The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage (Paperback)

~ Maurice Lamm (Author) "The story is told that a Roman matron once asked Rabbi Yose: "How has your God been occupying his time since He finished the creation..." (more)
Key Phrases: doubtful mamzer, hakhnassat kallah, helpmeet opposite, Yom Kippur, Celebrating the Marriage Covenant, Sheva Berakhot (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A stimulating and thought-provoking book." -- The New Review

"A stupendous work that every Jewish family should read and that should be required reading for all those contemplating marriage." -- Heritage

"A welcome arrival...Will enlighten those from varied backgrounds." -- Judaica Book News

"A welcome arrivalWill enlighten those from varied backgrounds." -- Judaica Book News

"By presenting the institutions of marriage in the light of the traditions and laws of the Bible with respect to romantic love, premarital sex, homosexuality, interfaith marriage, and extramarital affairs, and by allowing those traditions and laws to speak for themselves as their principles are applied to our own times, Maurice Lamm synthesizes the values of the Jewish concept of marriage which encourages both durability and excitement. The questions of preferences and prohibitions in finding a marriage partner, the purposes of marriage, the rights and obligations of each partner, and a detailed description of all the events before, during, and after the marriage ceremony itself are beautifully illuminated. A meaningful gift in celebration of the rededication of husband and wife, each to the other." -- Jewish World

Product Description

The author of the widely heralded Jewish Way in Death and Mourning succeeds in authoring an eminently readable and impressively documented book on love and marriage in the Jewish tradition. With the traditions and laws of the Bible as his base, Rabbi Lamm portrays the great effort Judaism has expended in creating and maintaining the institution of marriage. He shows how indispensable it is to society as a whole and to the Jewish community in particular. He summarizes the traditional views of marriage and explores the outward symbols, practices, and customs of the traditional wedding ceremony, explaining their significance. At the same time, he breaks new ground by clarifying and applying Jewish law to such topics as premarital sex, homosexuality, and mixed marriages.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Jonathan David Publishers (January 1, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0824603532
• ISBN-13: 978-0824603533
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #790,635 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended for Jewish men and women getting married, July 9, 1998

By	[e-mail] (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

If you are Jewish and want to get married read this book first. It covers the wedding and related issues as well as the question of how to know whom to marry in a clear pleasant fashion. I read this after I met my wife, in preparation for the wedding so that I would fully understand the wedding day and all the other issues. Reading and understanding the material in this book really enhanced the very special day of our wedding and laid the foundations for our marriage together.

Rabbi Morris Lamm is a well-known and well-regarded author of books on Jewish practice. Regardless of the level of one's observance, this book is well worth reading and owning.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Return to Values, August 6, 2003

By	Chava79 (USA) - See all my reviews

A secular view of intimacy and marriage has become pervasive in today's society. High divorce rates and low marriage satisfaction are all too common, it is evident that something is wrong. Fortunately, there is hope for those willing to follow traditional, time-tested principles. Maurice Lamm provides sound adviced based on biblical principles and Jewish law. This book contains a great deal of information on a variety of topics.

If you are a single Jew, this book will help you know what your responsiblities are and what you should look for in a future mate. If you have already decided on your spouse, this book is useful for the practical information it gives about Jewish Marriage.

Thank you Rabbi Lamm for supporting biblicals morales in a time when they are not valued enough in our society!

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gems of inspiration set in metal, May 30, 2005

By	Anne T. Gilman (Schenectady, NY USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I'm so glad I got this book, even though I don't hold to the legal strictures in Chapter 5. Chapter 8, "Jewish Insights Into Marriage", is worth the price of admission: "Marriage is the natural home of love", says Rabbi Lamm, and then presents the considered and road-tested advice of the sages about how to make commitment last, and why.

I read other sections with trepidation (being a feminist and not so high on the ladder of observance) and found such beautiful material attesting to centuries of recognition that a wife is not property, but a person made in the image of G-d.

Chapter 6, "Qualities of the Ideal Mate", speaks first of compassion, including compassion towards animals -- going all the way back to Rebekah (Rivka). I'd like to show that chapter to some of the adolescents in my life. And at the same time, reading his explanation of what modesty (tzniut) of character means, I have more appreciation for women who choose to cover their hair.

This is not the ultimate checklist book, but I really like Part Five, where the author fills in the history of each component ceremony of a Jewish wedding. Actually, the reason I bought this book is because I didn't like the current century's spin on the veiling ritual (bedeken). The classic explanations (set forth at the end of Ch.14) do much more both to respect the bride as an individual and to focus on the specialness of the link between bride and groom.

That same chapter goes over every detail of the traditional ketubah, line by line... Anyone who is passionate about the rights of women could find inspiration in those details, especially when you figure for how many centuries wives were still chattel in British and other legal systems. Or you can skip the details and just glance at the headings in Ch. 10. The ideas come through.

To broaden out from this book, particularly for Conservative, Reform, or interfaith couples, do try Anita Diamant's "New Jewish Wedding" (it's probably on the screen right now) and/or Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer's "Creative Jewish Wedding Book" for some beautiful artwork, inclusive translations, and other goodies. Either of those books would be an affirming resource for same-sex couples, to balance this one.

But pretty much anyone who thinks there's value in marriage and who finds some wisdom in the Bible could find something to inspire them in this book, like in Ch. 9's celebration of companionship. Of course, if you have the time to read through the Talmud and Rambam and all that yourself, no problem! But for me, I'm very happy Rabbi Lamm brought these gems together in this thoughtful book.