When Love Dies How To Save A Hopeless Marriage (Paperback)

by Judy Bodmer (Author) "I was married in a small town in northern Idaho..." (more)
Key Phrases: unforgiving heart, stinking thinking, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Marriage Encounter (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

When Love Dies is a refreshing, honest look at one woman's journey to the edge of divorce, her commitment to stay even though she didn't feel like it, and eventual rediscovery of the love that she thought died.

Product Details

• Paperback: 196 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (July 22, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0849937140
• ISBN-13: 978-0849937149
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #73,677 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

161 of 164 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that gives hope, May 7, 2003

By	Kristina M. Wolf "daisy_in_spain" (San Antonio, TX) - See all my reviews

I had come to the brink of divorcing my husband but something kept telling me that divorce wasn't the answer. However, I was miserable in the relationship and continuing on the way things were was not going to work. I was very bitter and resentful towards my husband, who I felt at the time had abandoned me emotionally. I really felt like if I divorced him, I would never marry again because he had ruined the romantic notion of marriage I had once had. My faith in love and kindness was non-existent. God must have led me to this book during one of my endless online searches for guidance and advice about my situation. The title of the book seemed perfect for me because on the surface, I really didn't care any more to repair my marriage. I was emotionally exhausted but I thought deep-down that I really didn't want to divorce my husband. I wanted HIM to do all the work to repair our marriage because I was TIRED. Reading this book, I cried with RELIEF. Judy Bodmer must have been quoting my thoughts when she wrote this book. Nearly everything she went through, I had experienced as well. It is very comforting to know that there is hope for you when you see how well things turned out for her after things had once appeared so hopeless. I find her advice particularly refreshing, especially the section on forgiveness. She doesn't tell you to be a martyr and in fact advises you NOT to be one. If you aren't ready to forgive your spouse, just say, "I'm not ready yet." But if you ARE ready, that's it. You let it all go and don't bring up the past wrong-doing again. Judy Bodmer also acknowledges that the urge to bring up past wrong-doings is going to happen again and again because we are human but she uses references from the Bible to help you through these moments. Although the book has some strong Christian-based beliefs throughout it, that should not deter a person from buying the book and benefitting from it if he or she is not Christian. There is no "bible-thumping" going on and her themes of forgiveness and personal accountability in relationships is universal. This book restored my faith in love and has helped me on the road to healing and honestly LOVING my husband as I realized I didn't before. For these reasons, I consider this book a priceless resource. I'd give it six stars if I could.

67 of 68 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Guys!! Read this book!!!! Excellent and powerful, March 3, 2005

By	H. Ralph Perez "Ralph in Idaho" (Idaho Falls, Idaho USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have to say that this book was a real eye opener to me. I'm the husband who is sleeping in the basement because my wife needs the "space and the time" to heal her wounds from a 25 year marriage that she feels has been terrible. I was completely lost and reading everything about marriage and how to build it stronger and also how to have a solid relationship with my wife. Even now, I struggle as I wait for her to heal. I see small steps. This book helped me to see things from her perspective. The author has a wonderful way of explaining the facts and what needs to be done on her part. It also, and maybe this is mostly what this book did for me, helped me to know how I could improve and make the healing easier to do for her. Now, it ain't easy, but if you love your wife, you WILL DO IT! Good luck and may you be successful in your endeavor to save your marriage. This book will give you peace and will settle your anxieties.

48 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book was written with me in mind, March 19, 2004

By A Customer

Judy Bodmer hit the nail on the head. I felt trapped in a hopeless marriage destined to fail. I was on the edge ready to throw in the towel. The only thing that kept me from leaving was how it would affect the children. I remember the abandonment I felt when my parents divorced, and I didn't want my girls to experience that pain. I've searched for a book that would give me a good reason to stick it out in this loveless marriage. I found this book. This book was speaking to me like nothing I had ever read before. It was as if she was speaking about my life. What I learned about myself through reading this book is that I've been putting up many emotional barricades which made it almost impossible for me to get close to anyone including my husband. I didn't want to give up control of my emotions for fear of being crushed by an unloving husband. I found that I was not forgiving my husband for hurting me, although I was doing to same thing to him. This book does not point the finger at women for what's failing in the marriage, but it certainly opened my eyes about what I have been doing to sabatoge the relationship.