Helping Your Child Through Divorce (Family & Childcare) (Paperback)

~ Ph.D. Florence Bienenfeld (Author) "When a boat is sinking, all the passengers are given life preservers..." (more)
Key Phrases: making derogatory statements, parenting plan, restructured family, Sharing Your Child, Christmas Day, Christmas Eve (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Formerly a divorce mediation counselor, Dr. Bienenefeld heartily advocates intervention by a trained counselor who represents the child's best interests and encourages marriage partners to become "parent partners." The author believes children cope best in a "conflict-free environment that nurtures self-esteem and parental bonds." Illuminating case studies, sample agreements, charts, and clear, practical guidelines instruct and reassure, although the 30 children's drawings and the letters reprinted from the author's former newspaper advice column are repetitious. The emphasis on mediation contrasts with its omission/downplay in books like Stuart Berger's Divorce Without Victims ( LJ 3/1/83). Janice Arenofsky, formerly with Arizona State Lib., Phoenix
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Hunter House; 2nd edition (January 26, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0897931688
• ISBN-13: 978-0897931687
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,072,626 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars How to focus on your child's wellbeing, not revenge., May 7, 2002

By	Dr. Ellen Kenner, Clinical Psychologist - See all my reviews

"I hate life sometimes. I should have been able to see my sisters. I get real angry at my mom and dad. Sometimes I'm mad at the whole world." Divorce often leaves children in a path of devastation. Some children feel the chronic need, well into their adult lives, to try to please both parents, or to show pressured allegiance to one parent and shun the other. Some children have indelible memories of horrific fights and arguments prior to and after their parents divorce. Such children may promise themselves that they will never get married - it involves too much suffering. Some children are convinced that they are the hidden cause of their parent's divorce. Feelings of abandonment, fear, hurt and guilt become the norm. It's common for children to repeat the traumas of their childhood or to withdraw into a repressed silence, cutting themselves off from the pleasures of life. But much of this pain can be avoided, and everyone benefits. How? Dr. Bienenfeld lets you first hear from the children themselves. She then outlines a step-by-step method to help parents grasp the pain that their children are in and to help parents separate their own hostilities and financial battles from parenting issues. Although the parents are no longer marital partners, they will remain parent-partners for life. Given this, she outlines a method for helping them communicate clearly and fairly on all issues involving the children.