Telling Each Other the Truth (Paperback)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Truth Spoken in Love, Not Harshness, Can heal the Hurts Between People.

In his bestselling Telling Yourself the Truth, William Backus showed that biblical truth, properly believed and used, has power to bring emotional health to people. Now in Telling Each Other the Truth, he demonstrates that truth can also heal relationships. Truth heals the hurts between people as well as the hurts inside them.

Developing principles that bring health and strength to interpersonal relationships, Dr. Backus provides the reader with:

Insight for speaking the truth in love rather than accusation and defensiveness.

Methods to avoid manipulating.

The freedom to say no.

Keys to listening to what others are saying.

Skills to help wrap the truth in love.

Training in social conversation truth seasoned with salt.

What a difference it makes when we know what to say, how to say it, and when the time is right.

About the Author

Dr. William Backus offers practical help and training to those who want to learn effective and loving interpersonal communication. "It seemed to me," Backus said, "that many people were talking to one another without much concern for the truth and love in what they were saying, and thus weakening the power of communication in the home, the Church, and other communities.

He received a B.A. and a Bachelor of Divinity degree at Concordia Seminary, St. Louis, Missouri. After receiving the degree of Master of Sacred Theology, he was called to serve as pastor of St. Paul's Lutheran Church, St. Louis. In 1956, he began serving a Lutheran Parish in Pleasant Hill, California.

In 1963, Backus was awarded the generous Wheat Ridge Scholarship for psychological studies, and in 1969 received the Ph.D. degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Minnesota, Minneapolis.

After five years on the staff of Hennepin County General Hospital, Minneapolis, Minnesota, where he directed a program of training for clergymen of the area, Backus founded the Center for Christian Psychological Services.

Dr. Backus has conducted follow-up studies of his clients that show a 95% improvement rate, compared to a 67% success rate for other methods of therapy. The difference, Dr. Backus says, is "discovering our misbelief and replacing it with truth."

In addition, he serves as an assistant pastor on the staff of North Heights Lutheran Church, Roseville, Minnesota, where he has founded and directed a lay-staffed free counseling clinic.

Dr. Backus has authored several books, including Telling Yourself the Truth and Why Do I Do What I Don't Want to Do? with Marie Chapian, Telling the Truth to Troubled People, and Finding the Freedom of Self-Control. His latest book, Untwisting Twisted Relationships, offers help to those who would like to mend relationships that have been damaged or broken.

Backus lives with his wife, Candy, in Minnesota. The four Backus children have established homes in various parts of the midwest.

size : 5.2 x 8

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (August 1985)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0871238527
• ISBN-13: 978-0871238528
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #684,846 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Experience Freedom in Communicating With Others!, October 6, 2003

By	Michael Taylor "Michael Taylor" (Indian Trail NC) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Backus' book is a refreshing read to communicate openly and lovingly with others and avoid manipulation.

Among the many important points covered in the book include:

1. When we lose integrity, we become a fraction of the person God created us to be.
2. We fail to receive because we fail to ask.
3. Do's and dont's for criticizing others.
4. Characteristics of loving speech.
5. God does not guarantee we will always be around people who will always act properly.
6. Adding your own self-criticism to a person's critical remarks can stop people in their tracks.
7. Do not pride yourself on not making requests.
8. Attention and compliments are nice, but they do not determine our self-worth.

Read and be encouraged to be less manipulative of others and loving them more!

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most useful books you'll ever read, December 30, 1999

By	Wayne Dobratz (Hampton, Iowa) - See all my reviews

Dr. William Backus has done a great service in writing this book. Many big problems start as small problems, problems that could be solved with proper communication and unconditional love.

Dr. Backus writes that by far the most frequently violated command of Jesus is "When someone sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone." Human nature wishes to tell anyone and everyone else but the person who needs to be confronted lovingly with the truth.

The author uses his experience as a Minister and a Clinical Psychologist to guide the reader through the process of loving confrontation. Chapter titles include: "How to have a good clean fight." "How to Handle Critical People" and "How to say no."

The only qualification you need to benefit from this book is to be a member of the human race who routinely interacts with people. No matter who you are or what your station in life, you will benefit from Dr. Backus' insights.

"Wear the old coat and buy the new book."

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best, Most Practical Book About Communicating, March 12, 2001

By	Edward J Vasicek (Kokomo, IN USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Amazon Verified Purchase

As a minister of 22 years, I first read this book about a dozen years ago. It helped me communicate better to my wife, friends, and congregation.

Since that time, I have loaned copies to numerous people I have counseled (I have a stack of these), and many have been helped through putting this book in practice.

Backus encourages direct and honest communication. He deals with the lies we tell ourselves that keep us from speaking truthfully and directly. Besides aiding in communication skills, the principles mentioned will also increase personal sincerity and integrity.

Practical, easy to read, illustrated with case studies, this is a must read for all Christians.