The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery (Paperback)

~ (Author) "In the epigraph that opens this book (page 1), Thomas Merton tells us what he considers the most important thing in the whole world-that on..." (more)
Key Phrases: transformational knowing, sin tendencies, personal knowing, Thomas Merton, Divine Presence, Some Christians (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In contrast to other books filled with drive-through pop psychology and sound-bite spirituality, Benner, a psychologist and spiritual director, offers an impressively deep and challenging introduction to Christian self-discovery in a little more than 100 pages. The foundational premise is that true knowledge of God and true knowledge of oneself are inextricably intertwined. For those who view such an approach as simply an accommodation to our culture's obsession with self, Benner provides a multitude of quotes from historic, respected theologians such as Augustine and John Calvin. He offers a clear and practical outline for those seeking to begin the lifelong process of knowing God and knowing themselves in an authentic way. As a gift to Christian counselors everywhere, Benner explains the difference between authentic self-discovery and most psychological approaches. Without mentioning names, he uses the stories of "fallen" Christian leaders to illustrate how some Christians' well-intentioned avoidance of self-discovery can become a deadly snare. His discussion of accepting our flaws and sins as a necessary step to transformation is a model of lucidity. Although self-knowledge is the subject, it becomes clear that transformation is the ultimate goal both of this book and of the journey it invites readers to begin.
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Review

"Benner, a psychologist and spiritual director, offers an impressively deep and challenging introduction to Christian self-discovery." -- —Publishers Weekly (starred review), January 26, 2004

"David Benner guides us to a place of wisdom and devotion with this beautiful book." -- —Mark R. McMinn, Rech Professor of Psychology, Wheaton College, and author of Why Sin Matters

"It is a rare kind of book that combines wisdom about faith and understanding about the self." -- —John Ortberg, author and teaching pastor, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, Menlo Park, California

"Rarely do I suggest a book in spiritual direction with the exception of the sacred Scriptures." -- —David I. Donovan, S.J., Provincial Assistant for Formation, New England Province of the Society of Jesus

"This is a book that felicitously weaves together the insights of psychology and Christian spirituality." -- Margaret Guenther, author of Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 120 pages
• Publisher: InterVarsity Press (February 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830832459
• ISBN-13: 978-0830832453
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.5 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #51,640 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Must Read, June 28, 2004

By A Customer

Perhaps the best book on Christian Identity I've read and the best book I've read this year. Benner drives home the profound yet paradoxically simple nature of our relationship to self and others through our relationship with the Divine. In "The Gift of Being Yourself" Benner outlines practical ways to improve your relationship with the Divine and through relationship with the Divine begin to understand our true self and calling. I read this after reading Benner's "Surrender to Love." The two go hand-in-hand, but I recommend reading "The Gift of Being Yourself" before reading "Surrender to Love" (just my opinion).

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and Helpful Guide to a Journey of Biblical Self-Discovery, December 29, 2006

By	Todd Hudnall (Colorado Springs, CO) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

"The Gift of Being Yourself" is an exceptional investigation of the subject of self-identity. The author, David Benner, is able to masterfully bridge the Biblical paradox of death-to-self and self-discovery. He writes, "For if we find our true self we find God, and if we find God, we find our most authentic self." We don't find our true self by seeking self-identity but by seeking God.

Benner sees our identity not as a creation but as a discovery and as a gift from God. By discovering and living our uniqueness, we fulfill our destiny. The purpose of the book is to assist people in the transformational journey of becoming their true self in Christ and living out the vocation that this involves. To do so we must know ourselves as known by God. In knowing ourselves and knowing God we can experience the gift of being ourselves.

The author contends that through self-deception, we tend to confuse our true self with some ideal self we wish we were. We adopt mask that portray us differently than who we authentically are. Self-discovery is not to escape reality but to commit to it. We must decide to accept what is really there and accept ourselves as we are and accept God as He is, not how we would want each to be. Spiritual transformation does not result from fixing our problems. Our sin nature is not self-fixable. Instead, spiritual transformation results from turning to God in the midst of our problems and meeting God just as we are.

It starts by coming to know God. If we come to know God, we come to know love, and to love God is to know God. It's not simply knowing about God, but it is personally meeting God in Jesus. To do so Benner recommends Spirit-guided meditation of the Gospels and meeting God in the events of life through prayerfully reviewing each day. Benner puts a high value on solitude throughout the process of self-discovery. He gives instruction and insights into carrying out these disciplines.

All of us tend to reject our true self that is created in the likeness of God. Instead we chose a way independent of God that is our false self. This false-self is created out of placing my value in what I have, what I do and what people think of me, rather than in God's loving acceptance of me. If we do not want to live in bondage to our false-self we must be prepared to be other than our image of our self. We must allow God to embrace us just the way we really are.

Coming to know and trust God's love is a lifelong process. It begins by letting God know our desire to experience His perfect love. We must allow God to accept us just as we are and enable us to accept ourselves. In doing this we dare to allow God access to the dark parts of our soul. Self-acceptance always precedes genuine self-surrender and self-transformation.

Following a discovery of our authentic self, Benner then moves into a discovery of our vocation. Our vocation is always a response to a Divine call to take our place in the Kingdom of God. It always involves the care of God's creation and people, moving us to humility, love, self-sacrifice and stewardship. From Luke 4 Benner wonderfully explains that Jesus' understanding of vocation came out of wrestling with God, himself and the devil in the solitude of the wilderness.

"The Gift of Being Yourself" is a thoughtful, practical, and easy read. It is not the definitive textbook for self-discovery nor does it fully answer all of the questions. Yet, the small investment of time you spend reading the book may provide just what you've needed to begin the journey of self-discovery through an encounter with God.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book speaks to the heart, December 26, 2006

By	Dianne "bookgirl" (Western PA) - See all my reviews

On its own, discovering ourself could be quite dangerous. David Benner puts the importance of knowing one's self in proper perspective. It's not "who I am," but "who I am in Christ." Who I am in Christ is a beloved creation of God, fraught with sinfulness but loved nevertheless. Knowing this is the starting point for allowing God, trusting God to have his will in my life. It is at the same time reassuring and humbling. It does not go against the teachings of Christ and Paul when they said we must deny ourselves, and be crucified with Christ. If I don't accept who I am in Christ, how can I possibly deny myself?