Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time (Paperback)

by Melody Beattie (Author) "This is a book about recovery..." (more)
Key Phrases: affirm yourself, facing shame, adult children issues, Higher Power, New York, Scott Egleston (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Adult children of alcoholics and drug abusers will want to peruse this encouraging sequel to Beattie's groundbreaking book on the dynamics of codependency ( Codependent No More ). She focuses here on the process of recovering from the self-defeating behaviors adopted as survival tactics by adult children of families rendered dysfunctional by parental alcoholism or similar traumas. Beattie's strength is short, sharply delineated portraits of ordinary people learning to recognize and avoid unhealthy practices--obsessive concern for the welfare of others at one's own expense, lack of self-esteem, etc. The author stresses the practical, offering possible ways to cope with difficulties and suggesting "activities" ("What would a diagram of your recovery look like?") at the end of each chapter. And Beattie maintains the sensitive, supportive tone epitomized in the opening chapter: "Let's love ourselves for how far we've come. Let's see how far we can go." The uninitiated may be put off initially by her jargon, but the author's wisdom and common sense soon become apparent. 175,000 first printing; $125,000 ad/promo; author tour.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Codependency is a term applying not only to the spouses of alcoholics and drug abusers, but to any "person who has let someone else's behavior affect him or her, and is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." In her best-selling Codependent No More , and now here, Beattie draws on her own experience and on the insights developed by a whole U.S. subculture devoted to treatment and to participation in 12-step programs such as AA and Al-Anon. There are a lot of books circulating in this subculture, but Beattie reaches out to the mass market. She covers the usual codependency topics--oneself and one's needs, family of origin, intimacy, boundaries, conflict resolution, children, relationships, and relapse or recycle--but places them all in the infrequently considered context of how to keep going with a recovery process once it's begun.
- Janice Dunham, John Jay Coll. Lib., New York
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 276 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden (April 1, 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0894865838
• ISBN-13: 978-0894865831
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,952 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #1 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Divorce
  #4 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Codependency
  #4 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Mental Health > Codependency

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

65 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is literally a life-changing book for codependents., January 19, 1999

By A Customer

Once Melody Beattie's Codependent No More has been "digested", Beyond Codependency helps to move the recovering codependent past the hurt and on to the business of literally changing behaviors and making a better life. I absolutely recommend this book above any others to recovering codependents.

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This saved my sanity..., June 26, 2000

By A Customer

Wonderful book. It pointed out so many things that I wasn't aware were co-dependant issues that I have. Helped put the answers of why I do the things I do that for so long I lacked. She helps you no longer feel alone. Good book for anyone who is ready to face this and stop it.

34 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good, but lacks the "punch" of CODEPENDENT NO MORE, September 6, 2002

By	Andrew Olivo Parodi (Oregon, United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

This is Melody Beattie's second book and is the sequel to the hugely successful CODEPENDENT NO MORE. If it was the job of the first book to introduce that word - "codependent" - then it is the job of this book to elaborate on the condition and what we are supposed to do with our lives once we are no longer afflicted by it. The result, of course, is that this book does not have quite the "sway" that the first book does. But it is still worth reading if you are a fan of Beattie or are interested in this topic.

A lot of insults have been hurled at the concept of "codependent" over the last several years, and I suspect that most of it has to do with the fuzzy definition of the word itself, and the somewhat "vague" nature of recovery from this condition. In other words, you know an alcoholic has "recovered" when they stop drinking, a drug addict has recovered when they stop taking drugs, a kleptomaniac has recovered when they stop stealing, and so on. . . . But what exactly is a codependent and how do you know when you have recovered from it? What *observable affects* can be measured? Basically, a "codependent" is a person who believes their happiness lies in another person and then becomes obsessed with controlling that other person. That is the definition Beattie provides in her first book, and if you weren't satisfied with that definition or explanation, then you won't be satisfied with this book either. BEYOND CODEPENDENCY is geared toward people who have accepted the author's premise, and who are ready to follow her toward her description of what recovery means. The author indicates that one knows they have recovered from codependency when they stop seeking for approval in others and are content with their own appraisals of their self-worth.

Suffice it to say that this is not exactly "scientific" in that it cannot be observed and replicated in a lab, and even I, a lover of Beattie's work for years, still find the whole category a little fuzzy and am not sure if it is the main problem to be focused on (I believe "codependency" is only one aspect of other more vital issues, and is not the main issue itself). But this book is uplifting and I find Melody Beattie inspiring. If you enjoyed her first book, and you enjoy books that feel supportive in a rhetorical sense, then you will probably enjoy this book.