Boys Will Be Men (Paperback)

by Paul Kivel (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
While the women's liberation movement produced dynamic changes in society's assumptions about girls' roles, little has changed about our attitude toward the role of boys. Yet the cycle of violence and oppression, specifically that which is killing so many young people and especially boys, will not stop until boys are raised to become part of the struggle to end it.

Drawing on his decades of experience as a social activist and his anti-violence work with men and teens, Kivel challenges the traditional training boys receive. He sorts out and helps parents grapple with the complex forces in our sons' lives, including racism, homophobia, pornography, drugs, classism, consumerism, sex, and living in violent environments. Then, Kivel provides the practical tools to empower boys to take the courageous step out of the "act like a man" box and become allies to themselves, each other, and all those who are vulnerable to violence and injustice in our society. The end result gives the reader a powerful vision of raising our sons to be the critically thinking, socially-invested men we need for a multicultural and democratic society.

Boys will Be Men is for all parents who have a vision of a society where peace and justice exist; for parents raising their sons in economically disadvantaged communities; for feminists who feel confused about raising their sons, and for parents of color who need to add their sons' strength to their communities.

Paul Kivel is the author of Men's Work (1998, Ballantine) and Uprooting Racism (1996, New Society Publishers, 0-86571-338-3). He is the founder of the nationally recognized Oakland's Men's Project and has conducted hundreds of workshops on racism and anti-violence for teens and men all over the country. He lives with his partner and their daughter and two sons in Oakland, California.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

What Kind of Boys Do We Want To Raise?
Why Boys
What Do Men Stand For?
Boys Will Be Men
Question Everything

PART 1: PARENTING

Chapter 1: Male Socialization
How Different Are Boys and Girls?
Gender as a Social Construction
The "Act Like a Man" Box
What Kind of Men

About the Author
Paul Kivel is the founder of the Oakland's Men's Project and has conducted hundreds of workshops on racism and anti-violence for teens and men all over the USA. He lives in Oakland, California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: New Society Publishers (August 15, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0865713952
• ISBN-13: 978-0865713956
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #781,893 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding anti-violence resource for schools & parents, May 25, 2000

By	Stuart Chen-Hayes (Bronx, NY) - See all my reviews

Paul Kivel has done it again with this excellent, pragmatic piece on how to challenge the forces that harm young men (and young women) in schools and families. As a professor of school and family counseling, I am always searching for pragmatic, effective, down-to-earth resources that will assist students, parents, counselors, teachers, and all others concerned about our youth. Kivel brings his substantial experience as an anti-oppression educator and activist from his work with the Oakland Men's Center into his latest work. Having seen him do his workshops live, knowing his unique abilities to affirm boys and men across all cultural identities, this work continues his excellent pragmatic scholarship in creating safe schools and families for all. Highly recommended and I have adopted it for use in my school counseling courses.

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Thought-provoking book for parents raising boys, April 21, 2000

By	Amy J - See all my reviews

This book is fascinating in more ways than one. It dicusses the many social and family pressures on boys growing up in America, and how we can relieve some of these pressures so that our sons can grow up to be mature, sensitive adults. It includes such issues as showing emotions, competitiveness in sports, homophobia, teenage relationships, violence on TV and in video games, and family values. It offers many opportunities for the adults reading the book to think about and discuss their own feelings on their upbringings and personal morals, and shows how these aspects can shape boys. It doesn't offer any answers, but rather asks the questions in such a way that readers can make their own decisions about topics.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Ask yourself?, February 17, 2005

By	Mark Twain "Sam" (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews

All of Kivel's review ratings are extremely high on Amazon except for the one's that deal directly with confronting socialized male behavoir. My fellow reviewers have not only expressed fears about their son getting beat up and not surving in a man's world, but have justified violence as biological. I think there is a symptom at work here and it isn't our genetic make up, but our society's complete inability to question male dominance and hold men accountable for their behavoir. Men choose to hit their wives and claim they had a bad day at work -why not hit your boss? Domestic and sexual violence are considered "women's issues" and yet the overwhelming majority of cases are caused by men. But even worse is that we don't take a look at why we do this, we defer the blame to someone else, justify it away, or claim that this is the only way to survive as men - and so we pass it on to our children for them to repeat our mistakes.