Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say: Destroying Myths, Creating Love (Hardcover)

by Warren Farrell (Author) "In my first book, The Liberated Man, I shared my feelings about the importance of independent women for secure men and the contribution of the..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York Times, Lace Curtain, United States (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Farrell's useful ideas for improving communication between the sexes may get lost in all the shouting incited by his provocative comments on the effects of the women's movement. As he often reminds his readers, Farrell was a three-time board member of the National Organization for WomenAand bestselling author of The Liberated MaleAbefore he shifted his attention to men's issues in Why Men Are the Way They Are and The Myth of Male Power. He interprets the lack of media interest in the latter two books as censorship by "the Lace Curtain" of feminists who influence media, education, pop culture, government and the helping professions. His latest effort ostensibly offers a structured approach to giving and receiving criticism in intimate partnerships that could also be effective for other kinds of communication. His suggestions include a weekly "sharing and caring evening," in which negative feelings can be constructively expressed, and techniques for focusing on each partner's "best intent." Most of this book, however, addresses male-bashing and man-hating, based on Farrell's analysis of how men are portrayed in cartoons, greeting cards, books, movies and even the New York Times. Taking issue with Arlie Russell Hochschild's findings in The Second Shift that working women still bear the major responsibility for housework, he offers a list of more than 50 kinds of "male housework," often involving danger or heavy lifting, that go unappreciated. While deploring the expression "feminazi," he offers reasons why others might find parallels between the women's movement and the Nazis. Ultimately, Farrell generates more heat than light this time out. (Nov.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal
What a beautiful place our world could be if women and men would really listen, hear, and empathize with each other's emotional perspectives. Expanding on his previous works, Farrell (The Myth of Male Power; Why Men Are the Way They Are) presents a new way of looking at the male/female roles and suggests that miscommunication sabotages relationships. His thought-provoking ideas (for instance, that the myths and stereotypes regarding male power may no longer be valid) will most likely antagonize radical feminists, but he presents convincing evidence to support his theories. The "relationship language" skills presented in Part 1 help to point the way to meaningful dialog between the sexes. An outstanding appendix includes domestic violence studies of both sexes and a summary of their findings. Highly recommended as a very readable and necessary addition to psychology collections in all academic and public libraries.AElizabeth Goeters, Georgia Perimeter Coll., Dunwoody
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Tarcher (October 4, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 087477988X
• ISBN-13: 978-0874779882
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,097,450 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars All caring women should read this book, March 22, 2000

By	Janet Nichols (El Jebel, Colorado) - See all my reviews

When I first read the title "women can't hear what men don't say," I thought to myself "yeah, I can't hear what my boyfriend won't say." I wish he would speak up. After I read this book, I realized that there are alot of men that are afraid to speak up because feminism has swung the pendulum too far. This book was so enlightning and truly opened my eyes. Go to a greeting card rack sometime and see for yourself how many man-bashing cards there are. Do you ever see any women-bashing cards? There was a chapter in this book that actually made me cry because I realized how badly men have been treated in the past few years. Dr. Farrell does a wonderful job expressing what is happening in our culture. Dr. Farrell uses many studies that have been done and uses many examples in the book to get the points across. WOMEN - YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK! As a woman, I ask you to please open your eyes to what is happening in our male-female relationships. Thank you Dr. Farrell for a great book.

44 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for all adult members of the human race!, October 7, 1999

By	Ellen Brown (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Those of us familiar with Farrell's work will agree--this was worth the wait! Those new to Farrell will wonder why they've never read him before! This book helps us clearly see how our gender opinions were formed and how inaccurate and contradictory they can be. Great suggestions for improved communication between the sexes in modern times. Dr. Farrell again uncovers little-known statistics that media and government don't necessarily want us to know which will proove surprising. He then offers us ways to interpret these statistics which have made me much more aware of how insensitive today's popular culture is toward men. Much of the 'male-bashing' humor in the mainstream would be completely unacceptable if directed at other minorities. This book (as all of Dr. Farrell's books) has given me an insight which, as a woman, I would never have been able to have otherwise. Reading it will make men feel better and women better partners. Men, if you read only one 'self help' book this year, make it this one. Then, share it with your signifcant other and watch your relationship improve. Bravo Dr. Farrell. You've done it again.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Outstanding Summary of Gender Equity Issues, November 1, 1999

By A Customer

"Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say" is Dr. Warren Farrell's best book yet. Few people are able to write about the masculist perspective and gender equity issues as well as Dr. Farrell. You have got to read this book! For you readers who are familiar with men's issues, you may be tempted, as I was, to read Part III first. Dr. Farrell continues to challenge us to see gender equity issues from a new and balanced perspective in the articulate and documented style that you will recognize. However, the content is updated with new data and relevance for the 90's and into the new millennium.

Don't skip Part I, the section on communication, and how to give and receive criticism. It is the foundation for Dr. Farrell's work, and sets up the reader to hear what is said in the rest of the book. His work in counseling, communication, and listening is what sets Dr. Farrell apart from the others. He offers a positive approach to greater understanding between men and women by insisting that both sides' perspectives be spoken and heard. He does this without sacrificing or compromising his dedication to exposing men's issues in a clear and balance fashion.

Dr. Farrell even expresses a part of his own "internal story" and struggle in writing from a man's perspective. I have often wondered why men's issues are so difficult to express, and how unreceptive people are to discussing them. It is as if we don't have the words to talk about it or people consider it a taboo subject for fear of retribution (loss of love, ridicule, ostracism). "Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say" explains why it is so difficult for men to express their own "internal story", personal struggles, or to question their obligatory roles of providers and protectors.

Dr. Farrell's personal style and sincere delivery reveals not only his mastery of the issues, but also his conviction and commitment to real gender equity. Dr. Farrell opens the way to honest communication between men and women in a way that will benefit men, women, and children.