Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Real Answers to Difficult Men's Issues About Love., August 15, 2002
Here's a book that a truly sincere and mature man can appreciate. While there are so many books written for women about love, there are very few good ones directed toward men. This one, however, is one of those gems. What's great about this book is that it is very male, bottom-line friendly and therefore, speaks the language of its intended audience. As a relationship author myself, I found this book a great help (and confirmation) in understanding what are the most key issues about men, women, and love. Some of the things that I thought were very useful include: * "The Five Stages of Grief" and particularly the last stage called "acceptance." This is one that I overlooked in my life and is one of the most valuable to me personally. * "Inventing the New You" which is about moving forward by learning and growing. The author selects some great books and tapes to help in the recovery phase. I found that most people underrate the value of audio programs, but it is the live audio program format that first got me interested in attending seminars and lectures which I feel have the greatest impact for creating lasting personal change. * "The Psychological Land Mines" which includes a look at what could be early signs of potentially damaging relationships. I found this to be the most informative part of the book. I could go on and on about the different features of the book, but the bottom line is that there is something for every man in this book. For me personally, I think that I respect the author for his personal journey and his willingness to share his brilliant interpretation of how to intelligently go about creating a new love relationship the second time around. Here's a man who has felt the ultimate pain of a love one's death and has turned his life around to enjoy and contribute to another relationship in what seems like a relatively short time. When you read this book, you'll come to appreciate that it comes straight from the heart. There is nothing self-serving about Spouse Trap. For men wanting straight talk about finding love and intimacy, here's a great book for you.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great practical advice, June 20, 2002
Since the advent of the classic self-esteem and self-help books of the 60's and 70's, I haven't read any practical psychology books for decades, my interest being more in the neurobiological side of psychology. But this book's title caught my eye, and I ended up reading much of it the bookstore to get an idea of what it was about.The purpose of the book is two-fold. The first is to help men who are recovering from the loss of a spouse or partner, whether through death or divorce, and to get them through the grief and the loss so that they can go on with the rest of their lives. This is important since one must have dealt effectively with these problems before finding a new relationship, otherwise the emotional hurt and baggage from the old one may be carried over to the new one, with unfortunate consequences for the new partner and relationship. The second goal of the book is to give men useful, practical advice on how to navigate the difficult and often treacherous waters of the modern dating game, and ultimately on how to find a new partner. The book is full of useful tips, advice, and techniques covering the entire dating and relationship field that should be invaluable to the man in search of a partner--whether you are recovering from the loss of an old partner--or looking for a first one. Another thing I liked was the section where the authors discuss several other books that also deal with relationship issues, especially from the woman's point of view, and that should be useful to the hopeful spouse-hunter. I also looked at one of these, entitled Getting to I Do, by Patricia Allen and Sandra Harmon. This book discusses many of the same topics as the present book, only it's written, as I mentioned, from the woman's point of view. If you want to understand better what women want and how they deal with various aspects of the relationship process, and especially the dating game, this is also a good book for getting you to see the woman's side of things. I found both books full of practical and useful advice for both men and women looking for help with the difficult process of dating and ultimately finding that special person and/or relationship.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Not Your Everyday Book on Dating, March 15, 2002
This unusual, very helpful book is by a no-nonsense guy who presents straightforward talk about the real issues of dating and relationship. I find that his combination of practicality and personal experience is savvy, down-to-earth, and useful. "Useful" is the operative word here. I think of the chapters on reinventing yourself after the loss of a mate, strategies for finding and nurturing a new relationship, identifying women who may be emotional time-bombs, and being realistic about STDs. These -- along with subjects like meeting on the Internet, knowing when you're really serious, confronting money issues, fighting, and even breaking up (if things come to that) -- make this a great overall book on relationships. But I think its most notable accomplishment may be this apparent impossibility: it offers, in effect, a basic, practical course for men on romance. How rare is that? "Build a Better Spouse Trap" says it's for men who have lost a wife to death or divorce, but it also turns out to be one terrific guide to creating a successful relationship, full of practical understanding for both men and women, whatever their circumstances may be.
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