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152 of 158 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
MUST READ for spiritually abused adult children!!!, June 21, 1999
By A Customer
Most books on disfunctional families assume alcoholism and/or drug abuse. There isn't much literature that addresses the problem of family disfunction recognising that symptoms/causes can manifest in other ways. The parental conditions he lists that tend to stifle the child within are: chemical dependence; co-dependence; chronic mental illness or disabling physical illness; extreme rigidity, punitiveness, judgementalness, non-loving, perfectionism, or inadequacy; child abuse--physical, sexual, mental-emotional and/or spiritual; denial of feelings of reality. Spiritually abused adult children, even if no physical abuse ever occurred in conjunction, tend to have experienced co-dependence (boundaries are crossed and roles are mixed up in unhealthy ways), rigidity, judgementalness, perfectionism, and denial of feelings of reality, in addition to the description he gives for mental/emotional/spiritual abuse. He develops heirarchical list of 20 human needs, drawing from Maslov, Miller, Weil, and Glasser, and develops the concept that in order for a human being to be whole and healthy and ready to follow a truly spiritual path, these needs must first be met, in order of most basic to highest potential. Most basic, of course, survival and safety; highest potential is unconditional love (including connection with a Higher Power.) He explains the cycle of shame and low self esteem, and maps how healthy boundaries are crossed by all in a shame based family. He describes the role of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and it's treatment. He then describes the steps of healing; no step can be skipped in order to reach true "Genesis (Spirituality)": Begin to deal with core issues, identify and re-experience our feelings, go through the process of grieving, integrating, and finally, spirituality. If you have experienced spiritual abuse in your life (as a child or adult), or aren't sure whether you have, but relate to these issues, then this book is a MUST READ!!!!
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