It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "One day MaMa and PaPa Bear say to KoKo, "We have something very difficult to tell you..." (more)
Key Phrases: Bear Care

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

How do you talk to your children about your divorce? How can you best handle their responses? Here's a children's book and parenting tool rolled into one. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear is a picture book designed to be read by parents to their children. Koko Bear's parents are getting a divorce, and Koko, a preschool-aged unisex bear, isn't happy about it. "I don't like this divorce. I don't want two homes," Koko says. Koko Bear's story doesn't minimize kids' pain, but it doesn't wallow in it either. The message is positive: children are reassured that their feelings are natural, that their parents still love and will care for them, and that the divorce is not their fault. At the bottom of each page, there are bullet points for parents that give information and advice about what the kids are going through, and the best way to handle each issue as it arises. (Ages 3 to 7 and parents) --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From School Library Journal

PreSchool-Grade 2AKoKo Bear's parents are getting divorced, and the cub must go through many adjustments and deal with a wide range of emotions: anger, guilt, confusion, and sadness. At every step, MaMa and PaPa are helpful, understanding, and supportive. In fact, Lansky's introduction for parents notes that adults might think they "are unrealistically polite and even-tempered." However, this is a book with a purpose, and as such, plot and character take a backseat to message. Below each block of text are comments and suggestions for adults to deal with issues raised by that section of the story. The illustrations are similarly low-key and pleasant, adding to the overall sense of well being. As bibliotherapy, this book serves a purpose. It might be shelved with the author's Divorce Book for Parents (Book Peddlers, 1991) as well as in the juvenile section.AKathy Piehl, Mankato State University, MN
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 4-8
  
• Hardcover: 32 pages
• Publisher: The Book Peddlers (December 17, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0916773469
• ISBN-13: 978-0916773465
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 7.7 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,114,776 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Indispensable book for young children, July 31, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) (Paperback)

This is a wonderful book and I am grateful that it was written and published. My kids have had this book read to them by both me and my ex-wife at both of our homes, and it made a difference to them. It teaches them that the divorce is not their fault, which is a surprisingly tenacious thought pattern. I read it to my kids 3-5 times a week for several months, and still remember my daughter's exclamation when she truly processed that the divorce was because of the parents and not the kids, "Ohhhhhhhh!"

I am purchasing this book for a second time because after not having read it for many months, I passed it on to a friend with a youngster who is divorcing. We then moved to a new house and my 8 year old is going through many of the divorce emotions again, and she specifically requested this book and said "I love that book".

There is one excellent page with nothing but drawings of Koko Bear showing him feeling different emotions. Instead of asking your child how they feel, which they often cannot explain (heck even adults have trouble!), you can have them point to a picture of Koko Bear and then talk about that emotion.

This book will not make the pain of divorce go away, but it provides a good way to learn that what they are feeling is normal and appropriate, that they are not alone in feeling the way they do, and that life will be okay even if it is not what we want.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Absolute Must Read Book - Its a Goldmine, December 14, 1999

By A Customer

Located in a small community, resources are non existent for a parent seeking help in dealing with divorce and its effects on children. I am so glad to have found this book. It allows the child to associate and identify on his or her own. I purchased several other books on the subject, but nothing came close for this age group. I would suggest Lansky's book, "Divorce Book for Parents" as a must as well.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for pre-school kids of divorce!, October 18, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) (Paperback)

This book hits home the message that divorce is not a child's fault, and that parents still love them, though now they are a family apart. My child was only 18mos. during that difficult marriage problem/separation period, and two years later raised many questions why Mommy and Daddy were divorced. This book helped to answer those important questions, and gave me excellent "talking points" to utilize.