right, there is some imaginative activity going on . . . not necessarily a lie. The person may not have an experience in this area. Reverse these directions for most left-handed people. For ambidextrous people, good luck!

I think that this book is not only valuable for most people who are dating, it would also make a wonderful gift for roommates to give to each other (when of an appropriate age to appreciate the references to sexual situations as well-meant humor).

For guys, if the advice doesn't work out, you will also find out how to handle black eyes, meeting with police officers, and getting out on bail!

Appreciate the potential humor of every situation . . . even on bad dates!!

39 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars NO JOKE! Serious advice on funny situations!, December 22, 2001

By	Steve Nakamoto "Writer's Digest Award Winning... (Huntington Beach, California USA) - See all my reviews

This is my favorite "Worst-Case" book and probably the most practical. I think it will make a great gift for the holidays. It makes for interesting reading and is a conversational piece. If you wanted to, I'm sure that you could read the whole book in a couple of hours.

Some of the advice is very practical, helpful and important for serious dating like: How to Determine If Your Date is Married, How to Deal with Bad Breath, How to Deal with a Drunken Date, How to Survive If You Are Stopped by the Police, and How to Survive Snoring.

Others are mostly amusing (especially the diagrams!) like: How to Determine the Gender of Your Date, How to Escape From a Bad Date, How to Spot a Fake (Boob job and hair pieces), How to Fend Off Competition For Your Date, and How to Remove Difficult Clothing...and of course the faking of the Big "O".

Some things that are in the book may not be such a good idea in the first place like How to Have an Affair and Not Get Caught. Maybe you can avoid the whole problem by not having an affair, right?

And the bit about How to Determine if Your Date is a Con-Artist...the entire thing about the eye patterns is such a bunch of neuro-baloney. Trust your intuition and if he seems kind of weird then he probably is.

All in all this is a fun read, a great gift, a practical guide to a few situations that may apply to you or one of your friends, and if you live on the dating "edge", this probably can save your behind....at least temporarily until you wise up.

Like a professional baseball player, this book helps an enlightened woman anticipate rare situations so that she can respond with action instead of react in panic. And for this, we can be thankful that this book exists.

In today's pop culture society, I'm sure this is destined to be a National Best-Seller.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable but lacking, February 20, 2002

By	Homer Jay (Springfield, USA) - See all my reviews

While this book is a great resource and contains many, many, useful hints, it doesn't quite live up to its potential. My friends and I all agree the "worst-case scenario" would be having someone on a date and running into someone else you are dating, when neither person has been introduced previously. This book not only skirts this scenario, it ignores it with full force. All the other hints are helpful, and the discussions of pickup lines to avoid, body language and escapes are all worthy reading, but the book falls just short of 5 thumbs up.