Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home (Paperback)

by Dave Barry (Author) "Getting pregnant is an extremely major thing to do, especially for the woman, because she has to become huge and bloated and wear garments the..." (more)
Key Phrases: childbirth classes, Dairy Queen, Mister Rogers, Santa Claus

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
In this classic crack-up of a book, Dave Barry gives his wacky perspective on sex, childbirth, parenting and other forms of slow, cruel torture.

In Babies and Other Hazards of Sex, Dave exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960s that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prisons--to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

Dave also reveals, for the first time in print, the secret chant for painless childbirth.

Then learn why no secret chant could possibly take a woman's mind off the fact that she is in such pain that she wants a gigantic comet to crash into the earth and kill her and her husband and the dotor and the nurses and everyone else in the world.


About the Author
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Miami Herald journalist whose articles appear in hundreds of newspapers each week. He is the author of more than 20 books and lives in Miami, Florida.

Product Details

• Paperback: 96 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books (January 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0878575103
• ISBN-13: 978-0878575107
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 7.9 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #110,663 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Completely accurate, December 1, 2000

By	John L. Velonis (Dobbs Ferry, NY USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

When I first read this, before I had (or even considered having) children, I assumed that it was intended as humor, and I laughed (a lot) at what I imagined were its comic exaggerations. Now that I have a child, I realize that this is in fact a no-nonsense, completely serious and accurate description of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing.

While other baby books mislead you with emotional descriptions of the joy and wonder your "little one" will bring, Dave Barry pulls no punches in his hard-hitting, gritty portrayal of baby behavior. There is a quiz early on whose purpose is to deter prospective parents who may be weak of heart or stomach, with questions such as "How many diapers will an average baby go through before it is toilet-trained?" or "What is the most repulsive thing a baby would put in its mouth?" Those of you who are parents will know the answers. Those of you who are not, be warned: you may think Dave Barry's answers are too outrageous to be true, but you're wrong!

Anyway, this book is an excellent source of information for anyone who is considering having children, or who is considering not having children. It is also useful for those who already have children, as it will reassure them that they are not alone -- though they may wish they had read (and heeded) it sooner.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Move over Dr. Spock! Barry's on the case...whew, thanks!, May 17, 2000

By	Alan R. Holyoak (Idaho) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

Hi all you expectant parents out there. If are like my wife and I, as soon as we learned that we were pregnant my wife immersed herself in Dr. Spock and other "reputable" child care and parenting books. Being of a somewhat different ilk, I undertook my own brand of pre-baby training with this wonderful primer about babies, where they come from, what happens when they get here, why they do what they do, and how to cope with it all as a parent.

Know what? Dave Barry's book is the most readable, enjoyable, and useful introduction to the little people who show up at our homes that I have ever seen. Move over Dr. Spock!

Dave gives advice about diapers and dealing with unsolicited advice on parenting. He also explains in perfectly understandable detail why babies spit up their food (it's the "food-return loop" that causes it), drool, and other typically unexplainable baby behaviors. In addition, there are tips to fathers about when diapers need to be changed, etc.

Read it and weep or laugh out loud, depending on whether your baby's already home or still on the way. This book presents real life...no sugar coating here!

This book also makes a great wedding present!

5 stars, no doubt about it!

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Tragically realistic, chilling in its detail!!!, June 1, 1999

By A Customer

At last, an author willing strip away the pastel, candy-coated mystic of parenthood! If you have children, read this book and know you are not alone. If you're considering having children---RUN AWAY!!!

Seriously, though, like the movie "Parenthood", this book is especially hilarious for those of us who've been there. Right on, Dave!